bad jokes

[Jet-Lee]

how do you fit 20 jews in a VW bug?




the ashtray (no offense)

[NeonAtron]

*3 guys walk into a bar... and get concussions

*a guy and a girl are in the bed and the guy loves to poke belly buttons with his finger. So he does it once and the girl says "Stop poking my belly button." and he does it again and she repeats "Stop poking my belly button. But he returns under the covers and she says "Thats not my belly button." he replies "Thats not my finger."

[PJF220]

Two large men in a pub, one says "Your round" the other says "So are you you fat bas****"

A brain walks into a pub and the barman says "I can't serve you, your outta your head"

A sandwich walks into a pub, the barman says "We don't serve food here"

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub, the barman says "Is this some kind of joke?"

A seal walks into a club

Two elephants walk off a cliff...Boom Boom

A man walks into a pub with a giraffe, proceedes to get it drunk till it collapses on the floor and then he goes to leave. The barman says "You can't leave that lyin' there"

The man replies "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe"

[NeonAtron]

And the award goes to................................................ ..........

Originally Posted by PJF220

A brain walks into a pub and the barman says "I can't serve you, your outta your head"

However

[Insanity_97]

why do polish women douche with colgate?



they heard it reduces cavities.

[Damien]

I'm liking on how to get a vegetable out of the oven, despite how wrong that was..



I got such a better one...let's see f i can't find the Purple Flower joke

[Fritz The Cat]

Why do brides wear white?

The dishwasher should match the stove and fridge.

[Zaphod Beeblebrox]

Two guys walk into a bar.
You'd think the second one would've ducked.

[Damien]

^Not if it was at the same time...duh...

[Fully_Sick]

worst joke I have ever heard in my life..


Q) Why did the Chicken cross the road

A) to get to the otherside! (but these cheeky chickens crossed the road to get to each others Hide!)

[kittedb18bt]

Originally Posted by Damien

I got such a better one...let's see f i can't find the Purple Flower joke

i actually really liked it.

One day this kid was walking to school and this punk was wlaking behind him. Well, the punk kid threw a rock at him and the kid turned around and called him a purple flower.

Well, the punk ran ahead and when the other got there the teacher wanted to talk to him. She asked what happened this morning.

"Well see, this kid threw a rock at me and I called him a purple flower"

"A purple flower!!!???!!! You're going to the principal's office!"

So he went...and the principal asked what happened.

"Well this kid threw a rock at me and I called him a purple flower."

"A purple flower!!!???!!! You're suspended!"

Well, his mom came and picked him up and asked why was he suspended.

"See, this kid threw a rock at me and I called him a purple flower."

"A purple flower!!!???!!! Wait till your father gets home!"

Well, his daad came home, understanding and ready and he asked what had happened.

"Well, this kid threw a rock at me and I called him...a...a purple flower."

"A purple flower!!!???!!! You're going to boarding school!"

Well, it's years later and at graduation they're asking the students how they got there. His turn...

"Well, it all began one day when...um...this kid threw a rick at me, yeah, and I called him a purple flower."

"A PURPLE FLOWER!!!!!!??????!!!!!", the crowd said in astonishment, "You're not graduating!"

Well, the kid walks gloomily onto the road and sudenly this car comes and hits him.

Moral of the story is....look both ways before you cross the street.

[Amish_kid]

Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?








Can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

[Fully_Sick]

whats the difference between menstrual blood and sand?





you cant gargle sand


p.s: i feel dirty, sorry

[landyacht]

Okay some of those are just down right dirty and wrong!


Dirty joke:

White horse fell in a big puddle of black mud. (hehe!)


Clean joke:

The farmer washed the horse. (hehe!)



I got nothing.

[PJF220]

I love crap jokes:

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop and go straight to the budgies in the cages, mick points at them and says "them, there, they are the ones" they ask the store owner for two "and wrap them up in a brown bag would ya"

They leave the shop and drive the van to the nearest clif where mick gets one bird out and perches it on his shoulder, jumps off the cliff and falls to his death. "Fook that....I'm not trying that budgie jumping" says Sean.

Just then, Paddy pulls up, gets a shot gun out of the boot of his car and a paper bag from the passenger seat, pulls out a parrot. Perching the parrot on his shoulder he jumps off the cliff. Half way down he shoots the parrot and continues to fall to his death. "I aint doing that Parrot shooting either" says Sean

Then Colin pulls up...paper bag...pulls out a hen, grasps both legs and jumps off the cliff to his death..... "And there is no way I'm having a go at hen gliding either"