Friends wedding + me drinking + lesbians...

[MBTN]

As those who frequent this section of the board, you probably know I drink a lot, do stupid things and post about it here. This weekend was no exception.

Story time! Kinda long.

So my good friend has his wedding this Saturday. While at the church waiting 2 of my friends go outside to smoke and see these other girls smoking. After everyone was done smoking my friend informed me these two chicks were lesbians. OK whatever, they are who they are. But this was obvious forshadowing because hey, it's me. Did I mention the brides sister was Bi? I guess she invited a few lesbian friends. So at the reception hall AKA party, I soon discover there are more lesbians than I thought. This really doesn't matter because I wasn't talking to any of them and was having a good time with other people there. Nor am I biased towards peoples orientation. But after a nice and strong LI Iced Tea, 2 double kamikaze shots and 12 rum and cokes something was bound to happen. I had already told my friend friday night that I was going to get shit-housed and roudy at his wedding. Obvious forshadowing.

Nothing happened though at the reception hall. However we had a nice hour long bus ride back to my friends house where at the beginning of the day we all met up. So a lot of us are hammered and we are all riding the bus. I'm somewhere in the middle with my friends, including my newly wed friend, whos is sitting behind me with his wife. So we're all being silly saying stupid shit. I say random stupid things like "fierce anal destruction!" or "uber butt lava!". Just random, absolutely stupid things. We continue to laugh and joke around. Apparently I said something and pissed off "power-dyke" in the back of the bus, who I never even saw before, and didn't know her and her lesbians entourage were even riding the bus. So "power-dyke" (PD from now on) started yelling about something in our direction. My friends and I are all confused like "wtf is this bitch yelling about?" She stands up and calls me out. "I heard you, you stupid asshole! I heard all the shit you said. You're a fucking bitch! Why don't you stand up and fucking talk shit now!" Everyone is now looking at this girl like "WTF?!"

I'm blitzed. I am now a little confused and getting angry. That was my cue and I stand up.

"What the fuck is your problem?!"

"You're a fucking asshole you piece of shit! Talking shit well we all heard you, you fucking piece of shit! Say something now?!"

"Want me to say something?! Was I even talking to you? Why don't you shut your fucking mouth, mind your own business and sit YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN"

So there was some more screaming like that and eventually PD gets out of her seat and comes to mine. Point at me and yelling.

"You fucking scum bag. You're a fucking pile of worthless shit. Fuck you!"

I'm sitting there with a smirk on my face and a cigar in my mouth just looking at this idiot. Some of my friends girl friends even told this girl to calm down and go sit down because nobody said anything about her or her friends and how we were talking amongst ourselves. So PD keeps flipping out and tells my friends and their girl friends to shut up, and how they are pieces of shit too and how we can all go fuck ourselves. Yadayadayada... Now it's my turn to chime in.

"Don't fucking talk to them like that. Nobody was fucking talking to you, and nobody fucking wants to hear you bitching. So shut the fuck up. Nobody was starting shit with you and here you are being a stupid bitch."
"Fuck you! I heard you! You said this and that! You're a fucking piece of shit!"
"WHAT DID I SAY?! WHAT DID I SAY?! FUCKING TELL ME. WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY?!"
"You're a fucking asshole you piece of shit!"
"Yeah fine. We know that. NOW WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY TO YOU, YOU FUCKING STUPID FAT CUNT?! DID I SAY ANYTHING? TELL ME WHAT I SAID. TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK I SAY TO YOU, YOU FUCKING STUPID DYKE BITCH"
"Fuck you, you're a fucking FAGGOT! That's what you are. A FAGGOT! FUCK YOU FAGGOT PIECE OF SHIT!"
"I'm a faggot?! I'M A FAGGOT?! ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS DYKE CUNT. THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL. I'M THE FAGGOT?! GET YOUR FUCKING FAT UGLY DYKE ASS OFF THE FUCKING BUS YOU FUCKING CUNT-COW"

Yeah, it was that ugly.

