Need some help with moving out. Parents!

Hey all;
Long story short, I found a place to live. It's a nice apartment, literally perfect for me. It's my decision of course, but my Mom is throwing a fit about it. My Dad is all cool and telling me that I should take it and really supportive. But my mom is putting up a huge fight. She's going to see it tonight, but I need some fuel for my fire. She has 2 sons, me being the youngest and my brother is still living at home and probably will be for a while. He's 4 years older than me.

I've got the I'm responsible, I've got a good job, and you have to let go, and I can't stand you... but I need more things to say. All she's doing is crying. How did you guys coop with moving out, or is my mom the only weird one? I should have had this place already.

EDIT: Oh and I got the whole, "you're too young and it's not the right time". Apparently the economy is failing and i'm going to be screwed. It's a 15 month lease BTW. Which is also a "problem".

And second edit... it's literally about 150 feet away from where I live right now. It's across the street and a little down the block for the most part, so it's not like I'm going far.

how old r u?
is your job secure enough that a 15 month lease wont be a problem?
It could present a problem if there are to many of those jello-shots and the bills dont get paid and you have to run to mummy for a dollar or two.
then she can say the dreaded (I told you so).
and the grand finnally........................
That is to close to home. miles away is much better. you never know, your mom might take up star gazing and use the telescope for son watching instead.

LOL, i'm the same boat dave. I can't leave my parents' house because of my mom. I'm probably getting a second job within 2 weeks (interview next friday) so its not like it would be impossible for me to make it.

As for the argument, there is no way in hell she will stand for it. Just do it, and slowly try and point out all the positive sides to you moving out.

:rofl:

I'm sorry Dave, but I sorta get a kick out of this. You're what, 23 and your mom doesnt think you're old enough to move out?! Most parents are trying to kick their kids out at that age. I would sit your mom and straight up tell her shes gotta let go dude. Bad decision or not (I dont think it is), you are old enough to make them yourself. Besides, a 15 month lease aint shit more than a 12 month, if you can make a 12 month you can make a 15 month. How much is it? It would be totally different if you were getting a $500/month college kid pad or a $1500/month pent house. I think you're a smart dude though, I bet you've been over the "this is what I'm making, this is what I'm spending" shit before.

I guess the bottom line is you dont need anything else to say. Also, you gotta be understanding with her through this. Dont let her win by any means, but dont start kicking and screaming and whining like a little punk bitch when she doesnt like the appartment. I've seen this a bajillion times between my friends and their parents, best thing you can be is calm, but firm. Its really kind of amazing what "being the bigger person" does between parent and kid... they definately gain more respect for you and your decisions and it will show her you have the maturity level needed to make it in the real world.

EDIT: My parents told me that I could stay with them as long as I was A) in school and B) on break from school. As soon as I am not in school either by drop out or graduation or if I were to go to school here in town I would have to pay rent to stay here. And yes, your mom is right, the economy sucks right now and will continue to suck worse for the next few months or year(s) but I dont think that should keep you from moving out.

:rofl:
Its really kind of amazing what "being the bigger person" does between parent and kid... they definately gain more respect for you and your decisions and it will show her you have the maturity level needed to make it in the real world.

Doctor Phil? What are you doing on AF? LMFAO:icon16:



But really ,Dustin hit it on the head. Couldm't have put it in better words than that. Show her you are going to do it, but don't be nasty about it.

7 years, 5 months, 13 days, 14 hours and 6 minutes til my freedom (last kid gets the boot) :icon16:

life on the flip side :lol:

someone already beat me to the telescope comment :(

-I'll be 23 in May...
-I've been at my job for 7 months. Made ~$20k in that time
-Bachelors degree in computers... I can get any job I want
-Been working since 16
-Have so many connections to other jobs it's unbelievable. One of my co-workers wife works for American Airlines as a web designer and they're always looking for backend php/sql designers. That's me. I'd be making more than here but I like the beer aspect.
-I'm not going anywhere with the job. They love me here. I'm the best designer they've ever had and stuff gets done. Actually got got a positive mark on my record because of the new site. Owner loves it and praised it to no end.
-No student loans
-It's $825 plus electric a month
-I did my budget and we discussed it and she thinks I wouldn't have enough, but I'm clearly in the green from every angle with it.

