New Year Horoscope!!!

[Neutrino]

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Here's mine:
The two fish swimming in opposite directions signify your ability to see things from both sides. It also makes you a weak-willed, wishy washy, procrastinating day dreamer. While you were asleep at the wheel of your Pentium II, the world just upped and went speed crazy on you. There's Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, USB, Firewire, 32-bit, 64-bit, DDR I, DDR II, Megahertz, Schmegahertz, GPU, VPU, and all other kinds of high falutin' shenanigans going on. Of course, you still don't know what software to run on all this jacked up hardware, but once you figure out why StarOffice works the way it does then, you might even upgrade from MS Works 1997. And just remember, it is not cool for a grown man to own a PS2, an Xbox, AND a GameCube, all at the same time. Pick Ain't nothing more unnatural looking than a pair of fish sitting on the fence. Yuck!

[Graphik Styles]

You are a lying scumbag, but no-one cares because there's always that other side of you that seems to be so darn nice. In 2003 you will use your bipolar schizophrenia to secure a job as head of baggage screening at a major airport. Wary of lawsuits and civil rights protests, you will ignore the big dude with the black THG tee shirt and the funny sounding name, and make sure the fat couple from Iowa gets their Reeboks scanned twice. After a few months, the stars are going to be right for you to venture out on your own. You can set up your own security software company, and send out press releases about the threat of total Internet meltdown when you discover the 4,458,475th hold in IE. Remember, being two-faced is like having two lives with just one set of taxes.