Just cant take it anymore

[TerminalVelocity]

My fiance broke it off with me 2 months ago, under the guise we were "seperated"

The day she broke it off with me is the day she bothered to tell me what was buigging her for the last year of the relationship...., I tried to get her to tell me before but all she would do is yell.

Now I wasnt perfect, no way in hell was I! But alot of the things I was doing I didnt know buged her, and one thing, when I stoped touching her as much was after she not only cheated *not exactly...but yah...long story* but fucked up a very important day for me.

And now, nomater how much I changed, and how much I try she still gets distant, and then close, real close and talks of how she wants the relationship. Then she turns around and gets distant all over again. Today she got mad and said this isnt a seperation, its a break up. For fucks sake were roomates and she keeps telling me nice shit and means it, its obvious when shes lying. Then she gets a thorn up her ass and changes.

I just want her back, I would do anything...except leave...because I dont think I could take ever being with her again. The only consolation I have is I know shes not fucking some guy(s)...but still...Im hurt more than I ever have been...and all I want is to have this shit pass and be back with her.....

[drewh4386]

Have you both recently just sat down alone and tried to talk about it? Maybe that can clear things up for the both of you. Not communicating ruins a lot of relationships and frienships. She agreed to marry you and still doesn't know you? That is confusing to me.

[quteasabutton]

u could try a relationship counselour to help u guys calmly talk thru it so u accomplish things instead of just getting pissed and have a shouting match. my bf and i of 9 months never fought a single time, so i wouldn't know much about dealing with that sort of stuff. hope it all works out for the best

[MBTN]

Call it off. I'm sorry to say this. Don't let yourself be treated like this. My best friend went through this back in December (they were engaged too). She told him she hoped he died and she hated him. He tried to fix it. She gave him the same crap. I helped him out and he decided to start "fresh". He stopped trying to contact her and all that stuff. She started trying to call him again. She wants him back and all that crap. Just to think, the same person that called off the wedding and told him she hated him now wants him back. Now he's making 6 figures and has 3 brand new cars. Move on. It'll hurt, but you'll get through.

[xokayxo]

if she's being distant and then wants to be close and then gets distant again, she's got something on her mind that she's not sure about. it might have to do with you, it might have to do with something about herself, or something even totally unrelated to your relationship. talking about it would probably clear things up but remember that you cant make her talk about anything she doesnt want to talk about. and don't beat a dead horse: if you've asked her fifty times what her deal is and she still cant tell you, she's more than likely got things that she just may need to sort out by herself. and that may take a while. but be ready for when she DOES want to talk about it and let her know that when she does, you'll be all ears.

[sivic02]

The way I look at it, she cheated on you. Im not sure what you mean by the not exactly thing but if she cheated on you, kick the bitch to the curb.

But honestly, the way to get her to want to be back with you or for her to decide that she definately doesnt want to have anything to do with you is to give her space. Go hang out with friends after work/school whatever you do. Spend as much time as you can away from her, that gives her a chance to think about you. When people think about things they either only remember the good things or the bad things. If you have had more good things than bad things happen hopefully she will remember those. Just what I would do if I were you.

[fredjacksonsan]

Sucks that she's on again, off again. Seems she has issues she's not talking to you about. Time for a sit down conversation, tell her you're not going to put up with the nice/nasty anymore. Had a gf in college that was that way, it was quite a relief when it was over; if your gf keeps it up after "the talk", make sure it's over as it will be no end of grief if you stay with her.

[TexasF355F1]

She's a bitch run away as fast as you can. My friend was engaged to this girl, then she broke it off and moved away. Then she made contact with him saying she wanted to get back together. He said you have to prove to me that you want to be with me before I'll give you the ring back. She moved back. Not long after she broke it off again. I feel so bad for my friend b/c he doesn't deserve it to happen not only once but twice. He hasn't been the same since.

I wish you the best, but don't expect it to go well.

[-Jayson-]

1 word, Bipolar

[YogsVR4]

You may take a little solace in the fact almost all of us have been down that path at least once in our life. Its not easy, but time does heal the wounds. Just do your best to not let it dominate your life.













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[TerminalVelocity]

Originally Posted by xokayxo

if she's being distant and then wants to be close and then gets distant again, she's got something on her mind that she's not sure about. it might have to do with you, it might have to do with something about herself, or something even totally unrelated to your relationship. talking about it would probably clear things up but remember that you cant make her talk about anything she doesnt want to talk about. and don't beat a dead horse: if you've asked her fifty times what her deal is and she still cant tell you, she's more than likely got things that she just may need to sort out by herself. and that may take a while. but be ready for when she DOES want to talk about it and let her know that when she does, you'll be all ears.

Well, she never sits down and has a "talk" she always says "I just want to talk about this later"

Finally she told me that she just cant find the right words when she trys to talk to me and dosent want to fuck things up. And she does have a problem with words. So I decided we would write letters to eachother to try to talk. And she said she needs to find who she is, part of the reason were split up.

Thanks for all the kind words and advice...this shit sucks especally because she was so perfect for such a liong time...oh well....

[CivRacer95]

Here's what you do. Go pick up Red. Go down to Dell Taco and slap down some quesadillas. Slapping down quesadillas always works like a charm .

Honestly though, if you are trying to change yourself just to be with this gal, it isn't worth it. Judging by the vid I saw of you and Red, I would say you are a very nice guy, and you seem to deserve better than this. Really, she says she needs to find out who she is? That's just her excuse to try and get out of this relationship. Just get out yourself and move on.

Although, you could end up back together, but what good would that do? Eventually the same thing will happen later down the road, and it could end up being worse. You're young, start fresh, move on, and live a happier life without her. You're a good looking guy (as gay as that sounds) but you seem to have a fun personality. If this girl wants to "take a break" then take the opportunity to date more. Meet more girls out there. Make sure that this girl is the one for you. If she is worth all this trouble/drama then I'd say try and make it work. But really, from what you say, she doesn't sound like anyone I'd be too happy to meet.

Just move on my friend. There's a better person out there for you. And don't change who you really are just to try and impress someone else, or to even try and be with them. In the end, you are only hurting yourself more and more. Take care, and good luck bud.