(for the bad kids) "good" drunk stories??

Well, pulling out all the stops (since nobody knows who I am, what's harm?), here's a little story involving me drinking too much this past May.

I'm down in the Cancun area of Mexico. I am down there for my brother's wedding, and I am the best man. We're at one of those all-inclusive resorts, you know, where everything is free, so you can sit around getting plastered all day and not have to pay a red cent to do it. So I am at the beach, I'm having a few drinks, and I just went a little over that edge. I'm sitting there with my cousin, her husband (who is a buddy of mine), my God brother, and I realize that I have just gone over that edge, and I'm drunk. So my cousin takes me to her room before dinner (shortly after my "realization"), and gives me some Visine to get rid of the red in my eyes. And she tried so hard to help me, but it was just too late.

So I see my God father at dinner, and I'm talking to him, and I'm trying to play it straight, but I blow it, and I say to him "you know.. I'm just so drunk." And he didn't know it until I said anything. Well, it was all downhill from there.

Of course, the entire wedding party goes to the bar after dinner. The difference is that for them they went to have a couple drinks and try to perhaps get a good buzz going on. But me, already buzzing my ass off, goes for "the prolonged buzz." So I throw back a few more, and the stupidity really flies. I start talking about how I'd like a larger... (let's call it a ding dong), and next thing I know, I'm walking around in front of my brothers in-laws to be with a cantaloupe in my pants. Embarassing as this must have been, I was too looped to care.

So then a few minuts later, I'm hanging out with a friend that I have known since the day she was born. We're both loopy, and as she tries to hug me, I lean forward and kiss her right between her breasts in her low-cut shirt. Now, understand that this girl is like a sister to me, and that I really would not touch her (sexually) with a ten-foot pole. My brother comes over to me, and asks me if I know what I just did. I said "no, what?" He tells me, and I say "I did?"

Well, so now I'm getting the maid of honor, who kind of likes me, a little jealous. So, she grabs me by the hand and says "we've gotta talk." So she takes me to the beach. And all of a sudden she taking off her clothes like they're on fire. And me being the drunk fool that I am I follow suit and run after her into the ocean. So we're in the ocean, swimming and playing around just having fun. Then, we get out and start misbehaving (heh heh heh) on a chase lounge on the beach. Now the beauty of this is that many times sober, I have pushed her away, as her sister and my brother are to be married (and were the day after the evening being described here), but this time my defenses are just shot. And the happy-couple-to-be just happen to come strolling along to see these two "strange people" getting it on right on the beach. And my sister-in-law even thought she saw one guy and TWO girls (yeah, I wish).

Well, that's about the best of it. It was an awesome night, and some of my best work. And one of the really great things about it is that I wasn't even hung over the next day for the wedding. I did my best man's speech well and everything! Right on!

Anyway, other good stories, please feel free to share :)

........................ I haven't been on AF in a while, now I come back and this is the first post I choose to look at :)
HOHOHO :D
Go JD !!! :D
I'm not ready to tell my stories yet...
but anyone who is, go ahead ;)

Bahahahahaha good story man, good story

New Years was pretty normal for me but a good buddy of mine got totally sloshed and, uh, "did" one of the girls there (a friend of mine's cousin), who was pretty young (he was only 3 years older so no biggie really) but even better had not uh, done that sort of thing before - and he doesn't remember any of it at all (he couldn't figure out why his pants had dirtstains on them.. well they went outside to do their thing and he doesn't even remember going outside)

The girl liked him after too. Poor girl... (she wasn't exactly great looking so my buddy said "no way" in the nicest way possible)


Me, I haven't got many good stories of being drunk, since I don't really drink anymore (only casually) but I have woken up in the hallway of the house down the street of the party I was at before (no I didn't know who's house it was, and no they were not impressed that I was in their hallway as they didn't know me either)

Been arrested for eluding the cops while drunk too :o

All right, well here's another tale, this one from my college years archive. There's this Saturday night when NOTHING (and I mean nothing) is going on. I'm still in my freshman year, and in the state of Maine, if you are underage, you are not going to be able to go to a store and buy alcohol. It is as simple as that.

