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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
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Lou: I love baseball. When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' names on the team, so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able
to know those fellows? Bud: All right. But you know, strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very perculiar names, nick names, like "Dizzy Dean." Now on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third -- Lou: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team. Bud: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third -- Lou: You know the fellows' names? Bud: Yes. Lou: Well, then who's playin' first? Bud: Yes. Lou: I mean the fellow's name on first base. Bud: Who. Lou: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis. Bud: Who. Lou: The guy on first base. Bud: Who is on first. Lou: Well, what are you askin' me for? Bud: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling you. WHO IS ON FIRST! Lou: I'm asking you -- who's on first? Bud: That's the man's name! Lou: That's who's name? Bud: Yes. Lou: Well, go ahead and tell me. Bud: Who. Lou: The guy on first. Bud: Who. Lou: The first baseman. Bud: Who is on first. Lou: Have you got a first baseman on first? Bud: Certainly. Lou: Then who's playing first. Bud: Absolutely. Lou: (pause) When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Bud: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man's entitled to it. Lou: Who is? Bud: Yes. Lou: So who gets it? Bud: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Lou: Who's wife? Bud: Yes. After all the man earns it. Lou: Who does? Bud: Absolutely. Lou: Well all I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base. Bud: Oh, no, no, What is on second base. Lou: I'm not asking you who's on second. Bud: Who's on first. Lou: That's what I'm trying to find out. Bud: Well, don't change the players around. Lou: I'm not changing nobody! Bud: Now, take it easy. Lou: What's the guy's name on first base? Bud: What's the guy's name on second base. Lou: I'm not askin' ya who's on second. Bud: Who's on first. Lou: I don't know. Bud: He's on third. We're not talking about him. Lou: How could I get on third base? Bud: You mentioned his name. Lou: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Bud: No, Who's playing first. Lou: Stay off first, will ya? Bud: Well what do you want me to do? Lou: Now what's the guy's name on first base? Bud: What's on second. Lou: I'm not asking ya who's on second. Bud: Who's on first. Lou: I don't know. Bud: He's on third. Lou: There I go back on third again. Bud: Well, I can't change their names. Lou: Say, will you please stay on third base. Bud: Please. Now what is it you want to know. Lou: What is the fellow's name on third base. Bud: What is the fellow's name on second base. Lou: I'm not askin' ya who's on second. Bud: Who's on first. Lou: I don't know. Bud: THIRD BASE! Lou: You got an outfield? Bud: Oh, sure. Lou: St. Louis has got a good outfield? Bud: Oh, absolutely. Lou: The left fielder's name? Bud: Why. Lou: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask. Bud: Well, I just thought I'd tell you. Lou: Then tell me who's playing left field. Bud: Who's playing first. Lou: Stay out of the infield! Bud: Don't mention any names out there. Lou: I want to know what's the fellow's name in left field? Bud: What is on second. Lou: I'm not askin' ya who's on second. Bud: Who is on first. Lou: I don't know. Bud & Lou: (together calmly) Third base. Lou: And the left fielder's name? Bud: Why. Lou: Because. Bud: On he's center field. Lou: (whimpers) Center field. Bud: Yes. Lou: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on this team? Bud: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher? Lou: I don't know. Tell me the pitcher's name. Bud: Tomorrow. Lou: You don't want to tell me today? Bud: I'm telling you man. Lou: Then go ahead. Bud: Tomorrow. Lou: What time? Bud: What time what? Lou: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching? Bud: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on -- Lou: I'LL BREAK YOUR ARM IF YOU SAY "WHO'S ON FIRST!" Bud: Then why come up here and ask? Lou: I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Bud: What's on second. Lou: I don't know. Bud & Lou: (very quickly) THIRD BASE! Lou: You gotta catcher? Bud: Yes. Lou: The catcher's name? Bud: Today. Lou: Today. And Tomorrow's pitching. Bud: Now you've got it. Lou: That's all. St. Louis has a couple of days on their team? Bud: Well I can't help that. Lou: You know I'm a good catcher too. Bud: I know that. Lou: I would like to play for the St. Louis team. Bud: Well, I might arrange that. Lou: I would like to catch. Now I'm being a good catcher, Tomorrow's pitching on the team, and I'm catching. Bud: Yes. Lou: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy up, bunts the ball. Bud: Yes. Lou: Now when he bunts the ball -- me being a good catcher -- I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Bud: Now that's the first thing you've said right. Lou: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Bud: Well, that's all you have to do. Lou: Is to throw it to first base. Bud: Yes. Lou: Now who's got it? Bud: Naturally. Lou: Who has it? Bud: Naturally. Lou: Naturally? Bud: Naturally. Lou: