What to do to avoid having a bad day.

["Pandamonium"]

Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you DON'T know.

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone
call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered
saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak to
Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that
anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and
called her.
She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up
with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I
decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're an a**hole!" and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word "a**hole," and put it in
my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're an a**hole!"
It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID. This was
a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the a**hole. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number and when I heard his voice,
"Hello?" I made up a name. "Hi. I'm with the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you'd be interested in our caller ID program?"

"No!" he shouted and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
a**hole!"

Keep reading this, it gets better!

Some time later I was looking for a parking spot at the shopping
center.
An old lady really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I
didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move
and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little
more to give her plenty of room to pull out. "Great", I thought, "she's
finally leaving."

All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in
the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and
started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!" The guy climbed out
of his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as if I didn't even exist. I thought to myself, "This guy's another a**hole; there sure are a lot of a**holes in this world."

Then, I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his
car. I wrote down the phone number. Then, I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had just gotten
off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an a**hole!"
(It's really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.) I noticed
the phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and
thought I'd better call this guy, too. After a couple rings, someone
answered the phone and said, "Hello."

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the
car's parked right out front." I said, "What's your name?" "My name is
Don Hansen." "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home in the
evenings."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Sure..." "Don, you're an
a**hole!"
And I slammed the phone down.

Then, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say,
for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now, when I had a problem I had two a**holes to call.

Then, after several months of calling the a**holes and hanging up
on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem
some serious thought and came up with this solution:

First, I had my phone speed dial a**hole #1.
A man answered nicely, "Hello?"
I yelled, "You're an a**hole!" but I didn't hang up.
The a**hole said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "Make me."
He said, "What's your name, pal?"
So I told him, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's
parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your
prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole!" and I hung up.

Then I called a**hole #2.
Don Hansen answered, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, a**hole."
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick you're a**."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, a**hole." And
I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was
on my way to 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay
lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the
gang war going on down on West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious satisfaction! Watching two a**holes kicking the crap out
of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day.


The Panda will use this!!!
:evillaugh :evillaugh :evillaugh :evillaugh

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Been there, done that.

Still good to use again.

[YogsVR4]

A classic!













Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!

[ragt20]

truely a classic

[carnut]

Will this work with A-hole snitches? I almost lost my job because of a snitch a few years ago. Worst of all, the snitches buddy and him caused 3 workers to lose their jobs. The funny thing is both of the snitches were the laziest sobs in the crew and we had to carry them to get the work done! After the 3 guys got fired, one of the senior supervisors got promoted to VP!

[ArtemisEntreriR34]

At first I was getting tired of the jokes on the forum, but now, this totally changed my mind. PURE FREAKIN COMEDY :toothless

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Originally posted by carnut
Will this work with A-hole snitches? I almost lost my job because of a snitch a few years ago. Worst of all, the snitches buddy and him caused 3 workers to lose their jobs. The funny thing is both of the snitches were the laziest sobs in the crew and we had to carry them to get the work done! After the 3 guys got fired, one of the senior supervisors got promoted to VP!

It could work with the right strategy.

[Ssom]

:silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2: :silly2:

Can't say I have heard this one before:finger:

[hdtboy]

My god man that's the biggest lauf i've had in ages,
and my mates do some ugly chicks:jump: :jump:

[mentel]

i wish i could stop having a bad day!


.....i had my old cavalier wrecked a few weeks ago by an old lady in a hopped updurango (she drove over it, go figure!) and then today i j ust got another car , went and picked it up t his morning from the paper, an 82 z28....the guy said it worked fine, and it test drove fine, i gave him the 1000 bucks, drove away.....im turning at astop sign, the stop sign is buried in 12" of con crete.....as im turning the throttle l ocks wide open and the power steering quits, i run over the 12" slab of concrete, broke both the aluminum rims on drivers side of the car, i broke my left strut, compressed the coil springs shut, the rear end also lost a m uffler, not to mention all of the plastic that got ruined too!. i think im gonna sue him.....as well as the lady that drove ofver top my cavalier.....not to mention i lost my job and i have no way of finding a new job without a car

[Grendel]

Originally posted by mentel
i wish i could stop having a bad day!


.....i had my old cavalier wrecked a few weeks ago by an old lady in a hopped updurango (she drove over it, go figure!) and then today i j ust got another car , went and picked it up t his morning from the paper, an 82 z28....the guy said it worked fine, and it test drove fine, i gave him the 1000 bucks, drove away.....im turning at astop sign, the stop sign is buried in 12" of con crete.....as im turning the throttle l ocks wide open and the power steering quits, i run over the 12" slab of concrete, broke both the aluminum rims on drivers side of the car, i broke my left strut, compressed the coil springs shut, the rear end also lost a m uffler, not to mention all of the plastic that got ruined too!. i think im gonna sue him.....as well as the lady that drove ofver top my cavalier.....not to mention i lost my job and i have no way of finding a new job without a car

God, that sucks man... hope it all works out for ya...

Panda: Another funny thread... good work

-Grendel

[Damien]

Way to go PANDA!!!

That was good.....I have my own way of dealing with a bad day though

And mentel......I feel so sorry for ya man.....good luck to you!