Just wrote this, comments?

[speediva]

That's really awesome!

And I truly hate to do this, as I'm going to look like a beeotch... but there's something about the last line of the first stanza that doesn't seem to flow for me. Then again, I've never been very good at serious poetry. I'm more of a Robert Frost kind of cynic. I only write this to be honest, and leave it to show for my lacking poetic proficiency.

But I truly like everything else about it. The images really formed from the words. Very cool!

[Moppie]

So what do you play in the band Terminal?

If its Lead Guitar, then I believe we might have the first ever internet forum Band.

Ladies and gentlemen!
Introducing for your entertianment pleasure!

The AFers!!!!!!!!

(crowd goes wild)
:ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper :ylsuper

[TerminalVelocity]

if its got strings, I can play it (poorly for now...but whatever) so yah, I could do lead :bandit:

[TerminalVelocity]

and about the last line, first...what you called it

I know it dosent flow well, but I had to throw it in because it has special meaning to whom I wrote it for

[Ando_Rules]

wow man preety deep, and it was also very good i like it a lot man, ya and if u can u should make it into a song it should do well

[AEstud]

a little on the pessimistic side but good