Adults have no friends

[dumb ass]

Ever notice how a good number of adults have no friends whatsoever? What's that all about?

If you are a friendless adult, can you tell us a.) when you stopped making friends and b.) the reason for your friendlessness?

[Steel]

Dunno, it's just something that happens when you get old.

['97ventureowner]

From what I've seen many adults get too wrapped up in their own lives or careers to the point they have no time to get out and socialize. I guess making more money or trying to gain a higher stature is more important than making new friends. Add to that the division of the classes,( those that are considered the "haves" versus those who are considered the "have nots" ) further adds to the problem of obtaining and keeping friends. People tend to stay in their own "social class" and not go out of the "boundaries".

[dumb ass]

Originally Posted by '97ventureowner

Add to that the division of the classes,( those that are considered the "haves" versus those who are considered the "have nots" ) further adds to the problem of obtaining and keeping friends. People tend to stay in their own "social class" and not go out of the "boundaries".

Indeed, people avoid those from other social classes that are outside of their boundaries. But why do they do this? I think it's basically because it would suck to hang out with those people for any number of reasons. So in a nutshell, that is just one example of a myriad of sucky social situations. The thing is, social situations in general have a STRONG tendency to suck, both within and without conventional boundaries and norms. A fun party will always be the exception, not the rule, to the norm. Perhaps we come to understand this more as we get older? Since, more and more, everything we do is a means to an end, do we choose to disregard friendships that serve no functional purpose? I think so. But as far as I'm concerned, hanging out with people sucks unless it's a hot girl, but that's only because I haven't been laid in a while (8 days). More often than not, I go somewhere with friends to get away from my fucking annoying roommates, rather than out of a desire for good company.

CLIFF NOTES: a paragraph of hairbrained nonsense "cultivated" by a guy who lives up to his sn

[thrasher]

Adults don't have friends because they realize that most people suck at being friends. You find a few people that you can really count on, who you really like, and everyone else just comes and goes through your life.

[RaeRae1]

I would not say adults do not have friends, but rather their friendships are often less abundant due to the ever growing responsibilities of being an adult.

Children play a HUGE role in friendship circles as well. When you have kids your friends that do not tend to shy away from you.

I have several friends, and I value them dearly but I don't get a chance to be with them very often. We have a few parties when a good birthday rolls around and we love getting together. The reality is, when you become an adult, you lose freedoms and time to every growing repsonsibilities. You keep only the friends who are truely friends and disregard the rest simply because you don't have time and/or energy to play social games. Another thing I have noticed as I have gotten older is that you stop pretending to be something your not (thank god) so the friendships you held simply to be part of the "in" crowd are no longer of any value.

That is my $.02

[BrodyP]

Originally Posted by thrasher

Adults don't have friends because they realize that most people suck at being friends.

Exactly. I have lost a lot of friends as I got older and more as I settled in my relationship.

[drunken monkey]

i say:
it's when you are an adult and working full time and have a family that you know who your friends really are. Until then, the people you hang out with when you have nothing to do, are just people you hang out with when you have nothing to do.

[RaeRae1]

Originally Posted by drunken monkey

i say:
it's when you are an adult and working full time and have a family that you know who your friends really are. Until then, the people you hang out with when you have nothing to do, are just people you hang out with when you have nothing to do.

+1

There are only a few of my old friends that I truely miss. The ones that I have now are in exactly the same position that I am and understand when I don't call or talk to them for a month. True friends that will always be there when I really need them, and they can count on the same from me.

There are days when I feel like a social moron because we aren't going out or having friends over, then I remember all the information above and it all becomes clear again.

[bstwt]

when you are young, you have lots of "so-called" friends and you do foolish things...when you are an adult you turn away from those things and take on more mature adult things such as working, paying bills and don't have the time nor need for as many friends.

['97ventureowner]

I'd like to add to my previous post that I also think it's harder to have friends,(or gain new ones) as you get older. My wife and I are going on 12 years of marriage. Before we got married , we used to spend a lot of time at our friends' houses playing cards, drinking, watching movies, etc. Over time, friends get married and settle into a new life, others get a different job that affects their free time, some move away, and others who have also settled down with family obligations are too busy with conflicting schedules between work, the kids school and extra curricular activities take away most if not all of their free time. After we got married, we thought about increasing our circle of friends so that we would have more opportunities, but after a short while realized it was harder than it seemed. The reason was many of the things I previously outlined cut into their schedules. There were many times we scheduled something only to have it canceled because something came up. I think it's harder to make new friends in your 30's through the early '40s, but might get easier as we age and realize the importance of friendships, plus schedules tend to be a tad lighter as we get older and some of the things that kept us away back then are no longer pertinent. I don't know... that's just my theory. Check back with me in 10 to 12 years and I'll let you know if that's true

[Ian Szgatti]

For my last post before "MagicRat" bans me, let me say that I don't have many friends anymore because I don't trust to many fuckers around me. Human beings are opportunistic, and for the most part, cannot control themselves. I see it in myself, so I know it's in others.
I am now of course slightly more paranoid than I should be, and that does cause me some concern, but for the most part, I just stay behind that line. I love dealing with customers at the shop, helping people if I can, but I just don't make many close friendships. Ultimately, it's not worth it.

Think about the fellas you could drink with. Notice how when someone leaves the room, or the gathering for the evening, there is always some gossip to be spilled out about the person... you know that happens when you leave too.

I congradulate anybody who is strong enough to be a bit of a loner, but yet not be a fucking weirdo. When you cut your own path, you are more enlightened, and in the end, see more of the big picture.

[drunken monkey]

Originally Posted by Ian Szgatti

Human beings are opportunistic, and for the most part, cannot control themselves. I see it in myself, so I know it's in others.

that's your first error.

Originally Posted by Ian Szgatti

I congradulate anybody who is strong enough to be a bit of a loner, but yet not be a fucking weirdo. When you cut your own path, you are more enlightened, and in the end, see more of the big picture.

that's your second.

[72chevelleOhio]

Originally Posted by Ian Szgatti

I congradulate anybody who is strong enough to be a bit of a loner, but yet not be a fucking weirdo.

whats wrong with weird???

[Ian Szgatti]

Originally Posted by drunken monkey

that's your first error.



that's your second.

is this one of those, 'is the glass half empty or half full' things now? I don't even know what your getting at here.