How to prove that imports are better than domestics:

[Setanta]

Have you ever wanted to argue with muscle car owners and assert the superiority of your own car, but found this to be difficult because you had a slow car, relatively little automotive knowledge, and underdeveloped communications skills? Well, now you can still get V8 owners angry anyway, by following these simple rules which cover most of the situations you may find yourself in during online or face to face arguments.

1. Image
Remember, your image is extremely important as a riceboy. Therefore, make every effort to point out how popular the rice scene is. Appeal to how many people are building cars like yours. Brag about how the import scene is more than just a trend; it's a revolution. The urge to conform is a powerful force, and use it to your advantage whenever possible.

2. Opinions
In a debate, your opinions count as much as real facts. If you think that Mustangs are ugly, that counts for just as much against them as being a whole second faster in the quarter mile. Remember, facts take time to look up, whereas opinions only take seconds to dream up.

3. Horsepower
To estimate your own car's horsepower, take the stock hp rating, and add in the highest estimated power gain from each mod you have done. To estimate the horsepower of an American car, take its stock horsepower rating, and deduct 10 to 25 hp for it being a POS. Make no adjustments for mods. Remember, Japanese horsepower is better quality than the horsepower found in an American car. If you don't know how much horsepower an American car has, assume it has either 30 hp per liter, or 200 hp, whichever is less. If you only have the engine size in cubic inches and don't know how to convert it to liters, make up for this by talking about how much English units suck. You can never emphasize hp/liter ratios too much. Always brag about how this is more efficient, and just ignore ignorant comments like, "Well, the S2000 makes 120 hp per liter, but it guzzles gas like a V8!" People who make these comments just don't understand that Japanese cars are always more efficient just because they are Japanese, and Japanese have more efficient technology. If somebody reminds you that your car still has less horsepower, talk about what would happen if Honda built a V8 with the same specific output as a Type R, or about what kind of performance a Mustang would have if it had only half the engine size. Some domestic trivia buffs may be able to come up with examples of small, high performance American engines. Just ignore these remarks; you're not likely to win if you try arguing about such cars. Concentrate on V8's instead.

4. Weight
Assume all imports weigh approximately 2,500 lbs, including Eclipses and Supras. Extremely lightweight cars like the CRX and Miata are exceptions. hese should be assumed to weigh under 2,000 lbs. Assume all domestics weigh over 3,200 lbs at least, preferably over 3,800 lbs. The exceptions are really huge cars, such as the Chevy Impala or Crown Vics. These land yachts should be assumed to weigh over 5,000 lbs. If a domestic owner mentions something which you have no choice but to admit can't weigh that much, make fun of whatever POS he's come up with, and claim nobody in his right mind would want to be seen in something so ugly. See section 8, Pintos. Never, ever actually look up the curb weight of a car. If you make up your own weight figures, you can make the difference in weight look all that much more impressive. Constantly brag about power to weight ratios and how imports are better in that respect, even if somebody does the math and proves that many stock domestics have better power to weight ratios than your car.

5. Handling
Japanese cars handle better than American ones, and small FWD American cars handle better than pony cars. This is to be taken as an article of faith; you don't need any evidence to claim this, and shouldn't bother trying to bring up any evidence. Most domestic owners are primarily concerned with drag racing, so they seldom study enough about handling to argue this point. If someone does attempt to argue this, reply with some mumbo jumbo about how solid axles date back to the days of horse drawn wagons, and leave it at that. Do this even if your own car has a solid axle rear suspension. Also emphasize that light weight means better handling. See section 4, Weight. Emphasize that a large V8 up front makes for poor weight distribution, and neglect the fact that FWD cars frequently have even worse weight
distribution.

6. Milage
Brag about how much more mileage your car gets as often as possible. This is one area where you can be relatively certain your car performs better than muscle cars. The fact that muscle car owners usually don't care too much about mileage doesn't matter. Some may be content to get 25 mpg or so with a modern fuel injected pony car, so claim without proof that their cars really get 16 mpg or worse. Assume that older big block muscle cars get less than one mile per gallon. Always use city mileage estimates for domestics, and highway mileage estimates for imports, to make the gap seem as large as possible.

7. Quality control and reliability
American cars should be presumed to be built to 1978 levels of quality control. When you wish to demonstrate how much more reliable your car is, use either Consumer Reports or an account of some American car built in the late 70's or early 80's that some family member owned and afterwards swore never to by another American car. Brag about how your car is going to last 150,000 miles, and state that none of the domestics owned by your critics will last that long, even if some of them have somehow managed to keep a domestic car on the road for over 200,000 miles with an unrebuilt engine. Remember, closing your mind is your best defense about being confused by facts.

8. Pintos
The Pinto should be used as an example of how badly built American cars are. Treat all American compact cars as modern day descendants of the Pinto.
Ignore any comments about sick minded people who have either raced Pintos or stuffed V8's into them, or people with a sick devotion to meaningless trivia who have memorized such obscure data as the fact that only 27 Pintos ever caught fire due to being rear ended. Remember, image is what counts here, not reality. Pintos have a horrible reputation, and you should use it for all it's worth.