Anyway, so it's like 10:30, and I am dying to party or do something. I hear through a connection that there is a keg in Pierce House, the football house. Now, usually I don't go in there (especially being a freshman) unless I am going with a buddy on the football team, but this particular evening, I am on a mission to get some beer. What's a little risk of bodily harm for the cause of partying anyway?!?!

So I go. I get there, and I simply just stake out the keg, down five 9 ounce cups inside of a half hour. Feeling like I've undergone some adequate consumption, I leave to go enjoy my buzz elsewhere.

I head back over to my house, and a couple buddies of mine are playing a Doom Death Match (all the rage on college campuses in 1995 to 1996). I decide I wanted to help my friend kill the bad guys, so I picked up his can of mousse and start spraying it all over his monitor. He of course freaks out, starts yelling offensive comments at my drunk ass to beat it. What the Hell did I know? I really thought I would help kill the bad guys.

Now I decide I'm going to go see my buddy that lives on the other side of campus in Adams, a large dorm. I stagger over there (my tolerance really sucked ass that night), and am actually pretty tired and ready to pass out by the time I get over to his place. He's in his room hanging out with someone (can't remember who - and I got rid of them pretty quickly anyway), and I come flying into his room and give him the old drunk hug. He has two beds in his room, so he basically lays me down and tells me "sleep it off you wine-o." Drunk, I usually don't put up much of a fight when someone tells me to do something (especially in my early days of freshman alcoholic bliss), so I promptly go to bed.

The interesting part of all this comes when I get up to take a leak a couple hours later. Adams happens to be a dorm that is symmetrical, in that there is a middle section with two identical wings. I go to the bathroom, and on the way back, apparently I walked back to wrong wing. I find the door to my friend's room closed, and surprisingly locked. I start knocking and doing that whole frustrated drunk thing, you know: "let me in, you sloppy bastard" and such. A girl opens the door a crack, refuses to let me in, and then slams the door on one of my fingers when I try to push my way in. She locks it again.

Now, as a drunk, thinking I am standing outside my friend's room, this is a confusing and shocking situation. I pound on the door every couple minutes, with interludes of standing around dazed and confused. Finally, it becomes apparent that I am not going to get in, so instead of walking all the back to my room late on a Saturday night in March in my boxer shorts and a t-shirt, I decide fuck it, I'm going to sleep right outside my friend's door. Wasn't the most comfortable place to get some rest, but when you are sleeping off alcohol, that becomes more of a detail than a requirement for actually being able to sleep.

A couple hours later, some mysterious guy comes out of the room, and stands there puzzled for a moment before stepping over me to make his way to the bathroom. I too am puzzled, but things make so little sense at this point, I just shrug and try to go back to sleep. On his way back to the room, the guy steps back over me and says "you should really find a better place to sleep." I say "yeah, sure" and go back to sleep.

Finally at like 8:00 in the morning, I am awake enough to get kind of pissed about a bad joke that has gone on for too long. I stand up, and as I am about to pound the door again, I notice the room number: 401. My friend lives in 434. Very embarrassed, I high-talied it back over to my friend's room. He wakes and sits up, and asks where the Hell I was all that time. Long story... :D

Bahahaha... I got to go drink more man

Good story, I enjoyed reading that :D

Alcohol is cool, man!

And the sad thing is that, in fact, I have many, many more. I hate to be such a proponent of drinking, but dammit, I have had so many good times (well into the hundreds.. thousands?) while doing it. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I'm too lazy ta read all your stories

I love drinkin, I'll never stop, PARTY PARTY PARTY!!

I drink alot with my friends- and have some really funny stories- but this one just came to my head:


A couple months ago- (i throw kegs alot- i am only in highschool) i was throwing a keg we were all taking turns doing keg stands- finally when it came to my turn, i was so plastered that i lost grip of the keg, fell, and hit myself unconcsious on the tap :)

hahahaha :D
good job kenny

My friend Zach was at a party and went to take a piss. He went in the bathroom and the toilet was in the corner like this:

These equal walls: l
This is the bowl: O

The bathroom: (don't mind the periods, I just used them to keep the drawings out, if you don't do that, it messes up the pic when it's posted)

......................____
......................l O l
............______l....l_____

