Attention Refugees

[Oz]

Attention Refugees
If you are currently suffering religious, racial or ethnic persecution or even financial hardships and are considering Australia as your destination, please consider the following:

1. Although Australia is a large continent, only small parts of it is actually worth living in and believe it or not these areas are already full of people.

2.The vast majority of the country is uninhabitable due to the large number of poisonous snakes,spiders and man eating crocodiles.

3.Due to the hole in the Ozone layer, you cannot live in the sun unprotected for more than 15 mins and sunscreen costs exceed 40% of the average Australian wage.

4.Australia is in the process of beefing up their defence forces, F111 fighter bombers, Orion coastal patrol aircraft and F/A 18 aircraft all scour our oceans looking for your ships, while the world renowned and feared Collins class submarines are the invisible death lurking undetectable beneath our seas.


NEW ZEALAND WOULD BE A MUCH MORE SUITABLE PLACE TO GO

1.The land mass is virtually devoid of any population, most came to Australia years ago, unlike Australia, there's plenty of room!

2.During the last 1000 years or so any dangerous animal larger than a Pea has gone extinct from the Island, the Friendly Native Maoris have eaten them all.

3.The wonderful climate of New Zealand ensures clouds preserve you from the effects of dangerous UV radiation.

4.The New Zealand Defence force is currently in the process of selling its remaining Tiger Moth biplane, Bill and Wazza of the New Zealand Navy have taken their tin Dinghy and quit. Sailing into New Zealand is simplicity itself!

The beautiful scenery, The Maoris peaceful and friendly nature, promiscuous sheep and the Joys of living in a first world country where water and power is available almost 80% of the time!

Any currency you bring with you will instantly boost you to levels of wealth you never expected as New Zealand's exchange rate with your county of origin is bound to be favourable!


Read some testimonials:

Amatoli Hizradda: "At first I had my heart set on Australia, but with the 50 Drachmas change I had in my pocket, I've purchased a large farmhouse and 2000 sheep!"

Pong pen VNeue: " I'd never heard of New Zealand and when I got here I found no Triads or gangs to hold me ransom, so I started one!"

Slobodan Milosovich:" I was suffering great hardships in my country due to United Nations persecution, I'm safe here in New Zealand as the UN doesn't even know it exists.

[Buzzr]

feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssshhhh nnn cheeeeeeeeeeeeeps

[Oz]

Nah mate - fushhh 'n' chupps.
I'm very sorry, but no accent in the world murders vowels like the kiwi's!

[taranaki]

Ican't imagine why anybody would want to settle in Australia either.Not if you have to go all the way to Whistler for teh skiing.........

[tazdev]

a friend of mine was going into Australia nad the dude at customs asked if he had a criminal record. He was shocked and in reply stated that he didn't think that was still a prerequisite to get in.:finger:

[ales]

Originally posted by tazdev
a friend of mine was going into Australia nad the dude at customs asked if he had a criminal record. He was shocked and in reply stated that he didn't think that was still a prerequisite to get in.:finger:

[Jimster]

Aus$:US$= $.56:$1
NZ$:US$= $.52:$1

What is so lacksture about New Zealands fast strengthening currency???


And I also don't get this fush and chups thing......I don't know anyone who talks like that............


As for the defense force thing.................Yeah..........:o


You'd be suprised at what many people over here know about New Zealand.......I was expecting a mini-USA.....But they all knew the neccessities about where I came from

Lets not forget Piggy Muldoons famous quote: "Those New Zealanders moving to Australia are people who can't make it in New Zealand.......It is a good thing they move to Australia as they raise the average IQ of both countries" Or words to that effect

Back to the drawing board auzy :finger:

[jinushaun]

Wow... NZ Sounds dreamy! Unfortunately, I'm not too keen on sheep. :o

[Oz]

ROFL

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You should see the thread on Moppie's latest 'chick'...