Road Kill what have you hit lately!

[94SolGrl]

A deer hit me in my truck. Thank god it was my truck... woulda totalled the sol. I also got a bird wedged in my auxiliary light hole the other day... THAT was funny. I get out and do my usual walkaround, and there's a bird's ass hanging out of the hole. I just put my car in front of it. Next morning, problem solved. Feathers everywhere.

[2strokebloke]

Originally Posted by audiophile420

i got one .. i just got pulled over and soon as the police where out of sight i jumped on it threw the residential area.. going about 75 tried to drift a corner got scared and hit the brakes and went straight into the curb smashed the front end up,,hit a maple tree killing that of course and stopped 6 inches infront of a house. killed both axles 3tires 1 front bumper... some how i drove it home three flats....time for the B swap i think

Now this is a posting boondoggle if I've ever seen one. You revive a thread that's months old - just to post something in it, that has nothing to do with it's topic?
First off, tires are not considered roadkill, secondly - niether are bumpers or axels. And a maple tree? Let me ask you this: Can you grill and eat a maple tree? It ain't roadkill if you can't make a meal out of it.

[Marc-OS]

Good to see some old fashioned postwhoring again....

[CHaserTourv]

over the years that i drove, i've never hit or ran over anything, thatz the beauty of good 'ol ABS

[Marc04]

umm..i am going to through out a suggestion here.

Find the correct forum for your car. and then post your problem in the correct fourm. One more piece of advice, i wouldn't suggest posting in posts that are months old. Just my

[RazorGTR]

So far this year I've depleated the population of sparrows here in New Zealand by 6. They are really cheeky birds and seem to have no fear and when you are traveling on and open road at 100+kph they have little time to react. So far I've had to remove three from the outter vents and three from the front mount. Damn hey make a bloody mess in the vents aye. Especially when cut in half

[taranaki]

The old car couldn't go fast enough to hurt anything.I did actually swerve once on a vicious caveman impulse to make some fresh roadkill,but the tortoise neatly sidestepped and darted into the long grass...


I'll be watching for him in the Skyline.No reptile makes a fool of Taranaki,especially not a blind three-legged one.

[Sean]

maybe i should post here before it gets locked :P

i've never run killed anything, but i have run over a seagull. Of course, the dumptruck ahead of me did most of the damage. Ever see a seagull get run over? it's messy...

[Macro]

I was driving around today and I found a dead kitten. It really upset me, to see it's cute little face all munted and gory and covered in blood.

[Toksin]

It's that stupid damn similar threads feature

[zebrathree]

That similer threads thing is the biggest waste of my bandwidth since that crap porn the other night.

[YogsVR4]

Had a bird hang a left into my right front tire. I heard the 'pop'

[KatWoman]

I killed a poor little innocent screw this weekend. It was just rolling across the road minding its own business, not harming anyone. I ended up running over it, I tried to swerve to avoid it but there were cars all around. Poor little bugger got caught in my tire tread and it just kept going round and round...it's poor head scraping the asphalt as my wheel turned. God this is killing me....so anyway I didn't know what to do so I sped home, parked in the garage and shut the door and prayed that no one saw any of this. Other than it's flattened little head sticking out of the tread, there was no other evidence of the gruesome murder I had just committed. For the next 14 hours went out to check my tire, the little carcass almost completely embedded. My tire slowly lost air; the little screw's last act of revenge before I scraped it's life away in a hurried waste to carry out my errands. I couldn't sleep last night it was killing me. I pondered calling my boss to let him know a terrible emergency had come up, but decided at the time it wasn't a good idea. I sent a text message to my fiance to warn him of the carnage he would see when he came over later. I even tried an online counseling chat session but it made things worse.

So this morning I got up before sunrise, made sure the street was clear and quickly hopped in my car and sped toward the tire shop. Since it was too late to save the screw I figured the faster I got there to get it removed, the sooner this whole ordeal could be forgotten. But alas in my travels traffic became heavy. My palms became sweaty as I gripped the wheel and stared straight ahead to avoid the callous stares of motorists around me. You could see it in their eyes..."MURDERER!!!" they were thinking. I could feel all of the stares burning into me. I could barely see as the last light before the tire shop finally turned green.

I raced down the last stretch before reaching th driveway of Big O Tires. A policeman was parked just yards away from the entrance. As I slowed to make the turn in, he looked up from his clipboard and his gaze went straight to my left rear tire. He dropped his clipboard and on went the red lights and sirens. NOOOOOOO I thought so I hit the gas and turned in quickly and came to a screeching halt into a parking spot. Before I could get the car shut down the officer was already closing on my rear quarter panel. Soon other police cars came in from all directions. A S.W.A.T. team helicopter rose up from the other side of the shopping center. I was surrounded. There was no escape.

My driver door was opened and the first officer had me by the arm and ripped me from the driver's seat and threw me across the hood of my car. As he put the cuffs on, other officers surrounded us with drawn guns. 2 of them went to my back tire. No sign of the screw. I was thrown into the back of the cruiser and left alone. My keys were still in the ignition and an officer started my car and slowly rolled it back. After 3/4 of a turn of the back tire the evidence spoke for itself. I was guilty, no questions asked. Soon the medical examiner's van arrived. The M.E. approached my car, and donned surgical gloves. With a small pair of surgical pliers, he delicately removed what remained of the screw. As soon as the last thread was out of the tread, my tire collapsed with a loud PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I hung my head in shame. I felt a burning sensation and when I looked up, all eyes were on me. One by one they all began to point at me and walk toward the car. Soon they began screaming and chanting "MURDERER! MURDERER!" Then everything went blank.


















When I woke up the attendant at Big O handed me my keys and said "All set...have a nice day!" I was thinking "WTF!!! I thought I was going to jail!" Then I realized it was all a dream. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. As I got into my car I started thinking about what I needed to get done at the office since I was already an hour late. But as I got near my car I noticed a marking on my left rear tire <cue "Psycho" music> pointing directly back to the crime scene, where it all began

[Macro]

Oooooooh, a screw, as in screwdriver.

I thought of some animal with a similar name....

[Cyprus106]

hehehe, KatWoman... you have WAAAAAAAAY too much free time on yer hands.

I was driving one day and theres a REAL big REAL steep hill by my house. I've got 2 friends in the car. started at the top of the hill doing 35... halfway down i was at 55 and a squirrel runs out towards the bottom probably 40 feet away. He stands on his hind legs and just stares at the damn car. And I don't even try to brake cuz of this bigass hill so when I hit it the bumper was pretty low because i was going down the hill and it was curving flat again. (if you get that) all and its dead body just spattered and slipped ABOVE the fuckin bumper instead of under it and it rolled along my just washed car... It left a nice big blood streak all the way across my hood, got stuck on the windshield wiper, slid up the drivers side of the windshied... rolled along the top and fell off the other side. I GOT ME A NEW RACING STRIPE