The Official AF "Quote" Thread

Ok members, lets try something new.

Post up your favorite AF quote that you have gathered in here.
Not only would we keep them in one place but we won't have to have so many in our sigs. Consider it a Best oF AF thread but in quotes. :lol:

Note: You may or may not want to give a brief lead up to the quote so the quote makes sense. :)
You can also include external quotes from AOL/Yahoo IMs etc.
Only rule: No quotes flaming other members or mods. If so, post will be deleted.

Okay I'll start.

lead up: I'm updating and adding new sections throughout AF and one of them is the AMC/Rambler/Nash/IH section, which leads to this...


Oooh, I just noticed something, though... You mis-spelled Nash. You have it with an "H" so it says "Hash". That might attract the wrong crowd :grinyes:

:lol:
TS out

Edit:
after much consideration, as of June 27th, 2006 no more quotes outside of AF will be allowed in this thread. Those already within the thread stay, any new ones will be deleted.

Not exactly a quote.. but its funny.. well yeah it is a quote so it'll go here..

:icon16:

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/1412/tssig9nc.jpg

It was actually this time last year. A certain member said something about another member and they found out. I won't go into details as it was a touchy subject. Right before the thread got closed though I heard this and just died in tears.

youra pussy dude u talk shit and claim u can kick someones ass but then u say if you lose your gunna have them arrested what a fucking pussy. dude let me get u a tube of Vagasil to go along w/ that vagina

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:

It still kills me to this day.

My favorite has got to be this one from the Subaru Impreza forum:


I know just about every-thing there is to know ask a question and i'll answer. I can tell you anything from cylinder specs ( 99.5 mm bore, 79 mm stroke, 9.7 compression ratio on 2.0 L )

What makes it my favorite is in his display of 'knowing everything' he lists incorrect info on the 2.0L engine :screwy:

When a guy that was wanting to change his own oil asked how to drain the old oil out. He was told that the drain plug was on the rear of the oil pan. After a week of trying to explain it's location to him, a member posted this:


You pull the dipstick out, you put the dipstick in, you pull the dipstick out, and you shake it all about, you do the hoke pokey and you turn yourself around, thats what its all about.

Give me a break-------GOTO AUTOZONE, GRAB THE DELIQUINT BEHIND THE COUNTER AND ASK HIM WHERE THE OIL PAN IS.

This unfortunately was one of my own but funny still. I was talking about the car feeling and handling different after I put ttops in my Camaro.

its stiff still but when you really get on it you can feel it flex a little more than i would like....

It was actually this time last year. A certain member said something about another member and they found out. I won't go into details as it was a touchy subject. Right before the thread got closed though I heard this and just died in tears.

Bleh...that guy was a jackass.

AF: Git 'er done.

:gives:

:lol2:

AMC/Rambler/Hash/IH section

Well hell, it got my attention.

I personally would like to see any lawmaker who has ties to any law that allows a municipality confiscate and sell or kill your car, strung up by their balls while Earl screws their wife, their children are caned, and I spend all their money on new tires for doing burnouts in their driveway as their house is engulfed in a nice raging fire with the AF crew roasting hotdogs and drinking beer on lawn chairs. Pricks.
O yeah.. classic.. Talking about local authorities confiscating street racers' cars

I bet he shifted into awesome to get there. :D

...referring to the presence of a 10th anniversary edition Datsun 280ZX in a posh concours show

From my "Google protecting our porno rights" thread.


ThatRoundHeadedKid, Josh, Oz, Raz_Kaz, imtheoneandonlyD, 2.2 Straight six, Rally Sport 92, ci5ic, TS, blindside.AMG, Damien, KustmAce, J_Swigz, elementskater15, Toksin, crayzayjay, vinnym86, Cyprus106, XeVeNskyLiNE, Neutrino, Steel, eversio11, sv650s, -Davo, dugie6551, jcsaleen, v10_viper, clawhammer, sivic02, RickwithaTbird, and me.

WHy am i first?

charlie brown there is number one...
...you see what happens if you're from jersey?
................

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Oh man that's good stuff right there.

