Doctor DVS

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Primera Man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to Primera Man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" Primera Man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." Then Primera Mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" Primera Man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quite." Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" Primera Man replies, "I did not know that" "WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" Primera Man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curious, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!" :hehe:

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Primera man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed Primera man a citation, and then as he turned to walk back to his cruiser, Primera man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked Primera man.

"Um, yeah... so," a startled Primera man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch ALL the fish?"



Check and Mate!

[primera man]

A woman was very distraught at the fact she had not had a date nor
any sex in quite some time. Afraid she might have something wrong with her, she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
Her personal physician recommended Dr. DVS, a well-known Chinese
sex therapist. So she went and saw him. Upon entering the examination
room,
Dr DVS took one look at her and said, "OK, take off aw your crows."
She quickly disrobed and stood naked before him. "Now," said DVS,
"get dow on knees and craw reery, reery, fass away from me to the other side of room."
Having done what Dr. DVS said, "Okay, now turn around and craw
reery, reery fass to me."
Once again she obliged. Dr. DVS slowly shook his head, "OK, your
probrem vaywe, vaywe bad, you have Ed Zachary Disease....worse case
I ever see... that why you not have dates, that why you not have sex."
Confused, the woman asked, "What is Ed Zachary Disease?" DVS
replied,
"It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."

[primera man]

DVS and a woman were having drinks, getting to know
one another and started bantering back and forth about
male/female issues. They talked about who was better
in certain sports, who were the better entertainers,
etc. The flirting continued for more than an hour
when the topic of sex came up. So they got into an
argument about who enjoyed sex more.

DVS said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than
women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with
getting laid?" He then went on for several hours
arguing his point, even going so far as to ask other
men in the bar for their opinions. The woman listened
quietly until the DVS was finished making his point.
Confident in the strength of his argument, DVS
awaited her response.
That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered.

"Think about this - When your ear itches and you put
your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then
pull it out, which feels better - your ear or your finger?

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Primera man sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chile.
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full.
Primera man says, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
Primera man takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes! the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

[DVSNCYNIKL]

This duck walks into a convenience store that Primera mans' the clerk of and asks "Do you have any grapes?" Primera man says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" Primera man again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" Primera man screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two bloody days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the bloody floor!!" The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?" Primera man replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?":jump:

[YogsVR4]

:ylsuper

[DVSNCYNIKL]

And the DVS One still holds the crown!!

[primera man]

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL
And the DVS One still holds the crown!!

Only because its 320am !!!....but the PMan will rest up for awile to fight the war another day
Muhahahahahaha

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Originally posted by primera man

Only because its 320am !!!....but the PMan will rest up for awile to fight the war another day
Muhahahahahaha

Yeah, you rest up now. Gives me plenty of time to rack up on ammo and put you back into the dungeons of AF for a while.:smoka:

[primera man]

Originally posted by DVSNCYNIKL


Yeah, you rest up now. Gives me plenty of time to rack up on ammo and put you back into the dungeons of AF for a while.:smoka:

Victory will be short my young skywalker.....because the PMan will strike back and crush you again to rule the threads of AF again.

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Originally posted by primera man

Victory will be short my young skywalker.....because the PMan will strike back and crush you again to rule the threads of AF again.

[primera man]

[SkYLiNeFrEaK]

IT's hella funny watching ya'all make jokes about each other......

[ragt20]

P-man had only been married for two weeks. He, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies, so he says to Mrs P_man, “Honey, I’ll be right back......”
“Where are you going coochy cooh?” asked P-Lady.
“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’m going to have a beer.”
P_lady says to him, “You want a beer my love?” Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, Indiana, etc.
P Man doesn’t know what to do, and the only thing he can think of to say is “Yes, loolie loolie....but the bar...you know...the frozen glass....”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, when the his wife interrupts him by saying “You want a frozen glass puppy face?” She takes a huge mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.
P Man, looking a bit pale, says “Yes tootsie, roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious...I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise OK?”
“You want hors d’oeuvres poochi pooh?”
She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres; chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, port strips, etc.
“But sweet honey....at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that...”


“You want dirty words cutie pie?...




HERE, DRINK YOUR F*CKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F*CKING MUG AND EAT YOUR F*CKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT A**HOLE?!”



:finger: :finger:


Doc I'm right beside ya :evillaugh: