Help me write a funny essay

[RickwithaTbird]

That's what I was hoping. But then I went to college and had an even more anal english professor. She thought she invented writing I guess. I dropped out. I can't stand it when professors don't let you have an opinion.

[Jet-Lee]

Research Essays are just that, not opinions, fact-based research essays.

When I went to college, for the one semester I did, my english teacher asked what WE THOUGHT the meaning was of a specific picture.

The picture:
A boy floating above a woman holing a flower in his outstretched hand toward the woman who was laying in a bed. The boy appeared to be a young angel who had floated in through the open window. The woman is reaching up to take the flower, but not yet touching it or the boy. The entire picture is black and white.

General census was that the woman was the mother of the boy/angel and was giving him the rose as a symbol of releasing his spirit after he died in some sort of tragedy. This opinion was greatly appreciated by my "professor". I took an alternative route. Seeing as the woman looked somewhat older, my thought was that it was her son, who died long ago, coming to give her a rose as a symbol that she is leaving the world soon to be with him, kind of telling the future. I wrote 5 pages supporting this idea. I got a big fat "F" because "that is not what the picture means" even though our paper was to be what the picture meant to US.

I stood up and said a nice "Fuck you" and left. I'm never going back to college because of her, and my biology teacher. Biology is another story I won't get into right now, as the topic is English.

[clawhammer]

Well, this paper was for history. I didn't put a lot of thought and effort into it because I honestly don't beleive anybody reads it. Papers that I write for my composition class I actually put time into, and my grades show that.

BTW, I'm a freshman in college, and this paper had to be about something that we learned about in the past 3 weeks. I picked the Renaissance.

[RickwithaTbird]

word up jet lee...

thats the shit im talking about.

[ci5ic]

Originally Posted by Jet-Lee

Research Essays are just that, not opinions, fact-based research essays.

When I went to college, for the one semester I did, my english teacher asked what WE THOUGHT the meaning was of a specific picture.

The picture:
A boy floating above a woman holing a flower in his outstretched hand toward the woman who was laying in a bed. The boy appeared to be a young angel who had floated in through the open window. The woman is reaching up to take the flower, but not yet touching it or the boy. The entire picture is black and white.

General census was that the woman was the mother of the boy/angel and was giving him the rose as a symbol of releasing his spirit after he died in some sort of tragedy. This opinion was greatly appreciated by my "professor". I took an alternative route. Seeing as the woman looked somewhat older, my thought was that it was her son, who died long ago, coming to give her a rose as a symbol that she is leaving the world soon to be with him, kind of telling the future. I wrote 5 pages supporting this idea. I got a big fat "F" because "that is not what the picture means" even though our paper was to be what the picture meant to US.

I stood up and said a nice "Fuck you" and left. I'm never going back to college because of her, and my biology teacher. Biology is another story I won't get into right now, as the topic is English.

That's ridiculous, but yet, I've encountered the same narrow-minded bullshit throughout my life. Precisely why I damn near failed art every time I took the class, yet, here I am, a graphic designer. And everyone looks at me cross-eyed when I tell them how I basically flunked art all through school after they've seen some of my artwork.

[Toksin]

You guys have dealt with some fucked up lecturers, but I guess there's many of those in the arts colleges.

University should teach you how to think, not what to think.

[Jet-Lee]

Originally Posted by ci5ic

That's ridiculous, but yet, I've encountered the same narrow-minded bullshit throughout my life. Precisely why I damn near failed art every time I took the class, yet, here I am, a graphic designer. And everyone looks at me cross-eyed when I tell them how I basically flunked art all through school after they've seen some of my artwork.

Werd, I get similar reactions with computer programming, problem solving, yada yada yada. People can't believe that I refuse to get a degree. Pay is worse, but battling the [school]system ain't worth it.

[Mustangman25]

Originally Posted by turtlecrxsi

That's high school... Creativity is pushed more in college writing I guess. I wrote a screenplay for my Masters Thesis in English.

That's the feeling I've gotten in the past two years of taking college level English courses in high school...as opposed to other hs English classes where you just had to spit back out everything you'd 'learned' in class, I was finally able to come up with opinions on the stuff we were reading or doing and write about it...the fact that creative thinking is encouraged is actually helping me to enjoy English the past year and a half; I just wrote a paper on "Frankenstein" where I decided to not take either position that the teacher asked us to take, and she loved the fact that I went outside the box, something that I've wanted to do for a while in a class like that.

Sorry, a little offtopic...

[PBking82]

I'm not saying that a good essay has to be written with an into, 3 bodys, and a conclusion. But, if you are looking to score highly than that form goes a long way. You can still imput your own opinions and whatnot(you don't have to conform) just don't make it look like some random tangent that has no flow, or logical organization to it. Obviously you are going to start out with your strongest argument and continue down the line getting weaker, then summarize in your conclusion. Geez guys who didn't take fucking HS english? Peace-