transmission woes

I'm new so bear with me as I'm working from notes....93 Sable 3.0L auto trans....I would like to know how to adjust bands while the trans is still in vehicle...how much, how tight...while the trans fluid is drained, pan & strainer removed. The syptoms are chattering and clunking noise after startup, in neutral at idle....drive for a few kms and the trans disengages (engine revs with no trans response). Then I turn the ignition key off for about 20 secs and startup, trans will be functional for another complete shift up from 1st to 3rd with no problem, but then would disengage again after reaching cruising speed which would be about another 2 kms. Any help out there? Thanx.