I've been calm about the whole thing. We've been actually talking. Yeah we get loud at times and then she starts crying and then it gets stepped down a notch again. I'm taking it and that's it. She's mad because I haven't looked around at all besides online. Well, when you see something you know that it works perfectly fine, you take it.

If its the one, then take it. In case you weren't able to make it, then I'm sure they would take you back in. I think you can make it dave, but here's something to thnk about.
How much is your cell phone bill a month?
How much would it be for cable/internet/elec?
Transportation cost?
Leasure activities ie. booze, parties, etc?

If its the one, then take it. In case you weren't able to make it, then I'm sure they would take you back in. I think you can make it dave, but here's something to thnk about.
How much is your cell phone bill a month?
How much would it be for cable/internet/elec?
Transportation cost?
Leasure activities ie. booze, parties, etc?

This was all in my budget plan. I do these at work all the time, so i've got all aspects lol
-Cell: $40 now, but will up to unlimited internet since I use a Smartphone and teather to my computer for the internet. Then I don't need a house phone or pay for separate internet. So will be $80-90
-No cable for now, internet see above
-Transportation, I don't drive too much. Like $10 a week on gas and $10-20 a week for bus
-Leasure comes last. I don't spend too much when I go out and I won't go out and spend if I dont have it.
-Everything is worked in too, like renters insurance, car insurance, car repairs, food... it's all good. I've got all angles taken care of. Obviously I wouldn't be able to do much on the car, but I'm willing to sacrifice that. My pad is more important than a fast car.

My pad is more important than a fast car.

Whoa Whoa Whoa, did you just say that you want to get kicked in the balls? LOL, well hey man its all good. I planned to build my own house by the time I were to turn 24. I guess I'm down to 3 years left in order to accomplish my dreams.

***EDIT***
Using your cell is pretty damn good. Smart thinking, i think you would be more than fine man. I was just trying to make sure you had everything else factored in.

First, your are too old to still be living at home.
Second why would you move across the street and pay over 800 dollars.
Third, buy a house man then you aren't throwing your money away on rent every month. Buy a smaller house and get a 30 year mortgage and then fix it up a little and then sell it down the road and basically live for free or even make money.

First, your are too old to still be living at home.
Second why would you move across the street and pay over 800 dollars.
Third, buy a house man then you aren't throwing your money away on rent every month. Buy a smaller house and get a 30 year mortgage and then fix it up a little and then sell it down the road and basically live for free or even make money.

Man, this guy is a bussiness person. You could actually make money off of that, but then i again house sales are down the drain.

First, your are too old to still be living at home.
Second why would you move across the street and pay over 800 dollars.
Third, buy a house man then you aren't throwing your money away on rent every month. Buy a smaller house and get a 30 year mortgage and then fix it up a little and then sell it down the road and basically live for free or even make money.

Ive thought of a condo or a house. But, I'm young, little credit, and not a long work history at my current job. PLUS property tax around here is very high and keep going up higher. I won't be able to afford that yet. The place is cheep enough where I keep saving though, so then I can get a place a little later.

It's not right across the street. Right now I live 3 house down the block off of a busy street. The apartment is across the busy street, and between the block im on and the next one facing the other way. You technically can't see it from the house, or even from the busy street for that matter. 800 is an extremely good price for around here also. 1 room studios are going for $1000+, and this place has everything I need.

800 is an extremely good price for around here also. 1 room studios are going for $1000+, and this place has everything I need.

Holy Shit! For a 2 bed 2 bath and garage its $850.!

Holy Shit! For a 2 bed 2 bath and garage its $850.!

Ya. This is the city of Chicago we're talking about here. Not farmland. Prices are a little higher in these counties around here.

EDIT: And hey, this is a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, and car port. Close enough right?

Ya. This is the city of Chicago we're talking about here. Not farmland. Prices are a little higher in these counties around here.



That's actually not all that bad.

Ya. This is the city of Chicago we're talking about here. Not farmland. Prices are a little higher in these counties around here.

EDIT: And hey, this is a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, and car port. Close enough right?

Sounds lihe a steal dave.

Are you going to get a room mate? I think its dumb as hell to have a 2 bedroom to yourself, but thats just me...

Yeah, it sounds like you're in plenty good shape to me, particularly if you can get a roomie. If you made 20g's in 7 months, thats about $2800 a month... I dont care who you are if you cant live on 2g's a month after rent theres something fucked up with you, atleast a single dude in Dave's econimic situation.

