I haven't felt so sad in months...

[TexasF355F1]

Well, I just got in a huge fight with my parents and caused a scene at a restaurant. And for what....fucking stupid-ass World Series tickets. They are giving me their tickets for Tuesday nights game and since there's an extra ticket I could take whomever I wanted.

I decided against a friend because, hell I give a shit about their feelings alright! I couldn't choose. So I decided to invite my cousin that is away at school (bout 8 hours away). We use to be real close when we were younger. In the past couple of years we've became a lot closer again. Talk every now and again and I knew he would really appreciate going.

As soon as I mention it, their faces almost turn to stone. They start saying well yall aren't close, yall never hang out, blah blah blah. I have my own damn reasons. Esepcially as of late since I've moved back home, it's as though no decision I make is right. Especially in my moms eyes. Nothing I say is right, even if I what I say is 110% fact.

All this does is just keep pushing me farther and farther away. I'm already to the point where I hardly enjoy spending time with my family. I don't enjoy family parties like I use to. I see it more as a chore than fun. We're having a party tomorrow too. We'll just see how long I end up staying there, especially in the mood I'll undoubtably be in.

I haven't felt this sad or depressed in months and I HATE IT!!! I don't even want to go to the game anymore. All the fun I was looking forward to has been sucked out of it. Why can't I have my own life where my choices aren't viewed as though I'm 10 years old again. I'm glad I'm going to be starting a job next week to start going to.

I just don't get it....I just don't.

[mike1224]

i hear you there man, I barly ever talk to my parents. I live a under 3 miles from them work a block away from them, and still talk to them maybe once a month. As far as I see it, they pushed me away, always snooping, prying, trying to have control of everything. I got into the mood, where all i wanted to do was die (i even thought out ways) they still do not know how i felt all of the time I was living with them. I think part of it, was that it really is a dysfunctional set of adults that should have never gotten together. I had those same feelings of sadness, for most of middle school to the last year or so. I hate to be an ass, but sometimes its better to turn your back and make an occasional (2-3 times a year) visit.

[Oz]

Texas, it sounds like your parents (Mum especially) are having trouble letting go of "their little boy" and accepting you as you are - a grown adult man, who is perfectly capable of running his own life without their constant attention and input.

Why? Hmm...does your Mum work? What does she occupy herself with (hobbies, interests etc)? Do you have any other siblings?

I would guess that subconsciously she recognizes you are old enough to make your own decisions and run your own affairs, but deep down resents the fact that she now feels 'obsolete'. It's a total power play, and it's unfair on you at the moment.

I suggest riding it out, whilst demonstrating exactly how capable you are of taking care of yourself without being facetious about it. Try and establish some common ground, and build a functional adult relationship with your parents. DO NOT bring yourself down to their level with petty arguing and bickering, because in some ways that will justify your parents actions (even though they are the instigators here). Just remain calm and rational and in control, explain your actions and their justifications and re-dictate the terms the relationship works on.

And remember - being happy is a choice and a state of mind that is independent of your situation and surroundings!



/ramblings

[TexasF355F1]

Thanks for your input guys. Things are a little strained today, but a little better. I'm not really in a bad mood, which I'm sort of surprised at. Guess keeping this positive attitude for the past month and a half has really helped change my mindset.

Oz, thanks for your kind words. You actually sort of shocked me with your sensitivity. My mom has never been able to let go and that has been pretty unnerving.

She does work but in the past year or she's gone down to 2 days a week. Not saying that she has to work, but I think she needs to work more often. I am an only child as well so that does make things different. I do have an adult relationship with them 99% of the time. But she still second guesses my judgement on everything. I'm typically the most rational but yesterday I just had to blow up.

My dad actually mentioned that everyday she's turning more and more into her mom and that scares him. I know I am lucky to have great parents and the fact they haven't been divorced. It's a rarity these days. Luckily I'll be starting work this week and be moving out by the end of this year or beginning of next. That will also remove any other tension.

You're complete right about happiness being a mindset. I'm managed to find the happy mindset recently and my attitude and demenour has changed for the better. Probably why I'm not in that bad of a mood today.

Thanks again for the words.

[I_Heart_Chevy]

How old is your cousin?

There's a chance your parents didn't want you to go with him because maybe he got in trouble with the police or something. Maybe they didn't want him to 'Influence' you. A lot of teens think they aren't influenced by those people at all...but really are.

If they had no suggestions as to who else you could bring, then its obvious they didn't want you to go with him for a reason. Ask them what the actual reason is. It doesn't make sense that they got in a major argument with you because 'you two arent very close'.

wow OZ, My thaughts exactly....I never thaught you had a sencetive (sp?) side....