how to hunt crocs the Aussie method!!!

[ragt20]

On his recent tour of Australia, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the wild outdoors of northern Australia on an impromptu safari.
Deep into the bush, his 4X4 Pope-mobile, was driving alongside a river when there was an enormous commotion heard up ahead.
They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed in the river, a hapless man wearing a New Zealand football top, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty foot crocodile.
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing green
& gold football tops roared into view from around a bend in the river.
Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the
croc's ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached and pulled the Kiwi from the river and using long clubs beat the croc to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speed boat along with the dead croc and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the river bank.
Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said: "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide Australia & New Zealand, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a
model on which other nations could follow." He blessed them all and
drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others: 'Who was that???!" "That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows stuff all about croc hunting! How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"


see ya later, I gotta run like the wind and hide before the Kiwis in here Harpoon me...............and I don't even like the Aussies....

[ragt20]

oh yeah b4 I run.....

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a secluded, rural area of the state. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather....are these plates clean?

His grandfather replied.... those plates are as clean as cold water can get them so go on and finish your meal.

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of this plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks...so he asked again......are you sure these plates are clean?

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says.....I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore!

Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, Grandfather's dog started to growl and would not let him pass.... Grandfather, your dog won't let me out.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, Grandfather shouted, COLDWATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY!

[Gonthrax]

Lol!! Good stuff, what is the sudden fount of humor Rag? Or has Mr T. already hit upon it :silly2:

[ragt20]

Originally posted by Gonthrax
Lol!! Good stuff, what is the sudden fount of humor Rag? Or has Mr T. already hit upon it :silly2:

check one of the other threads I've just posted....Mr T has already hit upon it....

[Gonthrax]

Originally posted by ragt20


check one of the other threads I've just posted....Mr T has already hit upon it....

Mum's the word, my lips are sealed

[primera man]

Rags....your on a roll today...lol

[tazdev]

good to have your humour back agin Rags. STOP HIDING

[Setanta]

hahahaha - love the croc hunter one - more so 'cause that Irwin idiot wasn't involved

[taranaki]

Originally posted by Setanta
hahahaha - love the croc hunter one - more so 'cause that Irwin idiot wasn't involved

Wasn't he a schoolteacher once?

[tazdev]

[steve irwin voice]"don't try this maths problem at home kids, It's reaaaaallllllyyyyyy Dangerous"[/steve irwin voice]