Sex Life!!!!

[stepho]

Thats what I get for bragging I guess... I haven't had sex in like a week, and I probably wont for quite a while.

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK KKKKKK

someone buy me a whore?


The worst part about it is my girlfriend got me these new restraints for christmas (no more ropes around the bed posts crap) that I have been dieing to use on her but I haven't got the chance too and probably wont for a long while!


and where the fuck is everyone? This place is dead.

[goldz28]

You are one weird person. When Jim sees this I don't want to hear any crying from you saying he is picking on you. If you do I will have to put you in time out...lol

[stepho]

Originally Posted by goldz28

You are one weird person. When Jim sees this I don't want to hear any crying from you saying he is picking on you. If you do I will have to put you in time out...lol

This is Jim's Parlor. There is no crying in Jim's Parlor.

[Earlsfat]

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH MAN! WHAT? Just ... WTF?

I found the thread title amusing so I'll cut you some slack. But, you need to tone it down a notch Stepho... "Hey honey can I tie you up, hook my junk up to the zapper, put some vice-grips on your boobs, shove a lit candle up my ass and see if I can get us both off at once" ain't going to get you far. ROFLMAO.

Seriously.. I don't care what mental issues this woman has... try some fucking flowers and shit like that first... you'll get farther. Regardless of what she says (unless she has a dick) you'll have much more sex if you treat her like a WOMAN rather than like a blow up doll.

[Genopsyde]

amen

[Blackcrow64]

[philly rs]

dude im so glad im a old head now...we dont have issues like this..unless were married, wives sometime dont put out like they should...but the single fukkers like myself...we swim in the poon!!! because we are suave with the mac daddy baby!!! u need to come on down to florida, bring a note pad, or video (which ever will help u learn better) and watch the lion in his natural surroundings hunt! you cant just pull that kid rock/ little john bull shit rock with your cock out, or hey bitch what it do...that shit aint sexy!!! an pull up your damn pants, and look like a regular young man...and get ahold of some smell good man..chicks love a man that smells sexy..its like food dude, u have to look good enough to be ate in order to be eaten!! im thinking about being the real hitch u may need to join my first class man. you have been crying over this chick for a minute...fool u have a damn 20 dollar bill and women are like dimes in this world...u do the math!! if shes not living up to what u want at this moment...get a new one...aint that what eazy-e said back in 93 "if that bitch start fucking up...ill just fuck her friend"...get with it kid...your not 50 yet..nor do u need a pill or a pump..this should be the best sex times of your live..3sums, bi-chicks, and fuck parties...cum on dude your killen me here..now go make us proud and put those damn cuffs to good use!!!

[Blackcrow64]

Originally Posted by philly rs

dude im so glad im a old head now...we dont have issues like this..unless were married, wives sometime dont put out like they should...but the single fukkers like myself...we swim in the poon!!! because we are suave with the mac daddy baby!!! u need to come on down to florida, bring a note pad, or video (which ever will help u learn better) and watch the lion in his natural surroundings hunt! you cant just pull that kid rock/ little john bull shit rock with your cock out, or hey bitch what it do...that shit aint sexy!!! an pull up your damn pants, and look like a regular young man...and get ahold of some smell good man..chicks love a man that smells sexy..its like food dude, u have to look good enough to be ate in order to be eaten!! im thinking about being the real hitch u may need to join my first class man. you have been crying over this chick for a minute...fool u have a damn 20 dollar bill and women are like dimes in this world...u do the math!! if shes not living up to what u want at this moment...get a new one...aint that what eazy-e said back in 93 "if that bitch start fucking up...ill just fuck her friend"...get with it kid...your not 50 yet..nor do u need a pill or a pump..this should be the best sex times of your live..3sums, bi-chicks, and fuck parties...cum on dude your killen me here..now go make us proud and put those damn cuffs to good use!!!

It's all about presentation... Every aspect of this world revolves around it.

