game: 186 [objects] walk into a bar

Originally posted by jay@af
So change it. Just ask anyone around you, or any random person on AIM, etc. for an everyday object. :p

Nah, I was just saying "meh" cuz I thought my last one was pretty weak, even for a groaner...

I really like this thread though!

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "URINE asshole!"

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "If you don't give us some beer, we'll tell everyone that you never wash your hands after using us!"

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "Damn! We get pissed on by everyone!"

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "I hope you remember denying us service the next time you come to our place of business! We'll splatter you with pee droplets!"

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "Perhaps you have some breathmints that we could have then?"

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "Look barkeep... We've all seen your 'unit', and if you don't serve us, we'll be forced to reveal your dirty little secret (wink wink, nod nod)"

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "we're just STALLing for time..."

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "URINALot of trouble mister!"

I think ci5ic sumed up this object for us! :(

Originally posted by ci5ic

186 urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve urinals here."
So the urinals say, "URINE asshole!"


Now, THAT'S funny! :D :D :D :p

Originally posted by Damien
I think ci5ic sumed up this object for us! :( LOL, yeah!! :finger: Stop hogging all the good ones! :p

:finger:

How about next object: pants

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "It SEAMS we're not welcome..."

186 pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants began to tear......

:rolleyes:

Originally posted by jay@af
What do you do with a urinal? :huh:
If I walked into a mens urinal I could guarantee that I would see an ass or two! :finger: (whether it's clothed or not is another story. :p ). I would assume I'm correct in that guys stand up and face the wall??? :finger:

186 pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say “That’s OK, I’ll make it short"



:finger: to Jay just in case. :D

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "We're cargo pants... We'll take some beer to go then..."

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "button up! We'll drink beer wherever we damn well please!"

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "I've been pissed before, but I'm really pissed now!"

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "This might come to fistiCUFFS"

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "Don't be SHORT with us!"

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "This is utter mayHEM"

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "Is it because we bring FLY's with us?"

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "Well, that's a WAIST!"

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "Hey! The sign says 'no shirt no shoes...' doesn't say squat about pants!" :sun:

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "Then can we have a piece of CORD OR ROY will be upset?"

(Pants could be named Roy... :silly: )

Originally posted by jay@af
186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "Then can we have a piece of CORD OR ROY will be upset?"

(Pants could be named Roy... :silly: )

This is without a doubt a groaner... But for some reason, I'm laughing really hard!

Originally posted by ci5ic
This is without a doubt a groaner... But for some reason, I'm laughing really hard! That's why the Groaner Foul has been suspended for the duration of this game. :coolguy:

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "DEN I'M gonna get outta here!"

(All 186 pairs of pants said that individualy; that's why it's not plural... :finger: )

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "ZIP it!!!"

I think this topic is exhausted... How about COMPUTERS?

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "We don't BYTE..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "BIT of a dissapointment, that."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "We'll be MONITORED..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Just wanted a BIT to drink..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "We can DRIVE to another bar"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Where's the LOGIC in that?"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "OK, I’ll go somewhere else to get a byte to eat then!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "But it was such a hard drive to get here!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "11001101; 01011011; 00101110; 01010110; 01101010; 10101001!"

Silly bastards! :silly:

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "That's cool, we're going home to CRASH anyways"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Get off our CASE!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Shoot! We were hoping for some CHIPS with our beer too..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "www.screwyoupal.com"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Don't piss us off, or we'll STACK DUMP on your bar!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "I'm sorry, we can not allow you to interfere with our mission, Dave" -- HAL9000 :sun:

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "We've already been to all the other bars... We're just making a CIRCUIT"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "That's okay, we'll WORM our way outta here."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, ".GIF us a chance!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "I guess we'll just .MOV on..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "What kinda PROGRAM are you runnin' here?!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Please insert the disk labeled BAR V2.0"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "We'll just UPGRADE to another bar."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Fine then, you can RAM your stupid bar up your ass"



:finger:

Originally posted by jay@af
186 British urinals walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve British urinals here."
So the British urinals say, "Eh, wot? You're just taking the PISS, eh?"

(same word as tazdev; different context. :p)

:lol2:

CHEAT:D

LATE PANTS ENTRY:D

186 pairs of pants walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve pants here."
So the pants say, "I guess we'll have to LEG it to the next bar then"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Fine then, you're gonna have to DEFRAGMENT your face when we're through with you!!!"