Lol, they should charge her with Assault with a dead weapon.

reffering to a woman attacking another, with a dead chiuahahahahahahahaha

Talking about the classifieds section and the post about finding some lug nuts.
And John, for tonight anyways, I'm wet and ready:lol:

TS out

My big quote for this thread (take a deep breath, it's not short folks):

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girlfriend. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was while I was crouched down behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel well.

Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from the local auto shop and try to repair it myself?

Don't tell me you expected that...:grinno:

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girlfriend. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was while I was crouched down behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel well.

Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from the local auto shop and try to repair it myself?

i don't think it's the girl he should be worried about cheating.

i don't think it's the girl he should be worried about cheating.

Yeah I thought that was gunna be the funny thing about the quote.. im glad im not the only person who noticed that. :lol2:

Yeah I thought that was gunna be the funny thing about the quote.. im glad im not the only person who noticed that. :lol2:
hehe yeah. please tell me someone called him on that in w/e thread that came from..

hehe yeah. please tell me someone called him on that in w/e thread that came from..

Life changing decision - Your advice needed (http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=526396)

I am not sure if I have a wreckless driving record or not. And I am worried that it will exclude me from the sales positions I am applying for where a clean driving record is required.


typos always make for some fun reads

I don't have sex dreams. i just have sex.

one of my friends on the subject of sex dreams. and those times when you say too much.

i found it funny..

OK this race happend about a week ago. I have been waiting to post it hoping I could find someone who video taped it but... I can't. so here it goes.

As some of you know I have a few new goodies for the GN this summer.
Dual ball bearing TE-66. ported heads, ported intake, direct alcohol injection, Ice water to air intercooler.


Well here is the story....

I am in this intern program where I am at my internship for 8 weeks getting paid and then I am in classes for 8 weeks not getting paid(graduate in two weeks!!!) Well when I am in class, I worked for a dyno shop in Peoria IL. Well we have this really rich doctor in the area that just thows money at a new car every year. Last year he supercharged a z06 and this year it was a viper. Well I worked on the viper occoasionaly, put the roots blower on it, and some stuff here and their. It put 580 at the wheels.

Well his son... 17 year old kid, is the primary driver of these cars, we wil call him "silver spoon". I pulled up with the GN (after being in hibernation for a long time) and parked and I got out to say hi to some of the locals. Well as I was saying hi to a buddy of mine that had his new mach 1 out, "silver spoon" sends some 16 year old kid over to me asking if I was willing to put my GN up agenst his new STOCK viper..... I looked over and noticed the car. Stock my ass were the words out of my mouth..

Well I walk over there and he is leaning up agenst the car with his money grubing whore of a girlfriend.

Me: Don't piss down my back and tell me it's rain, who are you trying to kid this thing is stock?
Him: What? I just got this car.
Me: You mean you daddy just got this car back from the dyno shop.
Him: *blank look*
Me: I work up there little fella, I know what you have. I dynoed it.
Him: Well I always hear about you Buick, still think you have the balls to run with a boosted v-10
Me: You don't even have to ask that question.


We head out to the boon docks and we get lined up. His car sit's with 590 HP 8 PSI stock tires/suspension with a 17 year old driver. Mine sits with 520 HP 27 PSI ET drags (LOL slicks RULE) and a few suspension goodies.

Anyway we burned out and we are lined up and ready to go, we have a flagger in the middle of us and about 15 cars on each side. I am sitting on the brake with 13 PSI on the gauge waiting to be unleashed on the pavement. the flags go up and I give her a little more fuel. Flag goes down and I LAUNCH with 16 PSI trying to tear the tires up but the slicks just grab. The car starts to veer off to the left a bit and I try to countersteer but the front end is sooo light, the car will not turn. Meanwhile "Silver Spoon" is back there in that monster viper just tryin his little heart out. I was accually suprised by how well the viper hooked up, he kept me within two car lengths the whole race. When it was over, he simply picked up his sorry excuse for a GF and just told me in the most sinister voice a pretty rich boy can have. "Just enjoy it while you can, wait untill we get the smaller pulley and more boost." My reply was "OK tell you dad to call us when he gets it, I will put it on for him." After that he just drove away.

the morale of the story is.... Traction is the key. Spend some money on suspension and tires.


