Hierarchy...

[tonioseven]

From: General Manager
To: Departmental Heads
''On Friday evening at 5 p.m., Halley's Comet will be visible in this area—an event which occurs only once every 76 years. Please have the employees assemble in the park area outside the building and I will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain, we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the employees in the canteen and I will show them a film of it.''
===========================================
From: Departmental Heads
To: Deputy Departmental Heads
''By order of the General Manager on Friday at 5p.m., Halley's Comet will appear above the area outside the building. If it rains, please assemble the employees and proceed to the canteen, where this rare phenomenon will take place, something which occurs only every 76 years''
===========================================
From: Deputy Departmental Heads
To: Superintendent
''By the order of the General Manager, at 5 p.m. on Friday, the phenomenal Halley's comet will appear in the canteen. In case of rain in the area outside the building, the General Manager will give another order, something which occurs only once every 76 years.''
===========================================
From: Superintendent
To: Foreman
''On Friday at 5 p.m., the General Manager will appear in the canteen with Halley's Comet, something which happens every 76 years. But if it rains, the General Manager will order the comet into the area outside the building.''
===========================================
From: Foreman
To: Team Leader
''When it rains on Friday at 5 p.m., the phenomenal 76 year old Bill Halley, accompanied by his comets, will drive the General Manger through the area outside the building into the canteen.''

[D[X]P]

please STOP!!!!!!!!!!!

[ac427cpe]

From: team leader
to: employees

"due to rain on friday at 5pm the event scheduled to be outside will be moved to the canteen where bill halley and the comets will provide drinks"

[Oz]

[97civiclx]

here is one that is kindda like tonios but i think it is better
December 1
> >
> > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> >
> > I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas
> > Party will take place
> > on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There
> > will be lots of
> > spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional
> > carols...feel free to
> > sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows
> > up dressed as Santa
> > Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts
> > among employees can
> > be done at that time; however, no gift should be
> > over $10. Merry
> > Christmas to you and your family.
> >
> > Patty Lewis
> >
> > Human Resources Director
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > December 2nd
> >
> > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> >
> > In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude
> > our Jewish employees.
> > We recognize that, Hanukkah is an important holiday
> > that often coincides
> > with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year).
> > However, from now
> > on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
> > policy applies to
> > employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.
> > There will be no
> > Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy
> > Holidays to you and
> > your family.
> >
> > Patty Lewis
> >
> > Human Resources Director
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > December 3rd
> >
> > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> >
> > Regarding the anonymous note I received from a
> > member of Alcoholics
> > Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy
> > to accommodate this
> > request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the
> > table that reads, "AA
> > Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition,
> > forget about the
> > gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the
> > union members feel
> > that $10 is too much money.
> >
> > Patty Lewis
> >
> > Human Researchers Director
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > December 7th
> >
> > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> >
> > I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to
> > sit farthest from
> > the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the
> > restrooms. Gays are
> > allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have
> > to sit with the gay
> > men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be
> > a flower arrangement
> > for the gay men's table. Happy now?
> >
> > Patty Lewis
> >
> > Human Racehorses Director
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > December 9th
> >
> > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> >
> > People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by
> > wanting our CEO to play
> > Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does
> > happen to be "Satan,"
> > there is no evil connotation to our own "little man
> > in a red suit."
> >
> > Patty Lewis
> >
> > Human Ratraces
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > December 10th
> >
> > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> >
> > Vegetarians! I've had it with you people!! We're
> > going to hold this
> > party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or
> > not, you can just sit
> > at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as
> > you put it, and
> > you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic
> > tomatoes. But, you know,
> > tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you
> > slice them. I've heard
> > them scream. I'm hearing them right now...Ha! I hope
> > you all have a
> > rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
> >
> > The Bitch from Hell
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------
> >
> > December 14th
> >
> > TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
> >
> > I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty
> > Lewis a speedy recovery
> > from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to
> > forward your cards to
> > her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management
> > has decided to cancel
> > our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of
> > the 23rd off with
> > full pay. Happy Holidays!
> >
> > Terri Bishop
> >
> > Acting Human Resources Director

[TheNotoriousMogg]

WOW, that was pretty awful. I laffed at Dan's more than all of your's Tonio

[YogsVR4]

Tonio that was great! I haven't heard that one before




Don't pay attention to Mogg - he doesn't know humor.

[kittedb18bt]

heard the second one posted. the first one is true. i think the game was called "telephone", i believe we all used to play it when we were younger.