My life is about to take a messed up turn...

[GTPSPEED]

thing is im not ugly im avarege if that but she was beautiful and i will never meet someone like that ever again,i know i have to move on but 2 years is a long time for me,its hard the first couple days your right but man,i learned some portuguese i went to brazil and met her family now that brazilian part of my life is gone.but i will move on soon enough cuz if she really loved me she will be back and im good knowing that.i need to move out also i will look for roomates in boston here and see what i can do,later guys

[xavier3jr]

You can always move down here Brian . im sorry man i know exactly what u mean when i was 14 my dad hit me and told me he hated me and wished i was never born....but i gota over it and me and my dad are really close now....

[gstnewb]

My best advice is to stand up to your dad. You are 21 years old. Maybe all he needs is to see that you are a man now and by standing up to him you will show him that. The more fear you show the more he will see you as immature and weak and that will piss him even more. I am about your age, a little older but still, if my dad ever tried to grab me violently or especially choke me, I would defintely show him I am not a kid anymore and these things don't work anymore. You have to earn the respect, not wait for it and run away. Show him you are sick of it and you are who you are and that's it. You can't just sit and watch him and say "WTF" like you are scared. Unless you are 5 feet tall and weigh 100 pounds I don't see why you can't stand up to someone who is grabbing you to choke you. You are 21, officially a man. Worst case, he will say 'move out of my house' but you are already working on that so what do you have to lose?

[Blackcrow64]

Yeah, I am like 5'9" and I only weigh like 125lbs... No way I could win a fight. lol

[ned032002]

You don't necessarily have to fist fight with him but don't just stand there and take his shit, if you are sick of his shit this much to share it with all of us then when you are face to face with him, don't be affraid to stand your ground. He may be able to beat your ass but he might respect you for your courage or your willing to defend yourself. Also if you really wanna piss him off more laugh at him...not such a good idea but hey what I say is just text anyways. Good Luck dude.

[Thor06]

Damn man. Is your dad bigger than you? Stronger. I would just stand and look him in the face as hes giving you shit and if he touches you, lay him out. I wouldnt put up with that shit, especially from someone that supposed to care for me. I can see that staying at home would be cheaper, but shit, I would go with the girl friend. Good luck man.

PS, I would buy an old ass Honda or something and park the DSM .

[yellowspyder]

i would say look for a job at a warehouse or something like that. Where i work starting pay is 15 an hour and you arfe gaurenteed to be at around 20 and hr a year and a half after starting as long as you perform to standards. It aint great but it beats 10 bux to sweep and mop, and y9ou dont really need any expierence. About moving out with your girl just remember that the rent might only be 400 a month but you still got phone electric gas sewer, water garbage pick up food insurance and alot of other things that drive the cost up real quick so take that into account before you make a decision. Oh and if i were you i'd stnad up to your old man if he's actually gonna get physical. granted i evetually got bigger than my dad I remeber the first time he realized he could no longer hurt me more than i could hurt him physially he handled disipline and treated me and my brothers alot differently. and its even more different now that i have lived on my own for almost three years. i wouldnt go out of my way to ruin the relationship though, you never know when you might want it back. I know my dad and I are like best friends practically and do tons together, and wouldn't want to miss out on that.

[NateS]

Damn, I feel ya man. I'm not in that bad of a situation but, I live with my mom and step dad. My step dad likes to feel improtant alot so he will yell at me for stupid random stuff. I am 18 and he will yell at me if I dont have a shower by 11pm on weekdays. I really think he just wants to feel important and in control. For about 14-15 years I have sucked it up. "Yes sir, Sorry sir." I would just suck it up and say sorry or w/e I had to say. Don't get me wrong he can be a nice guy sometimes but, most the time he is a dick. The other day when he yelled at me because my girlfriend fell while walking up the stairs(lmao) he comes to the stairs and goes "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Me not really thinking says "Nothing... don't worry about it." Apparently this isn't what he wanted to hear so he starts bitching. I tell him that he needs to grow up and walk away. Later in the day he tells me that if I ever talk to him again like that he will rip me right out of my shoes. I just smile at him and say "Yeah way to be mature!" I'm really getting fed up with this whole alpha male and all. Luckily my mom is behind me all the way and said if he keeps being a dick she will take care of it. I know blah blah blah. But, thats my life story. I've been through some shit in my short life time so far. A few things including a kidney stone at 14 and my dad dieing when I was only 16. But, after all this you know what? I sit here knowing that I love how my life is and wouldn't change a thing. I am also a Christian and after turning my life over I am truely living life but, I will not go on preaching haha. Basically, life has its hard spots... you have to go with the flow and know that things will get better. Just hang on man and keep it together, something will turn up.