(the toilet was in a recess of the wall)

Well...to stabalize himself, he put out his right arm to lean up against the wall. Well, in reality, the bathroom was shaped like this:



......................___________
......................l O
............______l


There was no wall beside him! He just fell on the floor and pissed a rainbow shape all the wall.

ahhhhahaha :D good stuff

can't live wit out alcohol

21st B-day
My friends throw a party for me at my place(stripper, fridge filled top to bottom with beer), i made the mistake of mixing root beer schnaps(sp?), tequila, Jack Daniels & beer all night. I pass out in my bed and wake up around 3am. As i open my eyes, the food i ate earlier in the night war staring back at me(this was the only time i've ever puked from getting drunk). I get up(still buzzing pretty good) and walk out to my living room in my underwear, theres still some people hanging out, and say "somebody puked in my bed". In the morning when i finally get my bearings straight, there was puke all over my room, parts on the walls, etc, it was nasty.

One night after a keg party, we went go-karting after some more Jello shots(Everclear), that was fun.We figured we'd be safe there, instead of on the road. THats it for now

A friend of mine used to get badly drunk all the time. One time he was unconsious and we drew all over the bastard and sprayed whipped cream down his pants.

Another time he was even worse. He was unconsious (again) and making the weirdest noises I've ever heard come from a human being. These weird, agonizing moans, me and another guy who was there were in hysterics. Then he started puking and we feared for his well-being. We drew on him again.

Yeah, being the sober one around some drunks can be fun. I've had a guy pass out when he was hanging around with my friends and I, so we drew chalk lines all around him and took pictures. He still doesn't believe it was him, he thinks we photoshopped the pictures.

hahahaa, i'm drunk right now, juss got back from a party...... split a 40 size bottle of kahlua wit 2 people, oh i am fuckin done

I'm a fuckin alkaholik and i love it

great stories!

Here’s a good drunk story to add to my repertoire. About a month ago, I was out in a bar in Hartford called The Pig’s Eye Pub. It was a stellar evening, as I was downing my current favorite, Red Bull and Stoli (spelling?) Vanilla vodka. This not only gives me a great buzz, but an impressive “permagrin” as well. And it was just working to full effect of magical charm. It was so damned good that at one point I was walking around on the balcony, and as I was passing by this guy who was hitting on some girl, he asked her “so what do you look for in a guy?” She gestured over to me, and said “someone like him.” Not to boast, but that’s the kind of evening it was for me. I remember talking to this one girl who had a shirt with a picture of a bridge on it (the bridge image stretched across her chest), and I admitted that even though the bridge was very pretty, I really liked looking at it because it allowed me to look at her breasts without being quite as obvious as it normally would be for me to do so. Then there was her friend, who was wearing these very sexy, tight white pants. For the life of me, I couldn’t see any panty lines, so I kept asking her (the girl with the bridge shirt) “are you sure your friend’s wearing underwear?” And I got away with it all!! The women of Hartford didn’t stand a chance against me!!

To make a good evening even better, I was naturally in no state for driving when all was said and done on this night. I’ll give my two friends Ari and Michelle a lot of gratitude, because not only did they drive me back to the building where they lived, let me crash in Michelle’s empty apartment, and give me a bottle of Dasani water to help my alcohol and caffeine-induced dehydration, they even drove my car over to the building and parked it outside for me. Awesome is an understatement in describing a situation this beautiful.

Anyway, I wound up meeting like 8 to 10 girls, and I was so buzzed I didn’t even bother getting phone numbers, and I didn’t care either. At last call, one of the girls I had been talking to bumped into me, and with her friend Kim right there with her, said that I should gave Kim a call. But she didn’t give me her number, just her name and the town she lived in.

Of course I immediately forgot Kim’s first name, so the trip back to the apartment building I kept asking Ari and Michelle for typical Irish first names. I finally got it, so from bed before I were to forget it again, I called information to get her number. I forgot that when you call from a cell phone, they automatically connect you. So here it is, about 2:30 am, and the Kim’s phone is ringing. Fortunately her answering machine picks up, but then she picks up. So I sit there shocked for a second, and then I say “uhh.. did I meet you at Pig’s Eye Pub tonight?” She of course says yes. Not the best way to get it done, but it worked. She and I have now been dating for about a month, give or take. Never know how or when you'll meet someone you really like.

