Official AF Joke Thread

^^^bahahaha!!

what do a hooker and a bowling ball have in common??


they're both picked up, fingered, and then banged down an alley!

If you are sad, sit on the rock, remove your shoes and smell your socks.. :D

Hmmm, another thread back from the dead


What did the egg say to the boiling water?







It may take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To suck my dick.

^^ that was pretty lame

What's made for a woman but only strong enough for a man?

http://thumb15.webshots.net/s/thumb1/7/44/21/196074421pKcUva_th.jpg (http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/1196074421058905735pKcUva)

Alright, let's chill out a little.

Jokes are one thing, abusive ones is another.

Whats worse than 10 babies stapled to 1 tree?

1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

This is what i like in this forum, aside from good members there are a lot of members here that has a good sense of humor. when i fel board i laways visit this thread. Really make my day lol.

Babies stapled to a tree made your day? The hells wrong with you?!?!?!?!? lol

Whats the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini....... I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

Knock knock

How many letters are in the alphabet?

19 because ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.

i just found this thread and ^^^wow that was funny!:rofl::rofl::rofl:

An elderly couple in a small town had been dating for a long time. At the
urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation on
how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements
and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of
their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked.
"Well,"she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say - I would like
it infrequently." The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his
glasses, he looked her in the eye and asked








"Is that one word or two?"


Lol i like that one dude, hmmm i could never imagine how does it feel.. :D

Last week was my birthday and I didn`t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that`s marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn`t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o`clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It`s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that`s the greatest thing I`ve heard all day. Let`s go!" We went to lunch. But we didn`t go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It`s such a beautiful day... We don`t need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let`s drop by my apartment, it`s just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don`t mind, I`m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I`ll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".

And I just sat there... On the couch... Sobbing... Naked... and erect.

Last week was my birthday and I didn`t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that`s marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn`t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o`clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It`s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that`s the greatest thing I`ve heard all day. Let`s go!" We went to lunch. But we didn`t go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It`s such a beautiful day... We don`t need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let`s drop by my apartment, it`s just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don`t mind, I`m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I`ll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".

And I just sat there... On the couch... Sobbing... Naked... and erect.

:rofl:

The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner

Here's a little factoid for automotive buffs or just to dazzle your friends.

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti- Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

I can hear your groans from here.

What do you call a hybrid between a bulldog and a shih tzu?