[philly rs]

amen my brotha...amen!!!

[stepho]

Originally Posted by philly rs

dude im so glad im a old head now...we dont have issues like this..unless were married, wives sometime dont put out like they should...but the single fukkers like myself...we swim in the poon!!! because we are suave with the mac daddy baby!!! u need to come on down to florida, bring a note pad, or video (which ever will help u learn better) and watch the lion in his natural surroundings hunt! you cant just pull that kid rock/ little john bull shit rock with your cock out, or hey bitch what it do...that shit aint sexy!!! an pull up your damn pants, and look like a regular young man...and get ahold of some smell good man..chicks love a man that smells sexy..its like food dude, u have to look good enough to be ate in order to be eaten!! im thinking about being the real hitch u may need to join my first class man. you have been crying over this chick for a minute...fool u have a damn 20 dollar bill and women are like dimes in this world...u do the math!! if shes not living up to what u want at this moment...get a new one...aint that what eazy-e said back in 93 "if that bitch start fucking up...ill just fuck her friend"...get with it kid...your not 50 yet..nor do u need a pill or a pump..this should be the best sex times of your live..3sums, bi-chicks, and fuck parties...cum on dude your killen me here..now go make us proud and put those damn cuffs to good use!!!

uhhh DJ I already live in Kissimmee. Pull my pants up? I'd look like Steve Urkel. I already wear them around my waist. I've been told i am a very snappy dresser btw.

Jim- I am always chivalrous and have given her flowers a few times.... I should suprise her with some again though. Why do you guys always assume the worst? Vice grips? Ouch! I wouldn't dream of mutilating her perfect nipples. The straps are just so I can tease her (with a feather or something) and she can't do anything about it until it has been built up enough assuring multiple orgasms (for her). Sheesh ropes dont have to only be used for violent rough sex (thats actually better without ropes), ropes can also be used for soft sensual love making as well.

[philly rs]

well maybe u need a new girl! and i 4got u are 30 mins from me....lets hang out...ill be your wingman for the night........new chick new chick new chick!!!!

[Genopsyde]

you sure you wanna do that?

[stepho]

Originally Posted by philly rs

well maybe u need a new girl! and i 4got u are 30 mins from me....lets hang out...ill be your wingman for the night........new chick new chick new chick!!!!

Yeah I still have to shoot some video of your car for you. Sorry to disappoint but I will be keeping the old chick. I think I am going to spend the rest of my life with her.

[Earlsfat]

Originally Posted by stepho

Yeah I still have to shoot some video of your car for you. Sorry to disappoint but I will be keeping the old chick. I think I am going to spend the rest of my life with her.

Oh Jesus Christ. Stepho... MAN LAW # 1... NEVER MARRY YOUR FIRST PIECE OF ASS.

Oh and, how can you blame us for the conclusions we jump to... after all the things you broadcasted about your sex life that even our deviant minds were reluctant to admit hearing... and on top of that you post up about bondage sex...

Advice... read the post before you hit "submit reply" and if you think one of us might cringe when reading it... tone it back a few notches. lol.

[stepho]

Originally Posted by Earlsfat

Oh Jesus Christ. Stepho... MAN LAW # 1... NEVER MARRY YOUR FIRST PIECE OF ASS.

Oh and, how can you blame us for the conclusions we jump to... after all the things you broadcasted about your sex life that even our deviant minds were reluctant to admit hearing... and on top of that you post up about bondage sex...

Advice... read the post before you hit "submit reply" and if you think one of us might cringe when reading it... tone it back a few notches. lol.

Don't worry I won't marry my first piece of ass... I dont even know if she is alive or not... shortly before we broke up she started doing cocaine, acid and god knows what else, I wouldn't be suprised if she ODed. I haven't spoken to her in like a year.

I was being sarcastic Jim, I don't blame you guys for the conclusions you jump too. Its all in good fun.