Going into the real world..I guess?

[veilsidercng]

I don't know guyss...I'm SO stressed out. I'm a junior in high school, and I feel like I always have to do stuff for my parents to make them happy. They've been really gay lately, especially about like finding a career/college, and all that. I honestly don't know what I want to do yet, and I understand I have to choose soon but I just don't know=\ They won't shut up about it, and if I consider something that isn't a doctor, lawyer, or engineer they shut it down. I really would like to be a film editor, maybe...but I don't want to move far away, and I doubt it would be easy to find a job. I was thinking maybe teaching something but I don't know what, I don't like math or science..or history..or english..maybe something elective but how would I go about that in college/finding a job. I just don't know what to do Another part of it is this girl I'm in love with that lives 84 miles away. I don't have my license yet but I seriously love this girl, like more than anything and I don't know..I barely see her (which will change) but I don't know I just want to see her now, when I'm with her I always feel better, and nothing else matters. Sorry that was random..but like the SAT's are comming up too and my parents want me to study online (which involves taking a practice full length test 4 times plus other shit((the test is 5 hours long too)) I just need help..I don't expect anyone to like solve it, but I don't know maybe some ideas..just ramble I don't care I just want to feel better. Sorry this is so long and gay. Thanks..

[quteasabutton]

aww i feel similar to you *hug* about the SAT, get a book to study from instead of online tests. u can start and stop studying when u want, not have to worry about saving it or w/e cuz books don't go away and your parents will still be pleased cuz ur studying.

about the girl..u think 84 miles is bad? my best friend/kinda bf lives 350 miles away and i only see him a few times a year now. picture seeing that girl 4 times in 9 months.. but ur right soon you'll get to see her soon so just keep talking to her for now and things will get even awesomer

it sucks that ur parents don't agree with what u want to do. i'm glad mine never said that crap to me. but u need to do what makes YOU happy and ONLY you. don't let ur parents influence ur decision for a career or let them pressure u into anything, you'll never be happy. maybe tlak to ur guidance counselor about possible careers, they might be aware of some ur not that would be perfect for you

you still have at least another full year to decide what u wanna do with ur life as far as majors go. and in college the first year or two is just general credits anyways, u don't really get into ur major unitl later, so there's yet even more deciding time. best of luck to you, just tell ur parents to piss off next time they try and talk to you about careers

[sganc4life_4]

Hmmm where to start...Just remember, Im no expert.

With the girl thing, I was like that when I was a senior last year but mine lived 30miles away, which I usually drove to go see her, this was in FL and we both went to the same school with made it easier. Now we, yes we, live in VA together. So once you get your liscense, drive once in a while if your conservative with gas prices. If not, go see her and do what you feel you want to do, as long as its within reason.

With the SATs, I would say take them once without studying and all that other bullshit and see how you do and go from there. I took them twice and did fine(1340), but Im a good test taker.

As for choosing you career, tell your parents that your going to do what youll be happy doing, and thats that. Dont be rude about it or obnoxious, make them understand its your life your running and you understand they're just trying to make sure your happy and what not. Bottom line is, do what you want to do, you wont want to go to a job 5 days a week you hate.

But like quteasabutten said, dont stress out about it so early in highschool. Most people in college change careers like an average of 3 times or something from what I can remember in highschool. Go party and have fun.

Also, dont be scared of the "real world". All it is is more responsibility, like bills. Im very much enjoying living on my own. By the way, I moved out when I was 17.

Some other crap I forgot lol, parents will always be gay, no matter how old you get or what you do. And your not going to find the job for you right away unless you dont work through college and go right to your "dream" job after. Most retail stores are always hiring, sears is a great place to work for example(7/hr + comission )

Just be happy and deal with stupid crap thats going to be coming along, since it will get stinkier as you go along in life.

Good luck

[highteknology]

seeing how i'm in my fourth year of college and STILL have no idea what i wan't to do, maybe i can offer some insight.

as far as the girl thing goes, you're about to get your license and then you could probably go see her whenever you want.

for the schooling thing, you're only a junior. you still have one more year in high school. THEN at least 4 more in college. as far as the SAT's go, i've heard mixed opinions on taking a class. some say it works some say it doesn't. You could always get the Kaplan book. it has a lot of practice tests in it. when picking a school, you could always pick one that is relatively close to home and is sort of inexpensive. this way you will get an education, you're reasonably close to home and everything. trust me, when you're in college their are so many different paths to take. if you want to do something with education, there is many different options. my sister is going for her education degree, teaching spanish. you could a PE degree, there's special ed. pretty much anything you can imagine there is a degree for, except for like a porn star (but that's questionable, i mean you get plenty of practice in college). if you want to be a film director, get like an art degree then start looking at schools that are strong in film directing, i know NYU and USC have great film schools.

