SERIOUSLY OT: Keep whoring alive, it's THREAD #5!!!

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So Kenny is less than a block into the pharmacy run when he makes a lane change but seems to have overlooked one pretty important detail.... there's a car there already.

So Kenny muscles his way into the right lane of this main thoroughfare in downtown Chicago -er- Myrtle Beach. Not until he hears a thud and a honk from the rear end of his vehicle. Its at this point that Kenny realizes he may have seriously jeopardized his chances at having the evening end the way he'd hoped.

Now Kenny is sitting at a red light, in front of the car who he just displaced from its spot in traffic using the NASCAR "if it aint rubbin, it aint racin" method. Kenny knows that this is a major buzz kill since there's about a 100% chance that if this other driver wants to call the police that they will smell the fresh Knob Creek on his breath. Unless the cops are abnormally cool about things, then Kenny is gonna be fucked unless he can smooth talk this other driver into a cash settlement on the spot.

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So once the light turns green, Kenny proceeds through and puts on his turn signal (cause good driving is now on his mind) to make the next available turn where both drivers can pull off to the side.

The driver of the other car seems to hang back a ways, and doesn't follow Kenny around the corner. This confuses, but pleases Kenny who saw his life flashing before his eyes, thinking of how (a second) DUI would effectively ruin the chances at becoming a successful entrepreneur and legit businessman. His pants were nearly shat.

But what of this other driver??

Were they drunk and scared to stop for fear that Kenny would want to call the police?

Was the other driver on a suspended license?

Was their car stolen?

Did they take Kenny's plate # down to file a police report later? Maybe terrified to approach the car with dark tinted windows?

Had they gotten out of their car on the busy main street while Kenny was driving to the next block? Why didn't they follow? Kenny would have followed the fucktard that swipes the side of his car. The police would be called to remove Kenny foot from their ass.

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So Kenny is confused but seemingly free from judgement of this street violation... at least for the moment. He goes on to meet Stevie at the second bar, where he finds out that Stevie was currently cashed out and had to run home to restock the pharmacy.

Kenny returns to the first bar with a still empty prescription and new racing stripe down the side of his car as a result of his roller derby brand of lane changing. The wounds to the car are superficial and can be mended with a wax and buff and a couple dabs of paint around the wheel well.

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Kenny parks his wounded vehicle at his office and returns to bar #1 where the group of vuhjeens-er- ladies are still hanging out, talking about shit that doesn't interest Kenny one bit. He informs them that his pharmacy run was fruitless and chooses not to mention the incident that happened along the way. They close their tabs. Kenny closes his. They all walk around the corner to a different bar. In the meantime, Stevie is running home to fill that prescription and will meet Kenny and the vuhjeens at the second bar.

Cut to an hour or so later. Stevie has arrived. Prescriptions are now filled..... but the vuhjeens are talking some bullshit about this other bar, one mentions the boyfriend of the other (a move straight out of Cock Blockers 101). They are beginning to look more like a lost cause, so Kenny calls it a night and takes his sorry ass home.

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All things considered, the night ended pretty well for ol Kenny, so he stops to get a celebratory burrito platter before going home to sample his pharmaceutical wares.

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So in all of this, there was one positive.... Kenny saw the light and is scared straight. There's still a possibility that the driver of that other car files a report and wants to go to court and press charges (misdemeanor traffic hit and run), which would be kind of appropriate since it would be a massive waste of Kenny's time with all the court procedures. Kenny has spent his fair share of time in court rooms.... not a fan.


So Kenny has given up on combining two of his favorite activities, drinking and driving. You only get so many warnings before you fuck up and have some really horrible shit happen. You'd think a DUI in college or a fender bender in May that cost $1,600 out-of-pocket to repair both cars would have been enough to bring this decision about.

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Kenny is through though through thorough tough thought. (alliteration > you)

Kenny Powers will drink and drive no more. Gotta set a better example for the children

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by 00accord44

Kenny is through though through thorough tough thought. (alliteration > you)

Kenny Powers will drink and drive no more. Gotta set a better example for the children

Thanks for the story time....

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

Thanks for the story time....

I had something similar happen several years ago, pulling out of a gas station, there is a car in front of me, I look to the left, look to the right, gun it... right into the back of the car in front of me. Granted I only had maybe a 10 feet head start before ramming them, it still knocked out my turn signal night and popped in part of my plastic bumper as well as cave in part of their bumper. They pull out, I follow thinking they are going to pull into the next parking lot, not to in peed traffic trying to leave the gas station. This was also around 3:30 am... I follow... they never pull over... I follow for a mile or so, they never signal to me, wave, pull over... nothing. So I finally turn off... I know they don't have my info because I had no front plates, and they never seen the rear of my car, they clearly know I hit them...


Nothing ever came of it. I figure, at that time of night and in the area I was in, they were up to no good also.

Hopefully the same will be true of you.

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Yeah I hope so. Seems to me that anybody who was intent on making a deal out of it would have at least followed be around the corner. Shit, I was directly in front of them.

I know if it were the other way around, assuming I weren't drunk (even though if I were it would be the same and probably worse) I would follow til the sumbitch stopped. Depending on his/her attitude and explanation, shit goes down.

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A year or two ago, some guy in a minivan ran into the back of me at a stop light. His foot slipped off the brake onto the gas and he left a scuff and indentation where his license plate screws were.

I got out of the car, looked at it and let him go with a few choice words.... but I definitely had words