I should go paint a pair of fangs on the fenders of the GN :evillol:


was just surfing around and some how came across that hypsi was a great funny guy wish i could of known him better.

Members:

This thread will be heavily monitored and I will remove any quotes which flame members or moderators. As well as useless banter. It is only to post up your favorite quote.

TS out

I think i may have the world's only truck that has a clutch-less gearbox, with a clutch...

my friend, commenting on his truck's new gearbox.

Nothing wrong with wanking 10 times a day..

speaks for itself.

Talking about the classifieds section and the post about finding some lug nuts.
:lol:

TS out
To clear that up, it was edited by cuda_dude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FormulaLT1
Dude I go on the internet trust me I could find porn and as for getting a woman I don't know what I'm doing wrong , I think woman don't thinks its sexy when I email them sexy naked pictures of me in a tub of jello. Go figure


You need to read the whole thing here is the link to the thread

parts are real funny http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=245422&page=4&pp=15

Everyone is talking about drunken moments

Not drunken, but I once slept walked into my Grandfathers room while we were staying over there one christmas and proceded to use his bed as a urinal while him and wife were sleeping.

Okay I admit, what the guy did is stupid (riding a bike without a helmet), but to be honest, whats more stupid is that the state he lives in does not have a law saying you have to wear a helmet. That is the most stupidest thing I've heard.

TS out


smooth...

I just spent two hours with a Hydrolic man, blew a high pressure hose feeding the main Ram.

:rofl:

That's our Moppie!

There's no sand in my vagina !!

Does it even matter what the explanation for this is?:grinno:

Corrected dyno = 527 RWHP
Actual dyno = 435-440 RWHP (give or take, depending on conditions)


Because of where I live, I lose more power than rice(er) makes.

hahah.

People, Lets try not to quote yourself.

Carry on.

TS

I don't care how many miles the claim, reality is a cumbstion engine....
and
Wait, what's that, off in the distance? Is it a bird,? Is it a plane? NO, it's Quicksilver_28 with another random fucking post!!! :spit:
both of those were in the same post by wright

It started with:

they are just removin some skin, not like they are goin after the cojones.

Which resulted in:

Its a little more than just some skin. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
You clearly don't have a penis. .

In reaction to discussion over an 8 year old possibly having to get a circumcision

AIM convo about AF:

OoToksinoO: drama drama drama
Matty40000: yup
Matty40000: "As the Forum Turns"
OoToksinoO: LOL
OoToksinoO: "Threads of our Lives"


I shit you not, he made the LOL that big... damn near spit my drink out that the rediculously huge "LOL"

:spit:

digital film.

i hear it's hard to get hold of.

This is a quot from some guy who got banned for talking shit about girls driving camaro's. Don't remember what his name was, the one posted was unknown blabla

first off, telling me to take a 1 week break, so u can go and dis me behind my back prooves your a PUSSY!!!! so i will not debate that.

second off, just because i dont find girls driving camaros NORMAL doesn't mean im sexist. If you think thats normal, then maybe you like girls with chesthair and balls too.

and last calling me a prick behind ur computer somewhere when you think i can't see your talkin shit about me proves what a fuckin hick-ass shitbag you are! i'd fucking break your jaw and shove it down your throat right now if i was anywhere near your pussy ass. that goes for you too sk8tr YOU FUCKIN PUSSY! Tell me where the fuck you are and be man enuff to say that shit to my face.

as for erik, your a fuckin asshole ducsche bag, your not even man enuff to say shit to me straight up over ur fuckin computer from whatever hick-ass town u from. PUSSY! thats all i have to say. ban me now fuckin asswipe!

wow a race car worth 100 million (100000 * grand which i asume you meant 1000), that thing was either made of gold (traditional metal used in racing due to its low cost light weight properties) or Shumacher must be posting here after rolling his F1 car while wearing the British Crown Jewels.

Got it

Thats sad I am going to miss yours balls...
Just being his usual self

A few of my favorites:

Did you know that Emus are sexually attracted to humans?

