Anyone else got some telemarketer stories?

[KustmAce]

I answer and sound real frantic for them to hold on a minute, then I go watch TV or something. My record is 45 minutes before they hung up.

I never thaught of making them wait on hold forever. I will try that sometime

[illegal_eagle187]

whenever they call me i make it sound like im masturbating while talking to them, they'll be like excuse me sir are you ok? ill just go ohh keep talkin dirty lol good stuff

[sivic02]

Once one called asking if I would like to switch over to this long distance plan and I simply said no thanks, but I am interesting in selling my truck. I went into a 5 minute description of the truck and kept trying to sell it to them insisting that they needed it, they eventually hung up.

[LXDSMXL]

I have a few here goes one, went something like this

Him: Hi may I speak with Abel (my father in law)
Me: yes please hold (waited about 2min then Past phone to brother in law)
Brother-in-law: Hello
Him: Hi, Abel?
Brother-in-law: oh abel, hold on (hold for 2 min past phone to his brother)

(Well to make this post short I'll skip the rest of the conversation and give a summary, we past the phone to 4 diff people all of us made him hold on, then passed the phone to another person (not abel of course)It end with me and I ended it like this)

Me: hello sir
him: yeah (sound like he was getting upset)
Me: Sorry but, abel had to much to drink and is really drunk (brother in law yelling in the back ground playing drunk)
Him: (laughs) Ok I'll call later
never called again

[Vtec913]

I like to keep switching languages with them

Me: ?Alo?

Them: Oh, hold on a minute

Them: Hola senor

Me: What did you say?

Them: Ay, lo siento

Them: Ok sir, this should be better

Me: Que hablas?

Keep going as necessary. Spanish class IS good for something

[chacal]

"Good morning, sir, can we have 5 minutes of your time?"
"Of course, how much will you pay for it?"

[riccbhard]

Since I have cable internet, my modem is free. There is a phone line connected to the modem. I like to turn the modem on while they are on the line. "BEEP. BUZZZZZ, BEEP BEEP". They always hang up.

[PBking82]

A good one a while back was when I had some company call me and ask if I was interested in buying a mountain bike. My response was you dirty sob's how dare you call me, I DON'T HAVE ANY LEGS!!!!! Then the guy was like really, well i'm very sorry sir, but we also offer a bike that is ment to be pedeled with your hands. So I let him go through his speach and then I'm like yeah that would be great but are you gonna carry my ass down from my 4th story apartment and then bring me back up? No sir I'm sorry we can't do that. Well how the fuck am I supposed to get to the liquor store? Goddamn this cruel world I'm gonna go kill myself. Then he goes "have a goodnight sir." That was prolly one of thes best ones. Peace-