186 computers walk into a bar.very slowly.;)

http://www.old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?c=528

Originally posted by taranaki
186 computers walk into a bar.very slowly.;)

http://www.old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?c=528 Even with the pic I'm :confused:

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "You've just made a FATAL ERROR!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Dammit! ACCESS DENIED Again?!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "DRIVE NOT READY. RETRY FAIL?"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Could you make an EXCEPTION AT ADDRESS 1FG3A3?"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Do you mind if we wait for the BUS here at this ADDRESS?"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Fine, you've got a SCSI bar anyways!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Well, we don't want to RISQ your job..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Sorry buddy, but your gonna hafta throw us out the WINDOWS if you want us to leave!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Oops. Didn't mean to ENTER this bar..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "I heard you, but it didn't REGISTER"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "We'll PLOT a course to a new bar..."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers SING, "I/O, I/O, it's off to drink we go!" :sun:

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't ----."
So the computers INTERUPT, "REQUEST permission to stay."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "You didn't even CARD us!"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "We just want a carafe of PORT."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "What kind of SETUP is this?"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Fine, then where's a fruit stand? We want some APPLEs."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "Fine! This place looks so dirty we're afraid we might catch a VIRUS."

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "So you're giving us the BOOT?"

186 computers walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve computers here."
So the computers say, "You can expect some HaTe MaiL."

:p

Okay, here's the tally so far...

Jay: 22
Ci5ic: 66
TazDev: 11
Replicant: 2
BoredRec: 5
Moss-man: 5
Damien: 8
Mr. T.: 4
Darkness: 5
Spec2: 5

:D

Originally posted by ci5ic
Okay, here's the tally so far...

Ci5ic: 66
:eek: You’re scaring me! :uhoh:

:hehehe: :p

Well, if I only counted the ones that were actually funny, I think I'd have a much lower total... :silly2:

Let's try: clock :p

Originally posted by ci5ic
Well, if I only counted the ones that were actually funny, I think I'd have a much lower total... :silly2: The fact that you can think of so many so quickly is scary! :p :D

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "You really TICK us off when you TOCK to us like that!"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "Sorry, we're a bit SLOW, what did you say?"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "Give us a MINUTE and we'll leave..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "Hey everyone, let's give this bartender a BIG HAND for being such a stupendous jerk!"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "Oh, c'mon, we promise not to get all WOUND up..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "On SECOND HAND, this bar looks like a dive, we'll leave..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "We know HOUR rights!"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "We just wanted to HANG out for a while"

Originally posted by ci5ic
Okay, here's the tally so far...

Jay: 22
Ci5ic: 66
TazDev: 11
Replicant: 2
BoredRec: 5
Moss-man: 5
Damien: 8
Mr. T.: 4
Darkness: 5
Spec2: 5

:D

You are the king man.:D

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "We dare you to say that to our FACEs"

* why does it always have to be 186 [objects]?! *

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "You must be COOKOO if you think we're gonna leave without some brew!"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "We'll be baaaack, you just WATCH!"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "We just want a few QUARTZ of beer..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "Well, you make it CRYSTAL clear that we're not wanted here..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "You're so SET in your ways!"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "That's ALARMing..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "That's cool, we'll go home and SNOOZE..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "I suppose we'll have to CLOCK OUT..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "Well, Hickory Dickory Dock to you!"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "IV got a feeling we should leave..."

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "That's ALARMing, our GRANDFATHER said this is a great place to UNWIND pass the TIME."

Figured I'd extend Ci5ic's response...

Originally posted by BoredRec
186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "That's ALARMing, our GRANDFATHER said this is a great place to UNWIND pass the TIME."

Figured I'd extend Ci5ic's response...

I was trying to figure out how to work in GRANDFATHER, and you did 4 puns in one punchline. Very nicely done!

Originally posted by ci5ic


I was trying to figure out how to work in GRANDFATHER, and you did 4 puns in one punchline. Very nicely done!

I figured since you usually do 4 or 5 of them, I'd be different and try to cram them all in one line...now if I can only figure out how to use Rolex...

