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| COMPLETELY off-topic Talk about anything other than cars. But you can't be mad and angry in this forum! |
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#1
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Smart Arse
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"? JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? > >SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!! > >TEACHER: What are you talking about? > >SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. > >GEORGE: Here it is! > >TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? > >CLASS: George! > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we > >didn't have ten years ago. > >WILLY: Me! > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? > >TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? > >FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? > >SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? > >JOSE: Don't bite any. > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". > >ELLEN: I is... > >TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." > >ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" > >Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day > >same time." > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's > >Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father > >didn't punish him?" > >Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand." > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? > >Father : No. Why do you ask that? > >Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is > >green and one is blue with red spots! > >Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same > >at home. > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute > >5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I > >musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still > >got > >hers." > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped > >him, what virtue would I be showing? > >Student: Brotherly love. > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before > >eating? > >Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same > >as your brother's. Did u copy his? > >Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog! > >*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- > >Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people > >are no longer interested? > >Pupil : A teacher. > >
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Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!! ![]() ![]() View All My Models Here. |
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#2
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Cute, very cute
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#3
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This actually happened at my mom's elementary school:
This little boy was taking a "test" to see if he was ready for 1st grade. The teacher asked him, "What animal gives us Pork?" The little boy answered "A porcupine." :hehehe:
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Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines |
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#4
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...Gotta luv them eh !!
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Current Build.....1/12 Scale Camaro......Almost finished!!! ![]() ![]() View All My Models Here. |
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#5
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Rofl very nice
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