JD...You sound like a good mate to get on the piss with :) :)

Any way....a few years back we are at this huge party in this 2 story building. Doing the normal things like getting drunk and chatting up any thing in a skirts etc.....free beers/food....got as smashed as hell !!!

Now this place is packed fill of people and the toilets have a waiting line of 10 people plus.

So boyz being boyz a few of us decide we might as well piss off the balcony all night. So with most of us not being able to see 2 feet in front of us let alone stand, we all piss off this balcony for the next 4-5 hours thinking its a huge laugh.

So after most of us pass out at the party, we wake up in the morning and after the coffee fix we say our goodbuys and thanks for the night.

We get down to the bottom to hop into our mates car to drive home and nearly throw up by the stink in his car.

After checking things out.......we then looked up and found that we had parked his car right under neath the balcony and had been pissing all night in through his open sunroof :D :D :D :D

OH SHIT !!!!:bloated: :bloated: :bloated:

OMG! lol I bet he wasn't ammused.

That is a fucking GREAT story, Primera Man, albeit as tragic as it happens to be. Awesome!!

Originally posted by JD@af
That is a fucking GREAT story, Primera Man, albeit as tragic as it happens to be. Awesome!!

Yeah he was pretty gutted at the time but now its a huge laugh to us when we think about it.

Anyway this same guy had some real bad luck because about 2 weeks later he was driving us all home after another hard drinking night.(he wasnt pissed,he had picked us up after his work) and stupid old me threw up over his dashboard:eek: :eek: (he wasn't to bloodly happy).
Any way he cleaned it all up(thought he had) and went to pick up his new date. Soooooo after the movies they are driving home and shes moaning that its cold.....so he turns the heater and fan on and................lets just say i had a good bite to eat before he picked us up and quite a bit went down the air vents which then flew out over her :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ........he came a knocking on my door later that night wanting to kill me !!!!!!!! as it had taken him a long time to finally get this really hot date with her :p :p :p :D :D :D....hahahahahaha.. :devil: :devil:

Man, you are just too much. That's like the kind of shit that happens in movies, that, you know, would NEVER happen in real life.. right? That is some funny ass shit. Please, keep the good stories forthcoming. This is turning into one hell of a thread (and if I'm ever in New Zealand I know who I'm hanging with ;) ).

This just happened last night (friday) after this big party at my friends house there were like 40 people walkin down to the plaza by his house, at about 2 am, well after awhile the cops came, i had my back back on with 5 beers in the bag and my friend walkin with me had 4 in his (from a 24 we split, of corona). We're walkin and this cop drives up to us and tells us to stop, he checks our bags, finds the stuff. We gave him our IDs so he could check us out in the computers (we're both 16), so we're like fuck, we're screwed. Especially my friend, he just payed an underage drinking fine that same day, hahahahaha :D
We're both so drunk, and we're like officer we haven't had anything to drink yet tonight, we're so sorry for the trouble. My friend is like I wish i was a police officer, is it hard to get your job? it sounds like a good career, hahaha
the cops ended up lettin us off without bein charged, that was another close one

usually we don't really get searched, since we all look like good kids, me and all my friends are preps..... cops would rather check a guy wearin ripped clothes and really baggy pants. then a bunch of us wearin like khakis and polo shirts :)

Is it legal for the police to search your bags just like that???:confused:

I thought i'd revive this thread, it looked lonely and neglected on page 61. it also makes for some interesting reading
:)

About the worst i've done was last year when my 16 year old brother and i killed a $10 bottle of bourbon in 5 minutes.
Suffice to say i had most of the bottle and got rather intoxicated.
I ended the night in quite a bit of pain after trying to run up a pile of gravel which wasn't there.

My present squeeze met me while i was under the influence, and now thinks i hook up with random chicks when ever i go out:(, it doesn't help that my mates tell her i do just that regularly:rolleyes:

Originally posted by ales
Is it legal for the police to search your bags just like that???:confused:

no! i just learned that

one of my teachers said that it is illegal for the police to search your bags unless you say it's okay!

but if you say no, then there can be alotta complications...

might as well chime in

Well this is a sotry of being both drunk AND high!

