So....need some advice or help or something

[TigersClaw]

Ok, I wasn't really sure where to take this because I don't think many of my friends would understand if I told them about this, but I'm trying to deal with an issue that is getting in the way of one of my personal life. It's stressing me out a considerable amount (hence the location of the topic) and I figured the best way to get thoughts on it would be with some people who don't know me and will give me some honest answers (I hope).

there's no real way of beating around it, so I'm going to just say it. I have a problem with adult videos. Not to the extent that it's the only way I can "perform" but I think it's affecting my relationship with my wife and I really don't want this to be something that hinders or even ruins my relationship.

I've been into it for a while now - probably for at least the last 9 years or so. I don't buy movies (probably only purchased one or two) but I have downloaded a lot of movies and viewed plenty of pictures. It's wierd how I percieve it - almost like it's just something to kill time - but at the same time I can't get away from it. I've tried before and at some point I always find myself looking for movies or pictures and so forth.

Well, recently, my wife discovered some of the sites I had been looking at and she didn't yell, she didn't berate, but I know she is disappointed, as she should be.

I suppose what I'm asking is, is there anything any of you could suggest to deal with this? I want to get away from this being an issue, but if there's anything that people could suggest or if anyone has dealt with this before, advice is greatly appreciated.

[oldblu65]

Talk to your pastor , priest ,or rabbi !

[Gohan Ryu]

^^^agree^^^
You need Dr Phil, or someone more qualified than a bunch of gearheads on an automotive website.

For example, my advice would be to see if you can get your wife to watch some porn with you, then bring out the video camera.

[WickedNYCowboy]

Originally Posted by oldblu65

Talk to your pastor , priest ,or rabbi !

Agreed 100%. Then go buy a car that needs restoration, or something you want to hot rod to kill time with. It'll feel good to have a result you can enjoy and show people with pride saying I built that.

[ericn1300]

http://www.no-porn.com/

try it

[Nancy08]

Your Friend's advises are more correct. Trust them.
And of course, follow what your heart desires.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

[MagicRat]

I was reading in Scientific American magazine last month that, for many people, watching porn produces endorphins in the brain, giving people pleasure, much like a 'runner's high'.

So, in a way, watching porn is an addiction, like drugs or alcohol.

I am not sure if a priest, pastor or rabbi is the way to go... unless they have demonstrable experience in handling addictions.

Imo, contact your local chapter of Alcoholics Anon.
A relative of mine runs 2 AA chapters around here, and he says they get all kinds of addicts... booze, coke, gambling, food etc. They may have some addiction advice.

Oh yes, throw out or delete all your movies, block the sites using a parental-blocker and seduce your wife when you feel the urge.
I like that 'no porn' site, too. It could be helpful.

[youngkia1]

Thrown everything that will cause trouble. If you can't help it you must ask an advice to the expert. They might help you anyway.