O.K. Bud: Now you've got it. Lou: I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally. Bud: No you don't, you throw the ball to first base. Lou: Then who gets it? Bud: Naturally. Lou: O.K. Bud: All right. Lou: I throw the ball to Naturally. Bud: You don't, you throw it to Who. Lou: Naturally. Bud: Well, naturally. Say it that way. Lou: That's what I said. Bud: You did not. Lou: I said I'd throw the ball to Naturally. Bud: You don't. You throw it to Who. Lou: Naturally. Bud: Yes. Lou: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it. Bud: No! You throw the ball to first base -- Lou: Then who gets it? Bud: Naturally. Lou: That's what I'm saying. Bud: You're not saying that. Lou: I throw the ball to Naturally. Bud: You throw it to Who! Lou: Naturally. Bud: Naturally. Well say it that way. Lou: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! Bud: Now don't get excited. Lou: Who's gettin' excited!! I throw the ball to first base -- Bud: Then Who gets it. Lou: (annoyed) HE BETTER GET IT! Bud: That's it. All right now, take it easy. Lou: Hrmmph. Bud: Hrmmph. Lou: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second. Bud: Uh-huh. Lou: Who picks up the ball and throws is to what. What throws it to I don't know. I don't know throws it back to tommorrow -- a triple play. Bud: Yeah, it could be. Lou: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to center. Why? I don't know, he's on third, and I don't give a darn! Bud: What did you say? Lou: I said, "I don't give a darn." Bud: Oh, that's our shortstop! Lou: ABBOTT! Classic!
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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#2
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Truely one of the greats of all time!
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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#3
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Its ok as text, but its the best actually seeing the part where they say that, and there expressions and stuff...Now THAT is funny
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My Wheels 15' Kia Soul SX 2.0L 13' GMC 1500 P/U 5.3L |
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#4
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That is true HM, however, I doubt most members can appreciate the humour those two have brought us. I always watch their shows if I happen to catch them.
__________________
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#5
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Do you know how long it took me to read that and understand it ......
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Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!! ![]() ![]() View All My Models Here. |
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#6
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Quote:
But I bet it was worth the time right?
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My Wheels 15' Kia Soul SX 2.0L 13' GMC 1500 P/U 5.3L |
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#7
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Poor PM!!!
Lemme rephrase so you get it: Baaa Baa ba Ba Baa Baa Ba Baaaaaaaaaaaa Get it now?
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Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines |
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#8
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Quote:
OUCH!!! :hehehe::hehehe:
__________________
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#9
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Quote:
...j/k
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Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!! ![]() ![]() View All My Models Here. |
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#10
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I'm sorry...
*kisses PM on the cheek* Forgive me?
__________________
Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines |
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#11
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Quote:
(BLUSHING)...... Back down primera lady !!!
__________________
Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!! ![]() ![]() View All My Models Here. |
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#12
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PL: I'm just playin'!!!
Don't hate me b/c I'm beautiful.... hate me b/c PM thinks so! I'm just a giant joker, honest
__________________
Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines |
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#13
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Extra Marital affairs PM, how so not cool.
Print Screen Attach to email Send You've got mail!
__________________
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#14
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D@mn!!!! You are more DVS than I eve thought!!!!! :hehe:
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Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines |
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#15
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Quote:
Blackmail You've also got mail!!!Muahahahaha
__________________
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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