[david-b]

I'm 20. Due to "recent events" I got to be home at 12:30. These recent events consist of sending a text message when I was at my grannys house for christmas, and then going out 4 nights in a row. I respect a curfew, it was always at like 2:30 or something before.

There's been a couple times when they tell me to come home early, and I've come home and 11, and have gotten yelled at for not being early enough. They never say what time, so I figure 11 is early enough. They're stupid.

I've been trying to move out with my g/f. It costs alot to live on your own and that's why I've been trying to find some better jobs. Granted I do make more than my brother, who's 24 and still living at home, but I need more. I can't stand my parents at times. They hate how I spend all my time with my g/f, but then complain when I don't have one. They also complain that they don't know her, but won't take the time to get to know her.

We all have our problems with our family. Some worse than others, but you deal with it or move on.

[Blackcrow64]

Its just real shitty... My dad is trying to run my life the way he wants it to be or something. He thinks because he has been working since he was 8 or whatever that I need to do the same thing... Apparently if you don't make a ton of money they you are a failure at life from the way he presents it to me. He doesn't understand that I don't need so much money that I can buy anything. As long as I have the necessities and am not on my deathbed I will be perfectly happy. I know everyone has rough spots in their lives but geez this one was just horrible and its not getting any better. Tonight he made me eat dinner with the family even though I wasn't hungry and while we were sitting there my mom asked me how my nap was. (I fell asleep on my floor because I only got like 3 hours of sleep last night.) Dad completely flips out yelling at me for falling asleep. He said "If I knew you were up there asleep I would woke your ass up and made you do work." I told him I was tired because I didn't sleep good last night. "I don't care, if I don't get to take a nap then you shouldn't either." I'm like wtf is this shit? How can he even justify that shit? If he don't sleep then neither do I? Ok, way to be dad of the fucking year...

Why do people get off on power trips like that? Its so fucking stupid... I swear I will never do the same shit to my kids when I have them.

[gstnewb]

I told you before and I am telling you again, STAND UP TO HIM AND BE A 21 YEAR OLD MAN! He will treat you like a child until you show him you are a man and deserve to be treated like a man. It's pointless to even talk about this if you are not ready to do something about it and just complain here to us but at the same time answer to him with "I am sorry sir, I was just tired, I am extremely sorry, please don't yell at me again". This doesn't work obviously and if I had a 21 year old son who couldn't stand on his ground I would be forced to toughen him up. You do what you gotta do. Show him who you are and if you really are a man. So many people have the same problem and it's only up to you what you want to do and how you want to handle it. You just have to make some changes if you don't want things to keep going this way. I don't think there is a point to this thread continuing until you actually do something about this yourself. We can't solve your problems. Many people here have already told you to stand up and you are yet again complaining how he is forcing you to eat when you are not hungry. He might as well put a leash on you and you will obey him like a dog. Are you 21 or 10 years old? Do what a 21 year old MAN would do.

[xavier3jr]

look man chill the fuck out......hes here for advice not demands.

edit- i re-read what u said. and you know what YOU need to grow the fuck up. how the fuck are u gana sit here and tell him hes not a man because he don't wana stand up to his dad. its his fucking choice to do what he wonts. like everyone on here has agreed before we are like a family on here and mabey he wonted to share his fucking problems with us

[gstnewb]

Originally Posted by xavier3jr

look man chill the fuck out......hes here for advice not demands.

Well obviously advices don't work here. I am just trying to make a point here. It takes more than complaining on a message board to make a major difference in life. We all gave an advice and obviously that doesnt' work. Well it's not my life so all I can do is give you my point of view. If you want to be treated like that keep doing what you have been doing until now. If you want to make a difference you can either move out or just MAKE it happen. It's up to you.

[xavier3jr]

well mabey if your not gana give good advice, or mabey even something that will make him feel better. then stay out of it, keep your mouth SHUT if you don't have something good to say!!!!!!!!

[Blackcrow64]

Dude... GSTNewb, your a fuck... Sorry we can't all be a badass like you and stand up to him my punching him or whatever the fuck you think I should do. I'm sure that would truly fuck me over even worse as it is wintertime and I'm broke as fuck and I don't need kicked out of here immediately. You think I'm just sittin here complaining and not doing anything? Maybe you should get your ass over here and live in my fucking shoes for a day. Maybe then you would see why I don't punch him or stand up to him and tell him to fuck off or whatever. I think you truly do not understand how fucking scary it is when your life could be ended at any moment for no reason at all. Seriously... I don't wanna hear shit from a badass who has no idea what he is talking about.