A few more exhanges like that and she starts walking off the bus, but not without calling me a "faggot" once more. So I told her to "walk off the bus you stupid fat cunt" once more. And that was the end of the yelling. At this point the bus was stopped, probably to drop people off or something, but I figured she got off. Some other pissed off lesbian came from the back to follow PD off the bus and to also yell at me and call me "piece of shit asshole". Too bad she was slammin' and a lesbian. So I told her she was a waste of vagina and would look better with my dick in her mouth. And with that she stormed off the bus as well. A few minutes go by and everyone is kinda just sitting there like "what the hell just happened" and I calm, down. PD comes back on walking right past me to the back of the bus, not even looking at me. Her hot lesbian friend followed behind and proceeds to remind me once more that I'm an asshole. Gee thanks. That was pretty much the end of it. A few moments later the hot lesbian gets up and comes to talk to my friend and his wife to apologize on PD's behalf. "I'm really sorry about that. It was blown out of proportion. It was a misunderstanding. I apologize on her behalf." I'm in next row up and hear all of this. So I sat there and simply said "why don't you just shut up, go sit down and tell your friend to come apologize. Everything was fine until your dumb friend had to start shit. So don't even apologize, because your words are worthless" That was the last thing I said. Needless to say the rest of the ride was quiet and we all got to our destinations.

My friend is on his honeymoon right now and when he gets back I'm sure we will have a little discussion about what happened.

Oh the things I do when I get drunk.

[Ridenour]

...Wow....

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by MBTN

So I told her she was a waste of vagina and would look better with my dick in her mouth.

Classic!

dyke =

I love it when two people are drunk and get pissed. Normal come backs you couldn't say while sober come out. LOVE IT!

[ToyTundra]

what no pics?

[Viper_Storm]

lol, thats pretty funny... horible that she started all that and couldnt even tell you what you said... f-ing bitch

[Toksin]

Stay the fuck away from my wedding.

[lamehonda]

You sure are good at fanning fires

Sounds like a woman that has a problem with all men. You did say she was a lesbian right, hmmm?

[Muscletang]

Originally Posted by Toksin

Stay the fuck away from my wedding.

Not me, you're invited to mine!

[MBTN]

w00! I think really though the reason everything quieted down was because my friends wife told all the chicks in the back to shut the fuck up. Awesome! And yes this was the typical lesbian. Butch with short hair. She probably drives a pickup. And we wonder why there are stereotypes... The bus was a pit of fire, and I was a 55 gallon drum of gasoline.

[ec437]

Originally Posted by MBTN

w00! I think really though the reason everything quieted down was because my friends wife told all the chicks in the back to shut the fuck up. Awesome! And yes this was the typical lesbian. Butch with short hair. She probably drives a pickup. And we wonder why there are stereotypes... The bus was a pit of fire, and I was a 55 gallon drum of gasoline.

you were actually a 55 gallon drum of alcohol, more accurately

[Mediocrity]

Do you do parties?

[Viper_Storm]

Originally Posted by MBTN

And yes this was the typical lesbian. Butch with short hair. She probably drives a pickup.

a true diesel dyke.

Originally Posted by ec437

you were actually a 55 gallon drum of alcohol, more accurately

[MagicRat]

Well, your friend is certainly going to remember his wedding for something.

[BP2K2Max]

hmm. from the thread title i was totaly expecting to hear about a threesome or some kinda sexual escapade. funny story though. it sucks that the bitch had to go and kill all the fun.

[MBTN]

Yeah the title kind of is a tease

Originally Posted by Mediocrity

Do you do parties?

Do I do parties?!
Half my posts here are about how wrecked I get at parties and do embarassing things. I get slapped by females, run down the street and try to shit at the corner deli parking lot, attempt to drive my car and have my friends drag me into the road, and what ever else it is that I do. There are going to be some more summer parties and I'll be sure to post about them here.