Got Jokes? [mature]

[crxlvr]

im just posting jokes ive heard, dont blame me for who wrote them or who gets offened, i couldnt care less, and as for the spelling thing, shit happens, noone is perfect.

[dancing queen]

Originally posted by Sham365


"And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?!?", "Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles)

O o

I said (pointing to the small circle) "this is your asshole before prison, ..."

eeeewww:apuke: :apuke: :apuke: :hehehe: :hehehe: :hehehe:

The young parents used code words when discussing sex in front of their children. The terms for intercourse ws "washing machine".
They were lying in bed one night when he said to her, "Darling, washing machine."
"Not now, I've got a headache", she replied.
An hour later, he ran his hand down her leg and said, "Darling, washing machine, please! washing machine."
"I've got a headache!", she complained.
An hour later, feeling sorry for him, she turned to him and said, "O.K. washing machine."
"Don't worry", he replied, "it was a small load so I did it by hand."

The young tourist was exploring the Red Light district of Bangkok and thought we would try one of the well known Parlours.
"Sory", said the Madam "there are no girls available tonight."
Disappointed, he returned to leave.
"Wait!", said the Madam, "we do have a beautiful young female pig available, and she's very popular with many of our clients. I can guarantee you'll enjoy it."
"Why not!" he thought.
He paid his money and had his way with the pig.
It was so enjoyable that he was back at the same Parlour the next night, asking for the pig.
"I'm sorry", said the Madam, "the pig's not available, but there's good show on tonight - a donkey with one of our girls."
He paid his money and took his seat behind the two-way mirror.
"Gee", he said to the man sitting next to him, "this is incredible."
"It's nothing", said the stranger. "You should have been here last night. There was a man fucking a pig."

Pamela Anderson went to the gynecologist for an examination. As the doctor moved his head down betwen her legs he said excitedly, "That's the biggest one I've ever seen! That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"You didn't have to say it twice!", she said with embarrasment.
"I didn't!" he replied.

[crxlvr]

what do you call the space in between a womens tits and her pussy?



a waist.

[taranaki]

Once upon a time,three legendary figures were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules says "You know, everyone says I am the strongest mortal on the earth, but I don't know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot."

Snow White said "You're right! Everyone says I am the fairest, but how can I be sure?"

Quasimodo agrees. "Yeah, and I'm supposed to be the ugliest!"

Suddenly Snow White has an idea. "You know, guys, I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God to tell us the truth."

Hercules says "Great, Let's meet tomorrow and tell our tales."

Quasimodo gets up to leave and says "See you tomorrow. Boy, I'm going to find out for certain that I'm the ugliest."

The next day, they meet at a restaurant in town. Hercules says, "I talked to God, and He says that I am truly the strongest."

Snow White says, "So did I, and I am truly the fairest."

Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is Primera Man?"

[ragt20]

Originally posted by taranaki
Once upon a time,three legendary figures were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules says "You know, everyone says I am the strongest mortal on the earth, but I don't know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot."

Snow White said "You're right! Everyone says I am the fairest, but how can I be sure?"

Quasimodo agrees. "Yeah, and I'm supposed to be the ugliest!"

Suddenly Snow White has an idea. "You know, guys, I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God to tell us the truth."

Hercules says "Great, Let's meet tomorrow and tell our tales."

Quasimodo gets up to leave and says "See you tomorrow. Boy, I'm going to find out for certain that I'm the ugliest."

The next day, they meet at a restaurant in town. Hercules says, "I talked to God, and He says that I am truly the strongest."

Snow White says, "So did I, and I am truly the fairest."

Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is Primera Man?"

ROFTLMAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! I love it Mr T..............
you better start running like mad b4 P-man gets here..... :hehehe: :hehehe:

Originally posted by taranaki
Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is Primera Man?"

LOL

Aww naww, hell naww! Just called him out on AF.

LOL

[speediva]

Originally posted by taranaki
Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is Primera Man?"

Here's hoping you can run FAST and FAR.... cause you're gonna have one FURIOUS guy after ya!

[tazdev]

Mr T's going to be in trouble











Nice work Taranaki

[hdtboy]

Mr T is a legend i hope Mr P man doesn't try to get him back for his genious

[taranaki]

Originally posted by hdtboy
Mr T is a legend i hope Mr P man doesn't try to get him back for his genious

why thank you.............




I'll keep an eye out for him........