Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers inside

[YogsVR4]

It may be a bit old - but I found it funny.

TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of all chickens.

BILL CLINTON: I repeat that I have never had an improper relationship with any chicken. Did I cross the road with that chicken? Well, that depends on the meaning of 'crossed the road'. I did not cross the road with the chicken, per se. I did, however, have a cigar as I aided the chicken in 'strolling' across the road. I was alone with the chicken on several occasions and there was more than one opportunity to 'cross the road'. Actually, the chicken approached me about 'crossing the road'. I did not 'cross the road' with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.

KENNETH STARR: The chicken did not cross the road on his own recognizance. I think that the evidence will clearly show that Bill Clinton did encourage the chicken to cross the road against it's own free will. Furthermore, the evidence will show that Mr. Clinton did, in fact, engage in an improper relationship with the chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken? I cannot recall at this time.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road for you to believe it?

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was the chicken doing wandering around all over the place anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken Coop 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who is crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

[Graphik Styles]

heh heh funny shit

[Jimster]

LOL- they're all funyy because they are so true- in fact I can just picture Bill Clinton and Jerry Seinfeld saying them so damned well......

[ci5ic]

See also:

http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/t77800.html

:finger:

hehehe.

[kicker1_solo]

hahaha, the teacher one is funny