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#1
03-27-2005, 07:11 PM
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Advice For Women
Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behavior , and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior. Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister. A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing, your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him. A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at car-trunk boot sales. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him a delicious meal. Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love, we have no time to talk. A: Sex is an extremely difficult task for a man. Afterwards he needs rest. In fact, the more he loves you, the more hard work his lovemaking is, and the more rest he needs. Stop putting pressure on him. Buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds. A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on by you that he cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the 'effort' the more he loves you. Return this love by buying a nice, expensive present, and cooking him a nice meal. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should, he has to work a lot to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal. Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm. A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it gain to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present. And don't forget to cook him a delicious meal. 
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#5
03-28-2005, 12:38 AM
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Re: Re: Advice For Women
 love it!
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#7
03-28-2005, 05:41 AM
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Re: Advice For Women
 
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#9
03-28-2005, 06:13 AM
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^ you forgot a step.
it should be: File - Print - Give to girlfriend - get slapped in face. Done.
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#11
03-28-2005, 10:38 AM
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Oh man...this is funny. good job Raz
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#12
03-28-2005, 12:58 PM
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Re: Advice For Women
love the last one raz
__________________
1987 Honda Accord LX-Dead 1999 Honda Accord EX-L 5 sp-Sold 2006 Subaru WRX Wagon 5sp-Sold 2005 Nissan Frontier ext cab 4x4 4.0L-Sold 2006 Kawasaki Ninja 500r-Sold 2004 Yamaha FZ1 Silver/Black- Sold  2008 Mazdaspeed 3-In the driveway
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#13
03-28-2005, 03:04 PM
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Re: Advice For Women
That's pretty great. I am definitely going to share this with the girlfriend and see what she thinks.
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If wishes were horses, then beggers would ride.
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#14
03-29-2005, 04:38 PM
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Re: Advice For Women
If Eric was to show me these it would be no sex, no good home cooked meals, no more 3 somes, and his pay check would be mine the second it came in the mail!!!!! oh and no more sleeping in late on his days off
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#15
03-29-2005, 04:48 PM
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Re: Advice For Women
no more threesomes!
 what else are we supposed to fantisize about? thank god eric isnt on here!lol
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 88 10th anniversary rx7 and company h2.  [IMG] [/IMG]  [IMG]atkins streetported 3mm seal engine, act clutch, lightweight flywheel, downpipe, straightpipe, greddy power extreme exhaust, hks ssqv blow off valve, short shifter, tein flex suspension, energy bushings, bonez intake, new brakes, rotors, toyo tires, mazdaspeed replica seats
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