How Embarrassing

[Oz]

A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the
most embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:

4th Place.
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she
would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will
tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.'

After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last
thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter."

3rd Place
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
that I give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got
to the bottom of

the
stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled
SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents, and parents, aunts, uncles,
cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and
I were frozen on

the
spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.

2nd Place
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price

tag. The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed
out across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax
supersize". But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', and
replied in a business like tone,
his
voice booming over the same public address system:"Do you want the
kind you push in with your thumb or the kind one you belt in with a
hammer?"

1st Place. And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in
sugar?"The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding some
statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl
asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the
whole class burst out laughing.
The poor girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she
had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another
word, walked out of the class - and never turned. However, as she was
heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally
straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet
because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and
not in the back of
your
throat."

[-Josh-]

[KustmAce]

Originally Posted by Oz

1st Place. And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in
sugar?"The professor responded, "yes, that's correct", adding some
statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl
asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the
whole class burst out laughing.
The poor girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she
had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another
word, walked out of the class - and never turned. However, as she was
heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally
straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste sweet
because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and
not in the back of
your
throat."

That is the funniest thing I have read on here in a very long time!

Good find Oz!!!

[imtheoneandonlyD]

i liked the suprise one the best, if any of those were me i think that one would be the most embarassing

[xyfalconsrock]

awsome,
probably from tazzie,
bloody imbred,incest commiting fools.
good find

[LotusDreams]

I love the last one.

[-Davo]

that's halarious. I was almost thinking "I heard this being aired" about 2 weeks ago, but I was thinking of something differant, they were talking about 'you meant to say___ but actually said___' etc, that was halarious

[dantheman00114]

on that last one

[Andydg]

Those are fucking hilarious!!!

[LXDSMXL]

LOL I can't wait for lunch break so I could tell these to my co-workers, hehe

[Rbraczyk]

That last one is great.

[kittedb18bt]

oh my goodness.

[Raz_Kaz]

Awesome, best response ever!

[Beastiek2]

Yea that last one has been around for a while very funny stuff.

[Gotti]

i think #3 would be the most embarassing.... with your WHOLE FAMILY there LOL