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Parrot joke
No,not that parrot joke,this one.
Defective parrot
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Gee. I wonder what happened to this poor old Parrot? The poor wee bugger's got no legs!" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a 'defective' parrot". " Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"Too bloody right I did. I got every word!" says the parrot." I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?" the guy asks," Then, answer his....How do you hang on to your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing, but since you asked...I wrap my wee parrot willie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it though, because of my feathers." "Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!"
Actually, without wanting to brag, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, and philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology, however. You really ought to buy me, you know. I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that." "Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, remember, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $50, just make the guy an offer!" So, the guy offers $50 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises, and he's insightful. The guy is stoked. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes; Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the Postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "Well, when the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately." "WHAT?!?" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?" "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nighty and began fondling her - all over!" reported the parrot. "My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?!?" "Then, he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick her, sensually, starting with her breasts and slowly going down....." "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "Damned if I know", relied the parrot. "I got a hard-on and fell off my bloody perch."
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07-30-2002, 08:26 AM
