SERIOUSLY OT: Keep whoring alive, it's THREAD #5!!!

[CivicSpoon]

Sorry but my white guilt will not allow me to participate in this conversation.

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by CivicSpoon

Sorry but my white guilt will not allow me to participate in this conversation.

He means his white power guilt.


Did you know Hitlers middle name was Spoon?

[CivicSpoon]

Originally Posted by 00accord44

Their lawn is immaculate though

Ok...maybe this conversation.

OF COURSE their lawn is immaculate. I bet for Christmas, their daughter not only got that pink Razor scooter, but a leaf blower as well. She probably got a Home Depot credit card too, but likely won't find out about that until her 18th birthday when she applies for a school loan... if ya know what I mean.

[CivicSpoon]

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

He means his white power guilt.


Did you know Hitlers middle name was Spoon?

Ok you got me. But my name isn't really Adolf Spoon Hitler. It's actually Adolf Spoon MacLeod, of the Clan MacLeod (not that kind of clan). And yes, I am immortal, as well as the basis for an amazing movie, Highlander. Seriously, it won the Academy Award for the greatest movie ever. But really, it was all a huge misunderstanding. Some banker screwed up one of my deposits, then my lawyer over charged me, and then some Rabbi jewed me over on some some work I did on his Beetle. I lost my cool, and things just got out of hand after that.

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by 00accord44

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen....

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by CivicSpoon

Ok you got me. But my name isn't really Adolf Spoon Hitler. It's actually Adolf Spoon MacLeod, of the Clan MacLeod (not that kind of clan). And yes, I am immortal, as well as the basis for an amazing movie, Highlander. Seriously, it won the Academy Award for the greatest movie ever. But really, it was all a huge misunderstanding. Some banker screwed up one of my deposits, then my lawyer over charged me, and then some Rabbi jewed me over on some some work I did on his Beetle. I lost my cool, and things just got out of hand after that.

This is the greatest thing I've ever read.

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by CivicSpoon

Ok...maybe this conversation.

OF COURSE their lawn is immaculate. I bet for Christmas, their daughter not only got that pink Razor scooter, but a leaf blower as well. She probably got a Home Depot credit card too, but likely won't find out about that until her 18th birthday when she applies for a school loan... if ya know what I mean.

You live next to Dora the Explorer?

[CivicSpoon]

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

Do people in the projects really open fire hydrants on hot days, usually with an abandoned car near by?

I don't know about the projects (the only time I've been down there was to buy heroin), but they do it throughout the city of Syracuse.

Seriously, they close down public swimming pools during mid summer, and always for the hottest damn week. Why? Who the hell knows, but every frigging year they have a reason. Then they announce that they will fine people for "wading" in a huge fountain right in downtown, that they have no problem using as a big ass skating rink during the winter. Raycess for fucking real.

But all summer long, if I drive pretty much anywhere in any side of the City, I can find a corner with a spraying hydrant. But here's the kicker, I never see anyone actually anywhere near it LOL. Presumably someone cracked it open for their kids & local kids to cool off for a little while, and then just left that shit open all freaking day. Driving around at night, not a single one is open, just a big puddle at the corner of the street.

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by CivicSpoon

I don't know about the projects (the only time I've been down there was to buy heroin), but they do it throughout the city of Syracuse.

Seriously, they close down public swimming pools during mid summer, and always for the hottest damn week. Why? Who the hell knows, but every frigging year they have a reason. Then they announce that they will fine people for "wading" in a huge fountain right in downtown, that they have no problem using as a big ass skating rink during the winter. Raycess for fucking real.

But all summer long, if I drive pretty much anywhere in any side of the City, I can find a corner with a spraying hydrant. But here's the kicker, I never see anyone actually anywhere near it LOL. Presumably someone cracked it open for their kids & local kids to cool off for a little while, and then just left that shit open all freaking day. Driving around at night, not a single one is open, just a big puddle at the corner of the street.

Fire departments open them periodically to get sediment out of the lines. Probably whats going on?

[TheSilentChamber]

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

Fire departments open them periodically to get sediment out of the lines. Probably whats going on?

On a related topic, the hydrants at my apartment say IOWA on them.... (I live in Oregon)...

[CivicSpoon]

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

You live next to Dora the Explorer?

Naw, just a bunch of Polacks. I just happen to live in an area where the basis of stereotypes began apparently. If I drive in the city there are a shit load of Mexicans standing around in the morning, in front of Home Depot & Lowes, looking for work. I had no idea that stereotype was real until my Korean friend pointed out that his dad hires them for construction & yard work on a regular basis.

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

Fire departments open them periodically to get sediment out of the lines. Probably whats going on?

Very possible. Maybe I'm just a severely repressed racist that thinks people of the black and puerto rican communities illegally open fire hydrants to cool off on a hot day, rather than it being a typical maintenance measure. Thanks for calling me out on that man.

Originally Posted by TheSilentChamber

On a related topic, the hydrants at my apartment say IOWA on them.... (I live in Oregon)...

WTF does the IO stand for? Maybe part of the county? My local area tower says OCWA (Onondaga County Water Association). When I was a kid, I knew water pronounced in Spanish was Agua, but had no idea how it was spelled. So I was always confused why the tower was written in Spanish and not English.

[CivicSpoon]

Ok, so my friend decided he wanted to be a professional comedian about a year ago. He's always been a very funny person, and it certainly doesn't hurt that he has a resemblance to Chris Farley. He's come up with quite a few jokes that were pretty good, IMO. But he bugs the shit out of me to think of jokes for him. I've only come up with one joke, that he'll never use. So here it is for my enjoyment...

So I thought of this invention the other day. It's a Jello mold of a vagina. It's perfect, because once you've finished, you have something to eat. The only problem is, that you still need a woman to cook it for you.

[00accord44]

Well wait a minute... how long does he plan to last as a comedian if he has no jokes!?

Originally Posted by CivicSpoon

So I thought of this invention the other day. It's a Jello mold of a vagina. It's perfect, because once you've finished, you have something to eat. The only problem is, that you still need a woman to cook it for you.

^this shit is quality though

[00accord44]

....completely disgusting, and quality. I'm actually picturing a jello vag "after"

[00accord44]

Now that I think of it, I'm gonna use this joke tomorrow at the bar and see where it gets me. Thats a great conversation starter