My friend <anonymous> had a nice party at his house, about 12 poeple there, with anough alcohol for aobut 40 (bascially, the guy the borught the alkie - his car's rear end was draggin!) so anyway, things are getting good n atuff. I dont remember pissing out in the front yard. My friend had to take his girl home, but he was drunk and high as a kite, and i was telling him not to, but he went anyway. So there i was standing at the end of his driveway in february in a t shirt and jeans, freezing my ass off, watching him waiting for the blue flashy's to come on so taht i could scram home. He made it fine, thank god. But lets see, oh yeah, we got his dog drunk and high that was funny, cause after the dog just sat there staring at the wall, the whole nite.

um...hehe yeah, when we spilled red vodka all over his white carpet, we just kinda stared at it going "heh heh...that's gunna stain" ..um..some time passed, marks hottie sister tricked me into "smelling" the cake, which she promptly shoved my face into. They have pictures. Then me and his sister were flinging cake all over the house at each other. My freind then took a butt from one of the girls, thinking it was a joint, and when he realized it wasnt, he flicked it right at her forehead, and burned her, but she was sloshed so she couldn't remeber. Oh yeah, we have a pictire of 70-something empty bottles sitting on his table too, ill have to scan that for you guys. i dont remeber the rest of the night, but the next ...afternoon, i woke up between his sister and her friend, who are both gorgeous.... I was happy and fell back asleep. WOO! that was a great night. One to remeber...well whatever of it i can.

not much of a story here, as i really don't remember what had happened

it was the last day of school, 11th grade.

i went to a party at this kid kurt's house.

he lives way in the boondocks, and of course, the party was on the "beach" of a nearby pond, bonfire and all.

i had just moved to another place so i was kinda down. (memories and what-not)

so i went.. and had a drink or two, or 3, or actually, i do not know how many...

apparently my mom's bf at the time had showed up to find me piss drunk (no.. i do not remember him being there)

well apparently i had crashed in the grass somewhere, and woke up wearing a pink sweater.. knowing not where it came from.

from what i have heard i was talking to my beer... although i cannot remember it

if i could have remembered more i am sure i would have a MUCH better story :)

Damn... I gotta remind any of those good stories... i'll put some of them up in the evening... I gotta go now...Later... :toothless

Originally posted by Steel
oh yeah, we got his dog drunk and high that was funny, cause after the dog just sat there staring at the wall, the whole nite.


hahah LOL... i did that to a cat at my friends party last year
we put the cat in a garbage bag, and we just closed it up and blew all the weed smoke into the bag haha
it was hilarious, that cat was fucked! lol

last week i was at this party and i passed out in front of this guys TV, the TV is like 60'' and when i woke up at like 2:30am or so, all i could see was the TV screen, nothing else.... so i thought i was like there in the movie, it kinda tripped me out haha

Originally posted by hdtboy
About the worst i've done was last year when my 16 year old brother and i killed a $10 bottle of bourbon in 5 minutes.
Suffice to say i had most of the bottle and got rather intoxicated.
I ended the night in quite a bit of pain after trying to run up a pile of gravel which wasn't there.

My present squeeze met me while i was under the influence, and now thinks i hook up with random chicks when ever i go out:(, it doesn't help that my mates tell her i do just that regularly:rolleyes:


the thing is gav [hdtboy] is u do hook up with random chicks
how old was the last one...old enough to be a mother :flipa:
did her 2 kids wake u up the next day????:devil:
AND YOUR SQUEEZE KNOWS IT TOO
when will u be out again

