2003 power windows & locks gone crazy

my power windows started working some days & not on others. sometime one would work & sometimes none. Now they wont work at all. When i try the drivers side i can hear a click from the fuse panel under the dash, but i hear nothing when trying the passangers side window. Then my locks went on the fritz at the same time. The same prob that sometimes one or more will work & sometimes they dont. It doesnt matter if i try to make them work from the door itself or from the keyless remote. They are possesed...i was told that it was a relay under the dash, so i got one & dont know where it goes.
I am a single female & could realy use some help on this one.thanks

The GEM controls both functions. That's where to start checking.

Where's the gem?

From http://www.alldata.com/techtips/2005/20050110a.html

The Generic Electronic Module (GEM) is located behind the instrument panel to the left of the steering column. It’s a bit of a bugger to get at and that may be a good thing for you. Why is that? I have a problem with the diagnosis of your inoperative cruise control being related to the GEM module. Here’s why. The GEM module is responsible for the following: Door Ajar & Low Washer Fluid warning light, Remote Keyless Entry & Power Door Locks, Power Windows, Courtesy Lamps, all the Door Ajar Switches, including the Lift Gate, Interval Wipers/Washer, Heated Mirrors & Rear Window Defrost, Rear Air Suspension, Warning Chimes and also ties in a bit with the ABS & Air Bag System.