9. Progress and technology
It's an indisputable fact that cars have become better built, more powerful, and more reliable since the late 70's. Since you were probably born sometime in the late 70's or early 80's, what was built before then doesn't count anyway, so you can safely assume that newer is always better. Remember, many American V8's were designed even before the 70's, so they must be even worse than the cars designed in that decade.
Never pass up an opportunity to mention any kind of technology found in your car that is not found in traditional American muscle cars. It doesn't matter how useful or useless this technology is, if it was invented by the Japanese, or even if you have a clue as to what it does; proclaim it to be a sign of Japanese technological superiority. However, you should at least make an effort to spell the name of the innovation correctly.

10. Street racing
The best way to estimate the performance of your car is by what you've been able to beat in a street race. Your kill stories should have the best spin on them possible. For example, if you drive past a parked Corvette, claim you found a Corvette and blew by it like it was standing still. They don't have to know that it really was standing still. Or race vehicles such as dump trucks and conversion vans so you can claim you beat an American V8. Never post a timeslip if you can avoid it.

11. Magazines
Study up well on magazines like Consumer Reports and Super Street. They provide great arguing material. It's best to avoid magazines that cater to the enemy. Don't even touch books that cover serious, in-depth analysis of engine or chassis tuning. Your status as a riceboy is at stake here.

12. When all else fails
If you can't refute anything the people you are arguing with say, call them rednecks and/or accuse them of being gay. These will get them angry without actually requiring you to think about their arguements

[Setanta]

Personal favourites:

"However, you should at least make an effort to spell the name of the innovation correctly." - take that "V-TECH" boys :finger:

"To estimate your own car's horsepower, take the stock hp rating, and add in the highest estimated power gain from each mod you have done."

"Never post a timeslip if you can avoid it."

[FourthGenHatch]

I rather ask them for a ride in their muscle car.

[jeef]

Originally posted by FourthGenHatch
I rather ask them for a ride in their muscle car.

haha ditto, nothing like the feel of american muscle... i know of this v8 mustang that i can run pretty close with and out run him by a lil (very little) with great driving, god the feel of torque is so great in that car mmmmmmmmmmm

[darolh]

Amusing. I used to own a 5.0 GT and still find it amusing.....and true in a lot of respects.

My current low tech dinosaur vehicle is a 5500 lbs of 7.5 liter 4x4 truck. Gotta love all 9 mpg of it. More torque than god.

That 9mpg is why I commute in my civic.

[91civicDXdude]

torque? whats that? haha seriously you dont really need that much torque. take a b16 for example. it sucks on the take off but god damn when the vtec kicks in you will have a smile on your face that wont go away

[jeef]

have you ever ridden in a car with monster torque? i'm sorry but there is nothing like it, when you're in a car that will securly plant you in the seat from 1,500 rpm-5,500 rpm, my bro used to have a monte carlo, big ol' 350 with a 400 crank, so it was a 383 i reckon, omg that car was vicious, the only problem was the mounts couldn't hold his power...

and honestly the old reason i could run with the stang is he has the wrong rear end gear, its too low, he has an ungodly topspeed, but his acceleration is suffering a lil b/c of it

[Fishcat37]

:hehe: :hehehe: now that's some funny shit! I'm definitely going to use some of these on the local domestic guys just for shits and giggles - "For example, if you drive past a parked Corvette, claim you found a Corvette and blew by it like it was standing still. They don't have to know that it really was standing still. Or race vehicles such as dump trucks and conversion vans so you can claim you beat an American V8. Never post a timeslip if you can avoid it." However, I dont actually mind showing them my timeslip, tho. Even though my time isn't anything to write home about, a lot of them dont believe me that 4 cylinders could propel me to 14.919@96. So, that's when I bust out my timeslip (which is conveniently stored above my visor for quick and easy access) and most of the time they show me a little more respect. Anyways, kudos to Setanta for taking the time to type this out later all

[civickiller]

first of all that is the biggest load of bullshit i ever heard, the whole thing. second if you go read a muscle car magazine, they dont have articles on how to prove that riceboy wrong. the only people obsessed with proving each other wrong are import guys. import guys need to try and prove themselves to muscle car guys, muscle car guys know what is what. lets start at the beginning :

image - first of all there are more muscle cars out there than imports, this applies to racers, and not mommies civic. its true that imports are a revolution, but i would say half the guys in here like muscle cars and import, so its a revolution but its not taking over complete.

opinion - opinions are opinion and facts are facts. and facts count more than opinions. facts are true, opinions are just peoples biases remarks to something. and anyone getting into a conversation like this better know there facts.

