random car stuff

[bonzelite]

grant, i don't know whether to rejoice for you or be depressed.

i know this is not always true, but i think that most of what we get out of life is because we have set it up: we make specific choices that have profound ripple effects, like a stone skipping in a lake. it eventually sinks, but it's presence is felt across acres, perhaps miles, of the water's surface. this is our lives --your boss is a projection, as in a mirror image, of your inner beliefs about your own self-image and fate. he is a construct of your own creative ideas. and he is virtually illusory, despite his apparent "reality." he only has as much meaning as you give him.

about LA or atlanta and traffic, the city: a fast-lane kind of life is not for everybody. i know that. everyone of us has inherent tastes, strengths and weaknesses, and not only is it about drawing techniques or ability or skill with a craft. it is about, if you will, the "art of living." many do not even see life through this kind of lens, however. so it is not fair to expect that everybody will, or even should. you don't have to live anywhere, or in any way, that you find disdainful, regardless of any talent.

on this merry-go-round of days and years, speaking for myself, i want to leave it knowing i, at least, perhaps, altered it's roundabout turning and turning at least a little. and, if i didn't, then at least i had a life that was more about me and what i am really about. not about some "boss." or some asshole's life. or some phantom that i am giving away my power to.

for me, drawing has afforded me many great things, and will continue to do this, as it has been largely under my own guidance: there was never a gun at my head telling me to do jack shit with my talent. but in times when i knew i was denying it, i had some people in my life outright say it. and i knew it to be the spoken truth. even if it meant my life would need to get very uncomfortable for a while in order to properly birth it. i faced huge fears. and faced tremendous anxiety of looming uncertainty. but i always knew i would be fine no matter what. it would save me --somehow.

you have a gift, and this gift is in second-gear presently. maybe first. and you could accelerate your entire life into fifteenth gear with your talent. there are many probable futures waiting for you nearly the instant you decide to have them. that is, they are already manifesting your desires and ideas of who you are as a person, whether you want to believe this or not. overall, you are going to get out of life what you ask of it, often so dead-on that it will scare you shitless. sometimes, it takes longer to get things than you wish. sometimes they materialize the next day. regardless of when something happens, it must be a commited plan to see that it does happen.

and this is where many people fail: they want everything to be microwaved and fast, and short-cut to fame and money and tits and ass --or they'll just sit back instead because that kind of stuff is not really within grasp anyway. they need to change the channel real quick. or go shopping or buy a new car, get into debt that they cannot afford to carry, so they can prove to the world they can get some. but they're miserable and in a coma.

whatever it is, whomever has a gift, can give it life and strengthen it. and it is not just about money. it is a matter of quality of life, hard or easy. you already have it within you, and it can "save" you.

contrarily, the instant one sees that this gift or power is not "really" within them (denying it's existence or, rather, inhibiting its energy), such a denial will ultimately eat that person alive. this is what "hell" really means.

you said that thought already bothers you, or will. this is very revealing.
by the way, the revised cuda you did is nice.

[tokes99]

there are many probable futures waiting for you nearly the instant you decide to have them. that is, they are already manifesting your desires and ideas of who you are as a person, whether you want to believe this or not. overall, you are going to get out of life what you ask of it, often so dead-on that it will scare you shitless. sometimes, it takes longer to get things than you wish. sometimes they materialize the next day. regardless of when something happens, it must be a commited plan to see that it does happen.

and this is where many people fail: they want everything to be microwaved and fast, and short-cut to fame and money and tits and ass --or they'll just sit back instead because that kind of stuff is not really within grasp anyway. they need to change the channel real quick. or go shopping or buy a new car, get into debt that they cannot afford to carry, so they can prove to the world they can get some. but they're miserable and in a coma.

that is great analysis bonzelite! there are few people in theis world who fall into success, you always hear that "right place at the right time" saying but it is misleading because these people often are so dedicated to there craft. part of success is just deciding what you REALLY want to do and making choices that can aid you to that goal

i will not tell you to go confront your boss on proper compensation but i will say that bonzelite's advice on assessing where you want to go and deciding what route will get you there seems like the best thing you could do...

[bonzelite]

thanks, tokes. glad you heard me.

and grant, as tokes suggests, the only real way your're going to change your working condition is to LEAVE. and that is well within your realm of choices.

your boss does not "owe" you a damn thing. he is making a living and keeping overhead low so he can remain profitable. if you want to be your own boss, hire your own slaves, then that is entirely different.

despite who your boss is, or what kind of a person he is, he has chosen to work for himself --you have not. so you must live with that, be happy, not complain, and get over it. (i realize you are "at peace" with it, so i am not necessarily talking to you here).

eventhough, as well, grant, that i do identify with you overall, you must understand that you have not made the choice to do much to change your situation. you seem to somewhat defend it, actually. and THIS is a choice, and it will give you the result that this kind of a choice will give you. you will get "exactly" what you want: low pay, relatively "lower" stress (which i don't really see) --it is really a position of lesser responsibility. to me, these slavery situations are HIGHER stress, because you have little say in anything that happens to you. you are largely at the whim of others.

unless we're born into priviledge, i think we all start out there. but some choose to go elsewhere. probably, from where i sit, i can guess that you are more "talented" than the man who pays you --but he is your whipping master. so talent does not trump him --he is the alpha male.

the reverse can be true, as well: you can be hired because you are talented in an area that others are not, but need very much. they know they cannot draw or visualize, so they go "hey, call grant up. he can do this." --you get enough people with this same idea to call you, and you can start your own business.

talent will propel one ahead if they choose to go down that path, ie, if they recognize that is "within them." your talent is blaring evidence of it's existence. and a relatively small amount of people possess that kind of gift. so, if it is "played" right, according to what you are and what you need, it will elevate you above the fray. often very quickly.

but it is your choice. god gave all of us the burden of free will.

[GirlBear]

Lookin good. I never really liked that style til now. when I was in art school they tried too push me in that direction. It just wasn't 4 me. I believe ya gotta draw/sketch what ya feel. keep it fun. And dude those drawings/sketches look like they were fun

[tokes99]

and grant, as tokes suggests, the only real way your're going to change your working condition is to LEAVE. and that is well within your realm of choices

.

i think i was misunderstood, am not really suggesting that you (grant) leaves his current employment situation, what i am suggestiong is just figuring out where you want to go with your talent and deciding how to get there. this may or may not mean leaving your current situation, you could decide that this jobs allows you a medium to work on your craft and still pursue other things that could et you to where you want to go...

[grantrl78]

I hear you too bonzelite!
I am back and thinking long and hard about both of your replies. I appreciate the guidance.

[tokes99]

i have not posted in a while had to go back a couple of pages to find this, just some random stuff from my sketchbook:





digital sketching is fun if but fustrating...

[knightvision]

I love your style. Looks very professional!

[tokes99]

thanks knightvision! i have a ways to go before i reach that professional status though...

[tokes99]

another digital sketch

[tokes99]

rendered version, i think i an am starting to little more understanding of how color & lighting work...that said i am still totally confused:

[tokes99]

more digital sketches...

[knightvision]

Great work, again.

Looks like from a professional car designer.

[bonzelite]

i am impressed to the max. you are an emerging designer in your own right. you have vision and originality of thought. your designs surprise me and kindle a sense of wonder. very inspiring. seeing your designs makes me want to create my own.

[tokes99]

thanks knigntvision & bonzelite, i wish i could see my work the way some others do, right now i see the things i need to improve on, but i guess all aspiring designers (and probably working ones too) think that way...