Blonde with a difference!!!!!!!

[ragt20]

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for
the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is
parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything
checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde
for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee
of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground
garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but
we are a little puzzled.


While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?"


The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An Australian woman was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped over, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Jacko.

"Jacko! Jacko!" she yelled.

Jacko came running in.

"Jacko, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said.

"Strewth!" Jacko said and tried to pull her up.

"You're just too heavy girl. I'll go across the road and get Bluey"


They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

"No way. We can't do it" Bluey said "Lets try Plan C"

"Plan C?" exclaimed Jacko. "What's that"?

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her"

"Spot on" Jacko said. "While your doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits"

"Play with her tits"? Bluey said, "Why the hell would you want to do that"?

Jacko replied "Well, I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A divorcee was grocery shopping when she spied the long legs and firm butt of the 18 year old bag boy. Upon purchasing her groceries she she asked the cashier if she could have the bagboy wheel her groceries out to her car. Once in the parking lot she leaned over to the boys ear and whispered " Did you know that I have an itchy pussy?"

The boy leans away from her and in his cracking voice says "Lady, you're going to have to show me..........

I cant tell one Japanese car from another."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>It's easy to understand
why radical, fundamentalist Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Just look at their
lifestyle:
>
>* No premarital sex.
>
>* No booze. None. Never.
>
>*
No TV. No cable TV. No satellite TV.
>
>* No Spice channel. No Playboy
channel. No ESPN.
>
>* No Hooters.
>
>* No Sports-Illustrated Swimsuit
Edition.
>
>* No organized sports of any kind. That's right -- no sports!!!.

>
>* Women have to be completely covered and wear veils. No thongs.
>

>* No Victoria's Secret stuff.
>
>* Very, very few cars. Camels. Lots
of camels. Stinking, filthy camels.
>
>* Sand. ****ing sand everywhere!

>
>* More sand.
>
>* Ever try to fish at an oasis? No bass boats. No
bass. No fish.
>
>* Sandstorms. More ****ing sand everywhere!
>
>* Rags
for clothes and hats.
>
>* Camel and goat burgers cooked over burning
camel-dung chips.
>
>* Eating with your right hand only -- because you
wipe yourself with your left hand. Toilet tissue considered "decadent,
Western."
>
>* Constant wailing from next door ... no...wait, that's their
music!
>
>* And when you die it's supposed to all get better... No wonder
they volunteer!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all
of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved
money more than just about anything. Just before he died, he said to his wife: "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he
died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and
her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony,just
before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait
just a minute!" She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.""You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?" "I sure did," said the wife. " 'I wrote him a cheque." :hehe:

[YogsVR4]

That first one was a real hoot!













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[tazdev]

all class

[DaFoo]

That is true about how Muslims wipe their ass with their left hand. That's why they never shake with their left hand. Touching someone with it over there is cause for an ass whoopin'.