horsepower - imports need to stretch hp the farthest it can go, idk about muscle car guys. and remember hp is hp anywhere you go. and when was the last time you seen a muscle car V8 with only 200hp. more like if you dont know the hp of a muscle car assume its 300hp. yeah and the reason why you think japanese engines are more efficent is because 4 cylinder cars are always more efficient doesnt matter who its built by. look at the tundra, and its V8, it has less gas mileage than a mustang or a camaro. adn the tundra engine is a japanese engine, but by your reasoning it should be making like 500hp, cause its around a 5 litier and if its 100hp per liter so that would mnake the tundra mtoor at 500hp. but its not so effiency is only for small motors, the bigger it gets the less efficent it gets.

weight - well you can assume the supra weighs only 2500lbs but youd look like an idiot and would only further muscle cars. again you mention crown victoria but that isnt a race car, get the weight of a mustang or a camaro dont use nonrace cars as an example cause it will only make you look like more of an idiot if you mention them. and amking up your own weights mean you dont know the weight and you shouldnt evne be in the conversation, dont get into a conversation where you dotn know all the facts. and power to weight ratio is nothing

handling - your right a import outhandles muscle cars, but who the fuck care abotu handling. oh that means you can go fast around turns and end up killing yourself. sorry but i dont wanna die today. drag racing is the best racing there is anyways. its like why do people fix up there suspension, so they can turn better, ok but if you do that your gonna drive faster around turns and it get dangerous.

mileage - if you care about it. thats one of the main points of imports. come on is that all you got. imports need to come up with some better arguments other than, oh yeah well mine gets better gas mileage. no one cares. and new camaros make around 24 mpg highway, thats pretty good when my friends 97 preludes get around the same gas mileage. your comparing new tech, so dont use imports new tech adn compare it to muscle cars old tech. compare it to mucscle car new tech.

realiability - well muscle cars can go over 200,00 miles, sure they wont if your racing. but an import wont go over 200,000, if its been racing too. so both car are just as reliable. in fact, imports arent that reliable in the long run. you got worry aobut the timing belt, vavles, head gasket. with a muscle car you dont need to worry aobut any of those. and with an import, if you make like 50 hp above stock you start to break axles. a muscle car axles will pretty much last through any hp you put it through

pintos - wtf is this shit about. enough

tech - take a 2000 civic and a 2000 camaro and compare. its all the same. dotn take a 2000 civic and a 69 camaro and try and compare, cause then it just makes import guys look bad when you try and do that.

street racing - well there arnt much imports out there that can beat a stock mustang gt. and that parked coverette, dont make shit up cause that plain out lying, do you have to lie to prove muscle cars wrong. if you need to lie then i guess muscle cars are better cause they dont need to lie. lying means that you cant find anyting to beat muscle car guys with so you gotta make shit up to look good. again it just hurts import guys.

magazine - well muscle car magazines dont have articles on how to probe that riceboy wrong. why cause they dont care. only guys who care are imports. if imports dont care about muscle cars, then why do we feel the need to prove outselves to them. we only need to prove it to ourselves. if you need approval from someone else that means you look up to them.

fails - well if all else fails then i guess muscle cars are better, calling them names just makes imports look more stupid.


so plz everyone out there dont listen to this guy, cause its just gonna make things worse. do yourself a favor and just forget about it. who the fuck cares what muscle cars think aobut imports, they dont give a shit why should we.

[diegoaccord]

WHOA! he is being sarcastic, so get that turd outta your ass

[civickiller]

fuck you. i am not talking to him. i am talking to all the guys that are acutally gonna listen to him adn believe him. there are more peeps out there than you know that would acutally believe what hes saying and are gonna try and use it. i am just trying to help them save face. and get the truth out.

[Setanta]

whoops - sorry. It was a cut and paste from www.performanceforums.com not my own work.

As for the rest, I dunno that anyone would take it as gospel - other than ricers

It's humour

[ci5ic]

Originally posted by civickiller
fuck you. i am not talking to him. i am talking to all the guys that are acutally gonna listen to him adn believe him. there are more peeps out there than you know that would acutally believe what hes saying and are gonna try and use it. i am just trying to help them save face. and get the truth out.

Dude... If anyone out there was dumb enough to believe that post, they deserve whatever they get because of it! Even the people who didn't believe it, but took it seriously enough to respond with a lengthy retort, need to take a step back and relax... LOL

[FourthGenHatch]

Yeah most Muscle Car drivers are older guys and are way more mature than dumbass high schoolers in their 4 door Civic Type-Rs.

I was at this VW meet at a local park and they were having a burnout contest. Well this like 40s Hotrod Pickup with massive blower sticking out of the hood drove by the flagged him over and told him to burn out but he wouldn't. He had a FEAR THIS sticker on the back of his car. And all the kids were like that ain't nothing to fear. It's more like that guy has nothing to prove.

[ci5ic]

The thing I think is funny is that all the import owners get bagged on for being "ricers", but if you look around, domestic owners do the same dumb shit that "ricers" do (Stickers, excessive tail-pipes, cut springs, windshield banners, etc.)