Funny roadkill story

[Ricochet]

I copy pasted this from my buddy off columbusracing.com

OK, so I'm driving home from work after midnight in my Formula. I'm on Rt62 outside of New Albany, cruising along a little over the speed limit of 50 mph. 2 oncoming cars, I notice one has those darn blue HID lights... all of a sudden, ~10 feet in front of me I see something big, looks like a giant tumbleweed!? Or maybe a big tree branch?!

I of course hit the brakes, but hit/run over the mystery object, and slow down. Car sounds a little bit damaged. I pull in a drive way to turn around, and I look at the front of my car. Suprisingly it doesn't look too bad, but both of my fog lights are popped out. I'm sort of relieved, because I have my car scheduled to be put away for the winter as of the 16th, no coverage only comprehensive, so technically it's Saturday morning and I could get screwed if I wanted to make a claim.

So I turn around, and head back to see what I hit. I'm guessing some kids put something in the road, it's a Friday night after a big football game, who knows.

I see a buck (6 point or so) on the opposite side of the road, he's looking at me and walking all slow... but that couldn't have been what I hit!? There would be much more damage to my car.

And then I see it. Feathers everywhere! Lumps in the road. Maybe the kids put a bunch of dead chickens in the road? I drive by, turn around, and pull over. I grab an umbrella to clean this up, so other people don't run over the dead birds.

So the first bird I come to has no head, hmmm. Same with the next. And the next. All big white birds, I'm thinking now they are ducks from the webbed feet. And damn, how many did I hit?! They are spread a good 20-30 yards. I use the umbrella to scoot them off to the edge of the road. I find on the left side of the road most of their heads.

Looks like the ducks were alive, their wings flapping explains what I saw right before I hit them. And it looks like the air dam under my car decapitated most of them, as well as my license plate under there (it's mangled). I'm not sure what they were doing in the road at midnight. Poor duckies.

So the final tally: 9 ducks. Only one duck survived the beheading. Killing 2 birds with one stone? Pshh, I got 9 with a bird of my own.

[kittedb18bt]

i really didnt like it. oh well, maybe someone will find it funny. i dont like reading about animals being hurt in any way.

[clawhammer]

I was driving down a two lane highway at 75 and a bunch of birds fly across the road, but one of them didn't make it. I hit it with my hood, and it bounced over the top of my car. Good thing it didn't fall in my car because I had the sunroof open. Then i'm thinking to myself "that was one stupid bird"

[dantheman00114]

we caught a bird on the antenna once... it was stuck there until we got off the highway... it was hilarious just watching it slide down the antenna and fall off

[CamaroSSBoy346]

i really didnt like it. oh well, maybe someone will find it funny. i dont like reading about animals being hurt in any way.

we caught a bird on the antenna once... it was stuck there until we got off the highway... it was hilarious just watching it slide down the antenna and fall off

arent you the guy who wiped shit on a police cruiser?

[Andydg]

Didn't really find it funny seeings how I have birds as pets, but I did find it interesting. 9 ducks in one shot has to be some kind of record.

[Ricochet]

I didn't mean it as "funny ha ha", more like just funny.. I mean how often do you hear about a car running over 9 ducks beheading each one

[tman]

I was in my grandpa's old park avenue(retractable radio antenna) and as he was turning off the radio,which lowers the power antenna, the car in front of us throws out a used condom. I laughed the whole way home, and the rest of the family got quite a kick out of it.

[clawhammer]

^ What does the retractable antenna have anything to do with the condom? Did it get stuck or something?

[ec437]

Originally Posted by clawhammer

^ What does the retractable antenna have anything to do with the condom? Did it get stuck or something?

gotta use your imagination on that one...

[Dustin_S]

my father's ranger has a bent antenea from a (non-fatal) collision with a falcon in flight.

[-Jayson-]

9 ducks? damn! my gf would be in tears if she heard about this, she has a thing for ducks.

[tman]

Originally Posted by clawhammer

^ What does the retractable antenna have anything to do with the condom? Did it get stuck or something?

precisely.

[clawhammer]

^ Just because he said it was retractable, I thought he already had it hidden, and because it was hidden it couldn't get caught in it.

[tman]

as it was midway down in the process of retracting, the condom got stuck in the one of the pieces of the antenna thatslides into another piece.