as mentioned above, parents will always be gay, but once you "grow up"(no offense to you by any means) you will learn that they are just trying to look out and prepare you. unfortunately the only way you can be prepared is to actually experience something, which defeats being prepared. real life is fun.

while this sounds sort of dumb, you are in high school still and there is always the stresses of high school, girls, college, the parents, everything you talked about. it gets better. alright, i think i'm done now. plus my boss is coming so i gots to bounce. i dont know how much this helped but maybe it helped a little

[Damien]

Been there done that...give it a few months and it will all go away. Trust me...I'm a sophomore in college and so it wasn't that long ago I went through almost the exact same schiz. Heck, just from junior ot senior year life changed so dramatically. easiest thing, find your buds, chill, hang out and enjoy life. Enjoy it, not go crazy with it. Idk if you do or not, but enjoy the good simple times.

I miss it already...

[MBTN]

Don't stress out about the SAT's... They are pretty easy. As far as school/major is concered, just "yeah yeah yeah" your parents to death Pretty soon you have to realize it's YOUR life. Do what YOU want. Make yourself happy. To HELL with anyone else.

[PBking82]

Well all you can really do is try and do your best in highschool and then apply to a school for gen ed or liberal arts or something that is pretty general and will allow you to change your course of study/school. The worst thing you could do is go to school for something that is so specialized that if you decide to change your mind down the road in 3 years then you are fucked. With the SAT go and pickup the SparkNotes book and basically just tear through it. That's what I'm doing and my score has gone up each time i've taken the practice tests. My mom is behind me 100% with whatever i wanna do except parking my ass on the couch for the next 4 years. And as long as i'm prepared to have lots of loans to pay off after i get out of school, then i can go pretty much wherever i want. With your girl I hate to be the only way to say this, but don't let your girlfriend be the deciding factor in what you're gonna do. I say this because you go somewhere and do something then a year or 2 down the road you breakup with her, and then you're kicking yourself because the only reason you're doing what you're doing is because you wanted to be close to your girlfriend. You'll figure your shit out, don't stress. This happens to lots of people who start to worry about what "they're gonna do for the rest of your life". Teachers and guidence counslers press this issue way too much. People change careers many times throughout their lives, so don't think just because you go to college for one thing that, that will be what you're doing for the rest of your life. Goodluck and chill out. Peace-

[TexasF355F1]

I just started in the "real world" on Monday. I already miss college. Not having to work, skipping class if your too damn tired, and just the lack of responsibility. Although it's time to suit up and play the game.

I have no clue what I want to do. I'm doing research for the real estate side of a large loan firm. I'm starting near the bottom, and hopefully will make it up higher in the next year or so.

[MasterChief1724]

Oh how I'd like to be back in highschool. I just recently graduated and now I have no job even after searching for the past 2 months. I am taking classes for computer repair and networking but I don't know of any places around my area that would have a job doing that.

[2.2 Straight six]

[start of lecture]

everyone gets stressed with school, just do what you gotta do, then take free time to just chill out an relax; lie on your bed or something an listen to your favourite relaxing music whenever you're stressed, i find if i can just let the music flow then i let go of everything else, the music takes over and thats everything while you're relaxing. dont sit up or anything. close your eyes an put the music on.

make it something you like, preferably slow, un-harsh (like no loud drumming) and most importantly make it something you like and something soothing.

i lie down an listen to bob marley when im stressed, it really works. all you have to do is close you eyes an envelope yourself in nothingness, clear your mind an do this for like an hour when you're stressed, or whenever you feel like it.

with what to do, well that's your choice, dont let others decide your fate. if working in movie is what you want to do then go for it. you go through life with others making decisions, be a go-getter. look at what's in the courses, choose what you want an tell your parents that that one is what YOU think is right for you.

i have a passion for cars an i've told my parents that cars are what i want to deal with for the rest of my life, not banking or being a lawyer. see, i dont care that i probably wont be making huge amounts of money.

one of the best bits of advice i ever heard, and this was from a guy who was an audi mechanic, was: "you have to do what YOU want to do, and what YOU enjoy, cos if you dont do that the hardest thing in the world will be getting up every morning to do a job you dont like."

so if movie making is what you want to do go for it, dont let anyone stand in your way, its your life an you want to take hold and take control and do what YOU want.

[/end of lecture]

[fredjacksonsan]

1) Take the SAT's, study how you will learn best. Tell your parents you will do better/learn best with (fill in method here). Combine with discussion about #3 below, you tell them that you would like to sit down when they have time to have a talk about college. They'll appreciate the mature approach, believe me.