Boy, by the time you run a quarter mile, I could have read War and Peace in Russian and translated it...

Calm the hell down and go sit in the corner before I use the ban stick to smack the taste out of your mouth.

So I told her she was a waste of vagina and would look better with my dick in her mouth.

I had an old e-machine which sucked balls. I couldnt get it to play Mechworrior and the stupid thing kept on crashing. Finally took my Katana and impaled it into the tower. no more computer, no more problems.

Her nipples are pink!

rally....talking about....well, you can tell.

You see, i was brought up with a 3-letter surname; R, double-E, S...

My mum, at dinner tonight...

How do you pronounce Eagle Talon?

The Talon part...do you say it like tall on or taaalen like what the birds have?

Its commonly prounced "broke" or "non-running" which is from the greek phase "piece of crap".

TSC at his best.

Moses on a skateboard, you wanna resize those?

:lol2:

If I killed by an animal it should be by something cool, like a jaguar or giraffe or something.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

You've seen the commercials. Pads got wings, guard rails, turbos, all kinds of shit now. Who wouldn't want to wear one?

apparently..feminine products are becoming quite popular on AF....:shakehead

Matty40000: *throws down*
OoToksinoO: BRING IT
Matty40000: you don't none of this!
Matty40000: .. wanna get a drink instead?
Matty40000: it's about beer o'clock anyways.
OoToksinoO: yeah sure
OoToksinoO: usually happens to me
OoToksinoO: someome comes to me
OoToksinoO: startin shit
OoToksinoO: 2 minutes later theyre buying me a beer
Matty40000: or in my case, trying to suck me off... which isn't always welcome cause they're dudes.... with that said, i don't leave the house much...

Isn't always welcome? So it's welcome some of the time?

Matty40000: LOL
Matty40000: nice
Matty40000: you're an ass
Matty40000: but nice.
OoToksinoO: i'm a nice ass?
Matty40000: you can be.
OoToksinoO: thanks :wink:
Matty40000: very firm on your beliefs
Matty40000: a bit bouncy to subject to subject though
Matty40000: overall, a nice rounded individual
OoToksinoO: LMAO
OoToksinoO: actual LOL

:lol:

hmmm it doesn't say Official AOL/IM quote thread, it does say Official AF quote though,

things that make you go hmmmm. Oh the hell with it, I'll change the rules.

TS

^i think they already did...

hmmm it doesn't say Official AOL/IM quote thread, it does say Official AF quote though,

things that make you go hmmmm. Oh the hell with it, I'll change the rules.

TS

It counts as an AF Quote when you're IMing with an AFer :p


back to our regular scheduled programming...

Cool girl, good lookin too. Definitely wanted to :boink: Then slowly but surely, her hair got a lil darker, her clothes got a lil wierder, her attitude got a lil sadder. She eventually quit the job.

She was emo and it was too late for me to help her:disappoin

Friends don't let friends turn emo

:lol: :rofl: :lol:

Oh this stuff kills me.

And if your so fat you can't ride a bike then consider spending the money a stomach stapeling?

LOL

i found out this morning that when a girl asks you to wake her up at 7am she means call and get her up etc..

not put your phone up the your motobike exhausts and rev it.

i thought everyone wanted to wake to the symphony of a 90 degree V-twin with quard-cam desmodromic valve timing. apparently not. she should be pleased i only took it up to 4,000rpm and not the full 13,000.

meh, maybe it's just me...
Ok, that's just fuckin' hilarious!

Can you tell me what part of that sentence had anything to do with food, drink, or health?
refer to stone_mound_camaro's post, with the fruity language then read from then on.
:rofl:

I don't care what anyone says, KY warming is the greatest stuff ever. It's so fun haha!

666 defending his fetish other other than crippled midget porn, eeew :gay:

Toksin on irony:

Tell him to stop crying or I'll give him something to cry about.

man... if you were my sister, incest would be totally cool

He was having a little chat with Jenna Jameson so...

OoToksinoO: yeah, you were my first
OoToksinoO: so youre special
OoToksinoO: ....how longs the bleeding going to last?
Matty40000: a day or two.
OoToksinoO: cool


:grinno: