Anybody you know need a sign today?
Jay!
01-31-2002, 06:28 PM
From an email:
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say,
"I'm Stupid."
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.
It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says,
"Hey, you moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol string of bass and this idiot on the dock goes,
"Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" >"Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark-bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...They want you to
jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and - I SWEAR - said,
"Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist. I said,
"Nope; I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says,
"Darn that's hot!"
See? If he'd been wearing his sign,I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.Wouldn't you know
I misjudged the height of a bridge, the truck got stuck, and I couldn't get it out no matter what I tried. I radioed for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ..ok .. no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign .. until he asked, "So ... is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said,
"No, I'm delivering a bridge. Here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said "Are you still here?"
I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today?
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say,
"I'm Stupid."
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.
It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says,
"Hey, you moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol string of bass and this idiot on the dock goes,
"Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" >"Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark-bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...They want you to
jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and - I SWEAR - said,
"Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist. I said,
"Nope; I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says,
"Darn that's hot!"
See? If he'd been wearing his sign,I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.Wouldn't you know
I misjudged the height of a bridge, the truck got stuck, and I couldn't get it out no matter what I tried. I radioed for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ..ok .. no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign .. until he asked, "So ... is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said,
"No, I'm delivering a bridge. Here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said "Are you still here?"
I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today?
MoJoRaCeR
01-31-2002, 06:43 PM
oh yes, my boss definately needs one....he is soooooooo fucking stupid.
taranaki
01-31-2002, 07:05 PM
That is Jeff Foxworthy at his finest! available as audio on all good file sharing networks!
jinushaun
01-31-2002, 10:35 PM
Dude, those are bloody rhetorical questions! They're just making a statement by posing a question they already know the answer to. Jeez.
SickLude
01-31-2002, 10:44 PM
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark-bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. LOL....nice...real nice....
tazdev
01-31-2002, 11:45 PM
Originally posted by jay@af
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.Wouldn't you know
I misjudged the height of a bridge, the truck got stuck, and I couldn't get it out no matter what I tried. I radioed for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ..ok .. no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign .. until he asked, "So ... is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said,
"No, I'm delivering a bridge. Here's your sign."
Just let some air out of ALL tyres and simply drive out from under the bridge:flipa:
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.Wouldn't you know
I misjudged the height of a bridge, the truck got stuck, and I couldn't get it out no matter what I tried. I radioed for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ..ok .. no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign .. until he asked, "So ... is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said,
"No, I'm delivering a bridge. Here's your sign."
Just let some air out of ALL tyres and simply drive out from under the bridge:flipa:
Moppie
02-01-2002, 12:09 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
Just let some air out of ALL tyres and simply drive out from under the bridge:flipa:
*wisper in Tasdev's ear*Pst, it was a joke, hint hint*/whisper* :rolleyes:
Just let some air out of ALL tyres and simply drive out from under the bridge:flipa:
*wisper in Tasdev's ear*Pst, it was a joke, hint hint*/whisper* :rolleyes:
tazdev
02-01-2002, 01:48 AM
Originally posted by Moppie
*wisper in Tasdev's ear*Pst, it was a joke, hint hint*/whisper* :rolleyes:
Gee I never would have noticed that. Thanks for pointing it out there Moppie:p
*wisper in Tasdev's ear*Pst, it was a joke, hint hint*/whisper* :rolleyes:
Gee I never would have noticed that. Thanks for pointing it out there Moppie:p
Moppie
02-01-2002, 02:14 AM
Originally posted by tazdev
Gee I never would have noticed that. Thanks for pointing it out there Moppie:p
Dont mention it mate, Im always happy to help out. :p :D :p
Gee I never would have noticed that. Thanks for pointing it out there Moppie:p
Dont mention it mate, Im always happy to help out. :p :D :p
primera man
02-01-2002, 05:59 AM
Can i have a sign for the wife Jay ??
Just the other day i was mowing the lawns and had just finished and was pushing the mower back up the drive to the shed when the wife come home from work and says..."been doing the lawns?" :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
PMans reply was......"Nah"
PLady...."what you doing with it then"
PMan...."just thought i take it down to the letter box to give it a run then put it back in the shed"
GEZZZZZ :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Just the other day i was mowing the lawns and had just finished and was pushing the mower back up the drive to the shed when the wife come home from work and says..."been doing the lawns?" :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
PMans reply was......"Nah"
PLady...."what you doing with it then"
PMan...."just thought i take it down to the letter box to give it a run then put it back in the shed"
GEZZZZZ :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
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