Oh, as for buying a house. I defintely think there is some merit in that advice, but not for someone just moving out.

Are you going to get a room mate? I think its dumb as hell to have a 2 bedroom to yourself, but thats just me...

Yeah, it sounds like you're in plenty good shape to me, particularly if you can get a roomie. If you made 20g's in 7 months, thats about $2800 a month... I dont care who you are if you cant live on 2g's a month after rent theres something fucked up with you, atleast a single dude in Dave's econimic situation.

Oh, as for buying a house. I defintely think there is some merit in that advice, but not for someone just moving out.

It'll just be me living there. I specifically want a 2 bedroom, one for me, the other for my music crap. I'm going to have my drums, guitars, bass, PA, everything all setup in there and probably get a studio desk and computer and do everything right there. I hate having wires all over my room so having a separate music room is perfect because I can loom all the wire up and make it more permanent. Plus I can have people over to jam with them. However, if I needed a roommate, I can get one in a matter of days (like if I lost my job or something).

Also, I basically have no neighbors besides the actual business, but they close at like 5 M-F anyways. So I can play loud and get no complaints. The "music room" has no windows, just a skylite so it'll be nice and quiet.

All mothers are like that. Mine pulled the same crap even though I was in the same position as you. My dad was right there with my mom about it too, so that made it hard for me to get out. I simply put my foot down on the matter and moved out regardless of what they said. Now in some cases that would leave things in a sore matter, but in my case it was good. I couldn't stand my parents and they couldn't stand me anymore, yet they still didn't want me to leave. We actually got along better than we ever have once I moved out and because of that, they were very understanding in letting me move back home once things went sour between the ex and I... Now I will be going through the same crap again when I try to move out again. Which now, I am smart enough to realize how much money I can save up by living at home. I pretty much have everything and anything I need to furnish my own place, but I am working on getting the Cobalt completely paid off and get some money saved up for those "what if" situations... Of course this time I won't be so foolish into getting an apartment with a woman I can't trust as far as I can throw...

So I guess my advice is to just move out and be done with it. Like said before, we are 23 years old and should not be living at home anymore. We are grown men who can take care of ourselves and need to prove so. You know you got my support man. lol

You wanna talk to my mom for me Bri? lol.

That's pretty much what I'm going to do. I'm going to put my foot down and do it. I'm not letting this one get away. She want to not talk to me again if I do, then so be it. I'm right around the corner and shit. The guy has yet to call back about seeing it again tonight. He better soon.

There's too many adults at home (all 4 of us) and I need to get out of there. I can't stand the loudness all the time and especially in the morning. I have to have my quiet.

At least my Dad is on my side. That's rare, but I need it.

You wanna talk to my mom for me Bri? lol.
Suuure, I'll just lay the ol' pipe to her and then I'll she'll do anything I ask. :thumbsup: :wink:

You definitely need to move out dude. The only reason I will have a bedroom at my house when I'm 23 is because I'm still in school, other than that I'll be on my own. I think what helps alot of kids moving out on their own is going to school and actually HAVING to move out of the house, it helps the parents. I know when I moved to Nebraska for school, my mom called like 5 times a day for the first week or two and then it slowly died off to a couple times a week. It'll take time for them to adjust, and even right when you move out they'll probably still bug the shit out of you for a few weeks, but they'll eventually get used to it and life will go back to normal.

You have no reason NOT to move out. You've got a fairly solid job in which you make more than some people who are 40+, which should be more than enough to pay your bills. The only thing is if I was you, I'd be moving a little farther away, at least like across town or something. If I lived within walking distances of my parents, my mom would have her nose in my business more than she does now.

I can see it now.
"Dave, did you have a party lastnight? I saw about 14 cars outside your place. You know Dave, you can't be partying all the time, especially with your job. You've got bills to pay and partying is not one of those necessary bills." Haha. :lol:

I can see it now.
"Dave, did you have a party lastnight? I saw about 14 cars outside your place. You know Dave, you can't be partying all the time, especially with your job. You've got bills to pay and partying is not one of those necessary bills." Haha. :lol:

HAHA. Ya well that's my business, not hers. The thing is, there's only one car port, everyone else would have to park on the street going down the block. I'd be living inbetween the blocks, so you would never know it was me :D

Suuure, I'll just lay the ol' pipe to her and then I'll she'll do anything I ask. :thumbsup: :wink:

Oh and Brian, normally I would throw something back at you... but do what you need to.

