Rules for us men....ladies...deal with it !!!

[primera man]

Male Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
> put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is
that married women always cut their hair, and by then your stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints
do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor!!!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what
mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care
about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.

. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or motorbikes.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Ayman

[ac427cpe]

hehehe... seen it before... still very funny!

[darkness]

don't forget.......

1. Belching and Farting are a fact of life, if we do not do these we will explode.

[curious]

Sometimes you are sad... and no one sees you cry
Sometimes you are happy... and no one sees you smile
But the times you fart... trust me... people smell that shit!