Yeah so once I got really trashed, so I had to run out of the room (college dorm), run downstairs, and vomit outside. Then the head RA women person pulled up in her SUV (she hates our fraternity) so I had to run away to the other dorm building. On the way there, I was puking all over the place. I chugged too much super magic happy juice and punch. :bloated:

some of those stories are great. i've got more stories than i could write out here, but i will put a couple of short ones

an old girlfriend drank 1/2 bottle of absolut vodka on a beach and passed out, it was freezing outside and i had to take her home, clean all of the sand off of her, teach her to walk again, and get her into her room and in her bed before her parents woke up... alcohol is bad

i got drunk with my old best friend from high school and we ended up making out to end the night... and now i haven't talked to her in 6 months after being best friends for about 7 or 8 years... alcohol is bad

a buddy of mine my freshman year of college drank way to much, and then another kid challenged him to do shot-for-shot with him until he fell flat on his back, so some kids put him on a bed in the basement, went down to check on him and he had pissed himself, they took him to the emergency room where he flatlined and they brought him back and he was there for about a week, that was scary as hell... alcohol is bad

one night i was the designated driver and i had 7 friends in my buddy's jeep cherokee, and i backed into a taurus and dented his back bumper... that was the last time i drove his car... alcohol is bad

finally (not really, just for this post) one night we all told these girls that they should take off their shirts if we did, so we did and they did, and these two girls for no reason (completely topless) started making out right in front of us... it was amazing... alcohol isn't always bad i guess...

t.c.

alcohol isn't bad....... drinking like an idiot is

Originally posted by gang$tarr
hahahaa, i'm drunk right now, juss got back from a party...... split a 40 size bottle of kahlua wit 2 people, oh i am fuckin done

I'm a fuckin alkaholik and i love it

Originally posted by gang$tarr
alcohol isn't bad....... drinking like an idiot is

Glad to see that your attitude appears to be changing.It's perfectly normal to explore alcohol to its fullest limits,but in order to survive,you have to resist the urge to binge drink on a regular basis.And if you can get 'wasted' on 1/3 bottle of Kahlua,which is not a particularly strong beverage,you should seriously keep an eye on your intake.

Originally posted by taranaki


Glad to see that your attitude appears to be changing.It's perfectly normal to explore alcohol to its fullest limits,but in order to survive,you have to resist the urge to binge drink on a regular basis.And if you can get 'wasted' on 1/3 bottle of Kahlua,which is not a particularly strong beverage,you should seriously keep an eye on your intake.

well i've drank like an idiot before... but it's not smart

splitting a 1100ml (40oz.) bottle of 35% alcohol with 2 people did get me drunk as hell.... but i know my limits, i never throw up

oh man these stories are great, im laughing my ass off as i read these. i dont have much stories but shit yeah ive got drunk plenty of times b4... i havent got drunk recently but i made my three girl friends get so drunk that 2 of them throw up and pass out. my bad. :o it was pretty amusing to see them toasted though... :D

Hmmmm... Tangie will just kinda walk on through this thread without mentioning much of anything about the car show....

Originally posted by saturntangerine
Hmmmm... Tangie will just kinda walk on through this thread without mentioning much of anything about the car show....

Booo Hissss!! You've come, you've posted, and now our holdin out! We want Car Show Story!!

Originally posted by Gonthrax


Booo Hissss!! You've come, you've posted, and now our holdin out! We want Car Show Story!!

Tangie did some mad "praying" Friday night... :o

I never do anything crazy when drunk, just stupid little things.

One time i got worried that if cops raided the party, that i wouldn't be able to pass a field sobriety test, so i sat there touching my nose....people kept asking me what i was doing, i just kept thinking "ha, laught now, but when the cops come, muhahahah".

Nothing really notable, just stuff like just getting up, going in front of the house, and just starting running around and jumping around. When i get drunk i get the urge to go exploring, unfortunatly i restrain myself, i'm sure i'd have a lot of fun if i follow that urge next time i get wasted.

Originally posted by saturntangerine


Tangie did some mad "praying" Friday night... :o

:eek: 'praying'.....as in?

http://files.automotiveforums.com/uploads/594563043_3490.jpg

Originally posted by taranaki


:eek: 'praying'.....as in?


*clears throat*.... well.... maybe?

Originally posted by saturntangerine


*clears throat*.... well.... maybe? Hmmm... not to be a complete jerk (okay, for the sake of being a complete jerk ;) ), but isn't that what we call a cop out answer?? :D :D :D

I don't drink a helluva lot....Why? Because beer kills braincells and I don't have many of them left:bloated: :bloated: :bloated:

I'don't drink any more.But then again,I don't drink any less either.