Do work son!

Dave, dont you have a chick that would move in and help with the bills?

As for the party thing, the way I see it is you are old enough to make your own decisions... if your mom sees that you had a party and doesnt approve then thats fine, but if a 23 year old dude wants to have a fucking party, he should be able to have a fucking party.

David listen to me !!

Its your life, you created your own like and live with it, no body can tell you how to live your life !! you understand ? go with what you think is right.

Do work son!

Dave, dont you have a chick that would move in and help with the bills?

As for the party thing, the way I see it is you are old enough to make your own decisions... if your mom sees that you had a party and doesnt approve then thats fine, but if a 23 year old dude wants to have a fucking party, he should be able to have a fucking party.

I do have a chick, but she's not moving in. She's still in school and she has her own apartment basically a block away from school. We agreed that she wouldn't move in until school finished. Plus, I don't want to rely on other people to be there.

Well she seen the apartment this evening and she really liked it. Asked a bunch of questions, got to know the landlord pretty good and went through the place top to bottom. She likes it. A lot bigger than what she expected. She didn't want to talk about anything after that, but she came home in a good mood and was normal for once. We're going to talk on Saturday and figure it all out. But she was talking about making curtains and everything already. Again, it's my choice in the end though. Hell I would move in tomorrow if it wasn't going to be 7 degrees.

I ended up moving out to another city and I'm 19. Being young, and having an Asian mother, I basically had a chain locked around my ankle until I inherited the house. She didn't want me to go, but my dad was extremely supportive. My defence: "Mother, I own two cars that I believe should be garaged at all times. You can have the garage back if I moved out. Also, you can go back to using your alarm clock to wake you up, instead of my car rattling your house at 6:00am!"

I won the battle, but now I'm hardly making enough for payments, despite having a good paying job. I couldn't stand my household at all.. but if I have to withstand my mother's lectures for a month, I'll gladly buy car parts with the money I've saved up. I've just developed more of a.. "social" life to keep me out of the house. Good luck with everything!

Dude, not to be an as or anything, but how the hell will your mom not let you move out.. my mom offered to let me and 2 friends share a house my senior year if i keep my grades up (wouldnt really have to pay for rent thought so its all good) but man, your 23.. I dont know where you live, but in Nebraska, if you live with your parents when your 23, something aint right.. or you just moved back from college xD.. but then your room was turned into the new computer office o.O

Hey dave, just go for it. All this babble about how we should be outta here by the time we're 18 is making me want to leave. All I know is that when you throw a big ass party and I come over straight from f*cking FL you better have a place for me to stay.:thumbsup:

Ok we talked again today. She had the apartment fresh in her head. Basically she thinks I shouldn't take it. But my dad told her it's my choice, and I'm just looking for her blessings. She doesn't like it, and said think about it. Still thinks I'm too young, under prepared... all that jazz.

Monday, I'm calling and taking it. I'm going out tomorrow and picking up some stuff, like forks & knives. If you want to contribute to the Dave's Place fund you can. I'm hoping to be in by next weekend. Supposed to get 6 inches of snow on Monday so won't happen though, but hoping to sign the papers then. So I win.

Waht can we contribute, nothing good or usefull I would think.

I moved out at 18 for school but im pretty sure ill be living in a different state over the summer too so ur fully capable of living by urself, and ya as soon as you move out shell get used to it.

Waht can we contribute, nothing good or usefull I would think.
He wants a framed picture of me to put up on his wall. lol :lol:

He wants a framed picture of me to put up on his wall. lol :lol:
:puke:

All that pitally stuff like forks and knifes will end up costing alot, you'll be suprised. Stuff you don't think about like dishes, pans, stuff to clean them w/, bathroom stuff like shampoo and conditioner, wash clothes, soap and stuff even to clean the toilet. Then theres stuff like a broom, mop, dust pan, garbage bags, garbage cans, laundry baskets. You'll also need laundry soap and dish soap and a vacuum, and then the most important thing is of course food. Food will run you the most. Once you have everything all it takes from then on is maintaining your supply it just takes alot up front to get everything. Before my wife and I moved in w/ each other, a month before we went down to Walmart and put everything we needed on layaway that way when the time came all we had to do is pay it off and we will have everything we needed. Thought I'd help you out how ever I can.

