2000 Impala LS wont start

My 2001 Impala LS with 140000 wont start. when I tried to start car, radio made funny noises like static, and the MIL lights started going through all the lights from check engine to low tire pressure to battery low to door ajar, and all needles on dash went crazy. Would not even try to roll over. Acted like no juice from battery. It kept doing this. The keyless remote doesnt work. when I try to use the keyless remote, a muffled buzz comes from the fuse box under the hood. Any ideas? We have had problems with the passlock before, think its the same again? Please someone answer. :banghead:

You have a battery with a dead short in it. I had a 72 month battery do the exact same thing in less then two years.

First of all, thanks for a reply. So you think a new battery will do the trick?

yes