WTF!?! Ci5ic and Jay are taking them all before I get to post! :(

Originally posted by Damien
WTF!?! Ci5ic and Jay are taking them all before I get to post! :(

Quick on the draw, I thought I'd be dead.
He put the gun to my head, and this is what he said:
Now, my name is MCA, I got a license to kill,
I think you know what time it is... It's time to get ill!

Now what do we have here, a convict and his beer?
I run this land, you understand? I make myself clear?
He stepped into the wind, he had a gun, and had a grin...
You think this story's over, but it's ready to begin!

Sorry, after "quick on the draw", I had to qoute some more...

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "Hey buddy you are really beging to TICK me off"


186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the computers say, "don't be ALARMED this is a stick up"

Originally posted by ci5ic


Quick on the draw, I thought I'd be dead.
He put the gun to my head, and this is what he said:
Now, my name is MCA, I got a license to kill,
I think you know what time it is... It's time to get ill!

Now what do we have here, a convict and his beer?
I run this land, you understand? I make myself clear?
He stepped into the wind, he had a gun, and had a grin...
You think this story's over, but it's ready to begin!

Sorry, after "quick on the draw", I had to qoute some more...

"Now I got the gun - you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me" I said, I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border
The sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this - I did it like that
I did it with a whiffleball bat
So I'm on the run - the cop's got my gun
And right about now - it's time to have some fun
The King Adrock - that is my name
And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne."
We rode for six hours the we hit the spot
The beat was a bumping and the girlies was hot
This dude was staring like he knows who we are
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar
M.C.A. said, "Yo, you know this kid?"
I said, "I didn't." - but I know he did
The kid said, "Get ready cause this ain't funny
My name's Mike D. and I'm about to get money."
Pulled out the jammy - aimed it at the sky
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" - and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor
He wasted two kids that ran for the door
"I'm Mike D. and I get respect
Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect"
M.C.A. was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face
The piano player's out - the music stopped
His boy had beef - and he got dropped
Mike D. grabbed the money - M.C.A. snatched the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold. "


Beastie boys
:smoker2:

Old Skool

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "You shithead are you trying to WIND us up"

186 clocks walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve clocks here."
So the clocks say, "Haven't we totally exhausted this object yet? How bout not serve Handjobs?."

186 handjobs walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve handjobs here."
So the handjobs say, "Are you trying to JERK us around?"

186 handjobs walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve handjobs here."
So the handjobs say, "Don't RUB us the wrong way!"

186 handjobs walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve handjobs here."
So the handjobs say, "How bout if you serve my MONKEY instead?"

186 handjobs walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve handjobs here."
So the handjobs say, "That's OK, we only wanted to play a game of POCKET POOL."

Originally posted by tazdev


"Now I got the gun - you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me" I said, I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border
The sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this - I did it like that
I did it with a whiffleball bat
So I'm on the run - the cop's got my gun
And right about now - it's time to have some fun
The King Adrock - that is my name
And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne."
We rode for six hours the we hit the spot
The beat was a bumping and the girlies was hot
This dude was staring like he knows who we are
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar
M.C.A. said, "Yo, you know this kid?"
I said, "I didn't." - but I know he did
The kid said, "Get ready cause this ain't funny
My name's Mike D. and I'm about to get money."
Pulled out the jammy - aimed it at the sky
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" - and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor
He wasted two kids that ran for the door
"I'm Mike D. and I get respect
Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect"
M.C.A. was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face
The piano player's out - the music stopped
His boy had beef - and he got dropped
Mike D. grabbed the money - M.C.A. snatched the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold. "


Hell yes! It's good to know that at least one person picked up on that! Whenever I'm listening to the Beasties, I always change all the Mike D's to Mike T's (that's me)... Just for fun.




Anyways, "handjobs" doesn't fit any qualifications for being an [object]. It's more of an action kinda... But "pricks" would work just fine with your jokes.

CAMERAS

186 cameras walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve cameras here."
So the cameras say, "You had better watch out because I'm about to SNAP."

186 cameras walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve cameras here."
So the cameras say, "I can see a situation DEVELOPING here."

186 cameras walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve cameras here."
So the cameras say, "Then we will EXPOSE you as the fraud that you are."

186 cameras walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve cameras here."
So the cameras say, "Why the fuck not!."

186 cameras walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve cameras here."
So the cameras say, "CLICK."