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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
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Snappy Anwsers
Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub." Snappy Answer #2 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." Snappy Answer #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. Snappy Answer #4 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No sir, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." Snappy Answer(s) #5 A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS. "The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore. "F***you! "Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too." Snappy Answer #6 A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow." A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class stifled their laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student and said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
__________________
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
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#2
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lol..funny
.. especially the last one
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#3
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
hahaha oh man that last one is great
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"The greatest Americans have not been born yet, they are waiting patiently for the past to die" |
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#4
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
I loved #3
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#5
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
haha! good ones!
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MAKE ART, NOT WAR |
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#6
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
Quote:
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Count em..... matada19: she die? OoToksinoO: no, unfortunately matada19: damn OoToksinoO: cant win em all man matada19: can i sig that? |
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#7
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^ Yeah, all of us do!
__________________
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
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#8
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
Those are all funny!
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#9
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
Good Stuff!!
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http://public.fotki.com/tonioseven/ |
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#10
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
The last one was particuarly awesome
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Check out my Pride and joy in AF- and discuss your favourite Alfa Romeo ![]() 2007 Audi A4 3.0 TDI Le Mans |
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#11
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
Quote:
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#12
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
thanks, good find
__________________
Co-Founder of AF V-Card Club 1999 Ford Mustang Cobra: Cobra R rims, Magnaflow CB. "no way man...i saw an LS1 fight godzilla and the LS1 beat godzilla and it looked in the air and was like what do you think of that god and god was like bring it bitch so they fought and the LS1 beat god now the LS1 is god because its the greatest thing ever." |
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#13
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Re: Re: Snappy Anwsers
Quote:
__________________
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
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#14
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
ROFLMAOI hate when I think up funny anwers like that, but I am 20 minutes too late.
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--------------------------------------------------- My signature line. |
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#15
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Re: Snappy Anwsers
that last one is great
__________________
Life is a waterfall, We drink from the river, Then we turn around and put up our walls. Swimming through the void We hear the word, We lost ourselves, But we find it all? |
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