Tangie's laugh o'the day

[Rich]

Originally posted by Tireburner

The fifth kind of sex is Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

:hehe: :hehe: :hehe:


Now that was good

[speediva]

The bathroom one was pretty disgusting.

As for the types of sex!!!!! Very funny!

[Tireburner]

And now for today's......

Drum roll please....


Subject: THE CHRISTMAS PARROT


One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for
an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a
parrot, named "Chet," which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet," was the shop owner's reply. The shop owner held a match under the parrot's left foot
and Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune
changed, and the air was filled with:" Silent Night. Holy Night..." The young man was so impressed that he paid the shopkeeper and ran home as quickly as he could withChet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" she exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, just as the shopkeeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle
Bells! Jingle Bells!..."The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night. Holy night..." The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He answered, eager to please* his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his* face, cleared his throat, the little parrot sang out loudly "Chet's nuts roasting* on an open fire!".

[Tireburner]

Where'd everyone go?? I didn't think they were that bad.

Here's another one

Subject: Fw: A Little Christmas Mystery Solved


Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick,
and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones
so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that
three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out,heaven knows where to. More Stress! Then when he began to load the
sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and
scattered the toys.
Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the door bell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.
He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree fat man?"
And that my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.

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[Tireburner]

Or this?

CINDERELLA

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin" Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to have turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other..."
------
PINOCCHIO

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having s.ex.
Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

------------------
RED RIDING HOOD

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to s.crew your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

---------
MICKEY MOUSE

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court And the judge said to Mickey,
"You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f.ucking Goofy."
------

SNOW WHITE

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face screaming, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

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[AEstud]

never heard that one before, and its very good.

[speediva]

I've seen the deranged Disney before, and I still like them!