Ned nailed it. I've been living off one bowl of fruit salad a day and one load of laundry for the first month lol. As for forks and such, I ended up stealing some from my parents when they weren't looking :uhoh:

He wants a framed picture of me to put up on his wall. lol :lol:

Was that a gay comment?:icon16: LOL, that was funny.




All that pitally stuff like forks and knifes will end up costing alot, you'll be suprised.

I think they're right. I've been gorocery shoppiong several times and man that shit can get expensive real quick.

For a family of 4 here at home, we usually spend $200+. A lot of it is stuff that we don't need also. I know all that bathroom stuff and stuff like above is going to cost. As much as I hate Wal-Mart, they do have great prices on stuff like that. Like wash clothes, towels, and dish towels, 3 for $5.

I signed the lease this evening. I start moving in next Monday 1/28. It's all mine!!!!!

Nice! Have fun with it dude.

Get some photos of the place!

Sweet man, fucking rightous. Have fun and post up some pics.

He wants a framed picture of me to put up on his wall. lol :lol:

Sorry Dave, I was gonna bring a keg and and some shot glasses for your new place and build you a nice small bar, but Brian there just killed it. :disappoin

Sorry Dave, I was gonna bring a keg and and some shot glasses for your new place and build you a nice small bar, but Brian there just killed it. :disappoin
No I didn't! Let's both go put a bar in for him. We'll make it a father son kind of project. :lol:

No I didn't! Let's both go put a bar in for him. We'll make it a father son kind of project. :lol:

I'm not going to stop you two. Build me a bar and call it a day. Oh, and it needs to be stocked up.

Is this one of the pics of Brian thats suppose to be attracking all the ladies to our forum???

If it works out maybe the ladies might sworm around Dave's appartment...

Is this one of the pics of Brian thats suppose to be attracking all the ladies to our forum???

If it works out maybe the ladies might sworm around Dave's appartment...

It won't be Brians pic that draws them around.

It won't be Brians pic that draws them around.
Your right...








It'll be my stunning good looks, smooth moves, and pornstar "attributes". :p

No I didn't! Let's both go put a bar in for him. We'll make it a father son kind of project. :lol:

Sure, and you'll get beat down like a red headed step child. :lol2:

Actually Ithe first project I let one of my knuckle heads 'help' with went pretty smooth, I was building a storage rack for my garage and let him do the drilling after my wife insisted to let him do something. Pre thought was i was going to end up killing him, but I was actually impressed.

I'd be more than happy to build ya a bar Dave, but you better have one big apartment. :iceslolan

I'd be more than happy to build ya a bar Dave, but you better have one big apartment. :iceslolan

It's not that big, plus I have a bar already planned out in my head. I really don't have the space for one, just by the way the place is laid out. When I get a bigger place I'll build one. Until then, just keeping the fridge stocked.

Sure, and you'll get beat down like a red headed step child. :lol2:

LOL, that was good man. Pictures, booze, how cook outs on the weekend dave?

Pictures, booze, how cook outs on the weekend dave?

English? Is that a "Gee Dave, are you going to have cook outs on the weekends?" lol If so then yes.

English? Is that a "Gee Dave, are you doing to have cook outs on the weekends?" lol If so then yes.

Gotcha, look at what you wrote? Was it supposed to say going? LOL

Lately, i can't type worth a shit. Don't know why though, i guess i'm not the only one that noticed:icon16:

I type signs all day. So give me some credit here.

Hey, its all good. No shame in that man. Just trying to keep busy, I'm bored at work.

Hey, its all good. No shame in that man. Just trying to keep busy, I'm bored at work.

Switch jobs with me and you'll never be bored these past couple weeks. Super Bowl needs to be over with, and the Blackhawks Ice Girls need to NOT shake their booty all over town. And Goose Island needs to NOT do pub quizzes. That's all I'm making. I'm stressed.

and the Blackhawks Ice Girls need to NOT shake their booty all over town..

:eek2:

I beg to differ.

:eek2:

I beg to differ.

Well I mean its a good thing, but when they're going to be at 64 locations across Chicago and I have to make signs for every single one of them, it gets annoying, expensive, and time consuming.