So I'm not rich with experience in this field

[Broke_as_****]

Originally Posted by quteasabutten

haha that was amusing, but the guy is lying to you. 99% of the time when we tell you no, we're not playing hard to get. seriously. it pisses us off nothing more when we tell him no and he can't take a hint. how more direct could we be anyways?

Which is why he specifically mentioned the given senario of a girl he dated that said no but really meant yes. He's talking about crazy women not foolish men, thats another topic entirely.

this is ESPECIALLY true with sexual stuff. when i said no don't touch me there, i fucking meant it. that doesn't mean keep trying until you have to hold me down and i'm begging you to stop cuz i like it.

See you're not talking about crazy women, now you're talking about attempted rape. Again, another topic entirely.

i didn't agree with about 95% of the stuff that guy said but oh well, it's a guys perspective, i really doubt i'm supposed to. it did have good entertainment value tho

"Lost are wise words on those who can not see the forrest because of the trees."

[RickwithaTbird]

Originally Posted by J_Swigz

what it basically says to me is to give the "love" you have for your partner a superficial "I love you" stamp.

It also suggests to me that when things get difficult and there happens to be someone who looks good and seems to be a good catch, you dump whoever you with for someone better.

If that were the case, I would have been broken up with my girlfriend a long time ago. But that's not it, relationships take patience and work, ditching a woman because things get tough is bullshit.

My thought on this is, if you find someone who you really love and they love you, then go with it. If you get into a relationship with someone, keeping in mind "well, lets not forget that they're could be someone better," then what is to keep you from being in relationship after relationship because of that "don't get too attached, there could be someone better" attitude.

I don't know, he makes some good points, but a lot of it seems to be him sharing his jaded feelings towards failed relationships.

You are taking this the wrong way. You're blinded by love right now. The point is that you can't just find the first person and throw all your love at them for better or worse. Your good heart can and will be used by a woman if you keep this up. He spells it all out in the exact quote you posted. Once you show a woman that you are there for her no matter what, she loses concern for what bothers you because she knows you'll stay with her anyways. It's typical. I see this happen to guys all the time. It happened to me personally. I thought that if I showed her she was my everything, she would be that much happier with me. No man, it doesn't work that way. It puts her in a position of power. You've got a whole page of wise words to read from an experienced man, and you're saying he's wrong. Subtly let your woman know that other women are attracted to you. Don't let her think you have no other options left. Just read that whole page about 10 times over, please. He countered your argument before you even made it. Every paragraph supported every other paragraph. You have to realize one point he didn't make specifically is that women think COMPLETELY different from men. So your reason for putting your heart on a silver platter makes no sense to women. She'll just eat it.





2.2... you're so innocent. lmao. Nicole will probably teach you a few things.

Nicole you only disagree with the part about flirting with other women because you don't want your boyfriend to do it. You know it's true.

"lost are wise words on those who can not see the forest because of the trees" great quote. perfect for this thread.

[jon@af]

Originally Posted by RickwithaTbird

You are taking this the wrong way. You're blinded by love right now. The point is that you can't just find the first person and throw all your love at them for better or worse. Your good heart can and will be used by a woman if you keep this up. He spells it all out in the exact quote you posted. Once you show a woman that you are there for her no matter what, she loses concern for what bothers you because she knows you'll stay with her anyways. It's typical. I see this happen to guys all the time. It happened to me personally. I thought that if I showed her she was my everything, she would be that much happier with me. No man, it doesn't work that way. It puts her in a position of power. You've got a whole page of wise words to read from an experienced man, and you're saying he's wrong. Subtly let your woman know that other women are attracted to you. Don't let her think you have no other options left. Just read that whole page about 10 times over, please. He countered your argument before you even made it. Every paragraph supported every other paragraph. You have to realize one point he didn't make specifically is that women think COMPLETELY different from men. So your reason for putting your heart on a silver platter makes no sense to women. She'll just eat it.

I understand what you are saying but I don't think that it applies to all situations, you know?

What I meant was, if you are in a relationship that is going great, then why give her the "well, I like you but you're replaceable" attitude? My girlfriend knows she can't just walk all over me and I know I'm not just going to get everything I want out of her. Any guy that thinks giving his mate everything he is and has is a fool, I agree, but I do not think that ditching your mate when things are on the down side of things is justifyable because "well, things got hard and, afterall she's replaceable."

The quote is right and you're right--if you put everything into the relationship and just treat it like "well things have to be perfect all the time, she has to have all my love and I have to keep her happy no matter what" then more than likely, she will wise up and do just as you and the article say.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and 8 months and during that time, we've enountered our fair share of rough spots. A friend of mine told me "if the road you're on isn't bumpy, you're on the wrong road," and I agree with him. I love my girlfriend greatly, but I haven't and don't expect everything to be great all the time; life just doesn't work that way. We both compromise and listen to each other and we both work at this relationship. I put in a lot of work because I care a lot about her and don't feel as though I should put stress on what we have by making sure that she knows I could replace her if I wanted.

Also, looking at other women with your girlfriend taking notice is killer on her self esteem, even if she doesn't say anything. Yes, I look at other woman, but I don't do it to make it obvious to my girlfriend, because I know it would make her feel as though she's not good enough for me. I don't know about you, but I personally value my girlfriend's self esteem and try to keep her positive about herself. Sure, if you've got a girl that you don't mind losing, it's fine to do. But if you are with a girl you really like you won't do this or she will dump you.

Anyone woman that loses concern for what you want in the relationship is a woman that you don't want to be in a relationship with and is not really interested in a relationship herself (in my opinion anyway). A good woman will stick by you just as you stick by her. I know a lot of people feel this to be BS, and with good reason considering the divorce rate, but I feel it is the truth. If you let her know that you are there for her and she takes advantage of it, she was never in the relationship to stay in it in the first place.

I do think he's wrong. I think what Broke as **** said earlier makes good sense, in that if we're talking about just dating around then sure, this could work. But if we're talking about a dating relationship that goes farther than 4 dates and turns into what seems like something, it's the wrong way to approach it. I can guarantee you that if I started taking the advice from that part of the article, my girlfriend would leave me in the next two months. Why? Because it's basically stating that I should treat her like she's there for me to enjoy instead of for me to be a companion to.

Like I said, he has some good points, but that one seriously struck a nerve with me. If you don't get what I'm saying with this post, then I'm not going to bother trying to explain it anymore.

[Broke_as_****]

Originally Posted by J_Swigz

Big ass Post

Not to detract from what you said there Swigz, because it was good but again, like he said at the top:

Originally Posted by The Link

Men in happy marriages or stable relationships don't need to read this;

And in the part in question:

Originally Posted by The Link

If you're just dating, this is the attitude to take.

Swigz, me, the original author and everybody else, we're all saying the same thing on this part. It doesn't apply to all situations. If it's good and you see her or him possibly being the one or even just a stable long term relationship then naturally that part doesn't apply. If you've been with a girl for X months and its great then no, you're not going to purposefully scope out other chicks. If you think the other person is the only one for you and they reciprocate then it's great to express that. But if it's not quite that serious, if you don't see or its too early to tell whether this person is someone you want to be with long term then try not to indicate to them that they are the only person for you. Why? Because:

I think the thing to take away from this part and what the author was trying to say was that once told and shown that they are the one person in your mind that person may conciously or unconciously pick up bad habits in regards to how they treat you, especially if that person other doesn't feel the same way or doesn't feel it as strongly.