2) Girl. 84 miles is tough. I'd apply to the same colleges as she did, and go to one of the ones that matches. For now, get license and permission to travel...

3) Career choice. At 17, you aren't supposed to know what you want to do for the rest of your life (like 5% of people do). Out of 6 kids in our family, our parents "directed" us where they thought we should go, except for the last kid. Guess who is happiest? The one that decided for himself where/what. So respectfully tell your parents there are so many choices that you'd like to explore, that you think you should take a variety of courses once you're in college to see what you are interested in. Got to communicate that having a career chosen for you is not the right move. Turn it around and ask how they'd feel if their parents had told them they were going to have a certain career. College courses? Give them a selection, some math and science to keep them happy to start (there are plenty of them that aren't too tough) and then gradually move over into the major you want. It is your education after all, not theirs. They may threaten to take away your "funding", but will respect you for making your own, mature decision.

Hopefully that helps.

[KatWoman097]

Originally Posted by veilsidercng

I don't know guyss...I'm SO stressed out. I'm a junior in high school, and I feel like I always have to do stuff for my parents to make them happy. They've been really gay lately, especially about like finding a career/college, and all that. I honestly don't know what I want to do yet, and I understand I have to choose soon but I just don't know=\ They won't shut up about it, and if I consider something that isn't a doctor, lawyer, or engineer they shut it down. I really would like to be a film editor, maybe...but I don't want to move far away, and I doubt it would be easy to find a job. I was thinking maybe teaching something but I don't know what, I don't like math or science..or history..or english..maybe something elective but how would I go about that in college/finding a job. I just don't know what to do Another part of it is this girl I'm in love with that lives 84 miles away. I don't have my license yet but I seriously love this girl, like more than anything and I don't know..I barely see her (which will change) but I don't know I just want to see her now, when I'm with her I always feel better, and nothing else matters. Sorry that was random..but like the SAT's are comming up too and my parents want me to study online (which involves taking a practice full length test 4 times plus other shit((the test is 5 hours long too)) I just need help..I don't expect anyone to like solve it, but I don't know maybe some ideas..just ramble I don't care I just want to feel better. Sorry this is so long and gay. Thanks..

Ahhh to be young and in high school again (not!). It is a very trying time and I want to shoot the person who said your teen years are the best time. They say that ONLY because you still don't have to face real world matters such as mortgage payments, full time work, etc.

Society expects you to be ready for the "real world" by the time you are 18...move out of the house, know what career path to take, go to college etc. The truth is not everyone is ready for stuff like that the day they graduate high school or turn 18. Your preparedness (or lack of) depends on your own life situations, whether it be in your living/family environment, financial, etc. Deciding what you want to do til the day you retire is a very hard decision. Your teenage years are too young yet to decide how you want the rest of your life to go. Sure you can make plans, and it never hurts to have a plan, but the odds are they can/will change as you develop and take on responsibilties of adulthood.

You need to sit and talk with your parents about your career choice and discuss that you need to go school for what YOU want to do, and what YOU will be happy with. This is your future in the making, not theirs. Yes doctor/lawyer/engineer work is good money, but you have to work your ass for it. The schooling for each is grueling as well. Not that it doesn't pay off in the end, but there's no use wasting time and money working toward something you don't want or feel pressured into.

Another thing, a big paycheck doesn't necessarily mean more happiness or success. How much money you make isn't key, but how you handle the money you do make is. Money isn't everything and it can't buy happiness, relationships, or success. My personal definition of success is this: if you pay your bills on time, manage your money well, keep a roof over your head/clothes on the back/food on table, and maintain good relationships with the people in your life, then you have achieved success.

So sit with your parents and try to explain what you want out of life, what you want to go to school for, and how this is your future, not theirs. Every parent wants to see their child do well in life, however they need to eventually let go, let you go on, learn from your mistakes etc.

As a parent, you can be the best mom or dad in the world, provide and teach all the right things, but ultimately children still go their own way once they are adults, and sometimes go the opposite direction that their parents had hoped for.....but we ALL need to find our way in this life. If you are doing good, keep up the good work. If you falter or get yourself into a hole, then get out of it and get back on your feet again.

[veilsidercng]

Sorry it took long for a reply, my computer wouldn't let me load the thread. Thanks so much though guys...I don't know I could go on about how I feel about it, and stuff but I agree with all of you 100%. You all really made me realize stuff, and I just feel alot better. I'm going to try not to stress about it, take my time, and right now I'm going to go lay down and listen to music ..Thanks soo much