so she just wants to be friends..WTF?

[ghostguy6]

So get this I broke up with my G/F like 2 weeks ago and she tells me she just wants to be friends. She says its gonna be a little hard at first with the break up and all, I can understand that so I give her her space but we still talk. Yesterday she calls me so there we are talking, then for some reason she totally freaks out on me, saying a bunch of shit about how im obsessed with her and the only thing i said was I would like to see her on her birthday (which is just over a month away.) Its not like Im calling her or anything, she said she wants some space so I give it to her, everytime we have talked she started the converation, so there is no way you can tell me im obsessed with her. I miss her like crazy but its not like im sitting outside her house everynight or stalking her.Ok enough ranting. What I would like to know is when women say the want to be friends do they actually mean it? Should I take what she said as some kind of mood swing? Should I try to just totally block her from my life or is there a chance she really does want to be friends? If anyone should reply, I want you to be honest, dont bull shit me! I would also like the women out there to reply, I know most of the guys out there will tell me "Fuck that bitch move on!". I would like to know what a woman really thinks when she says " Lets be friends"

[Raz_Kaz]

ok, women dont even know what women want....If she says she wants to be friends, then yuo have to do the impossible of pretending like you dont care for her all that much and try to keep friendship based convo's. NEVER bring up the past when you were both together, if she does then that's a sign she's thinking of it, meaning yuo still have a chance, if she doesnt bring it up, then it's only friends

[Jet-Lee]

[CarSuperfreak]

I broke up with my gf like 2 1/2 months ago, and Im still trying to figure out how to act around her and to her. its hard and different after being together for so long, but I think the best thing for you to do is ask her to be blazingly clear with you what she wants. then play by her rules, and just be friends if thats what she wants (If thats not what you want, then you may have to resolve to just move on)

[ghostguy6]

I know its over, right now thats the only thing Im really sure of. So far I have only brought up the past once, because I wasnt entirely sure it was over at that point. Just moving on isnt an option she is still going to be a big part of my life. Reguardless she still is friends with my friends, I need to resolve this without kicking her out of my life. Is this a normal thing when the woman leaves? Ive always been the one who's left before, I have never had them leave me. And ive gotta say this is like a million times worse because i still do love her.

[Raz_Kaz]

Well then instead of playnig her game and not being honest....let her know that you still love her and it's going to be hard for you to be around her and act like yuo dont care. Since you know that it's over, do this, tell her you wanna stay friends (which is up to you) but take a long vacation from her. Cut all contact for a good week (trust me, it's longer than it sounds) and then avoid long convos with her.

[CarSuperfreak]

my gf and i had a kind of distance relationship to begin with, so after we broke up i talked to her maybe 5 or 6 times total in the following month or more
it was ahrd and weird at first, but were still friends now

[goat_launcher]

don't kill yourself just yet, plenty of other fish in the sea...i like cars.

[CarSuperfreak]

Originally Posted by goat_launcher

...i like cars.

always a good thing to get your mind off things!

[ghostguy6]

The thing is if i break off all contact with her I break of all contact with my friends too, I know that sounds strange but unfortunatly thats the truth, we were hopefully still are a very close niche, in a way she kind of brought us all closer.I know right now I need some friends to talk to, I have already done some stupid things over her, (which i will not go into because I belive she does have a membership here and Id rather she not found out about them from here). Just cutting her out of my life is not an option, I need someone to talk to before I do more stupid things, If i cut her out then I loose everyone I could talk to about this

[CarSuperfreak]

well not cut her out persay, but keep donig what youre doing. Do not go out of your way to contact her, if you run into her around town or whatever, then fine, but dont deliberatly make plans to do things together or even in a group. you both need some space. im telling you, it will help.

[Raz_Kaz]

keeping in contact with her while your in this stage will only add salt/citrus to the wound. Your hurt, you need you time. Go back to the single life and remember what you used to do for fun and get back to that. Hang out witht he friends, do it for a week. A week from no to minumum contact with her and you should be fine

[ghostguy6]

I would still like to know how women feel when they say this, I mean I know there is no way Im every going to completely understand but having some kinda of idea of what she fells might help me deside what I should do

[Raz_Kaz]

well sorry, I'm no girl so the best I can do is give you adivce from personal experience and ppl that have come to me for advice. Usually "lets be friends" means that a) shes confused/lost about the relationship you have (maybe some concerns that were not discussed) b) she no longer has strong enough feelings to keep an on going relationship with you (women are clairevoyant, they know this stuff)

[coozy]

She may want to be friends but usually when a woman says that she wants to be friends, that is just a way of letting you down easy. I would just continue to give her the space and see what happens.