Not models but a good laugh! Rice jokes!

[Purpura Delujo]

Please leave a message if you found it funny or if you still think i'm an anti-import dickhead, which i'm NOT and I have already explained about that.

Ok, please don't go skitz at me this time for putting on some rice jokes, I found them extremely funny and I hope you do to. Word in advance this has nothing to do with IMPORTS! Geez...Anyway here they are, hope they provide some christmas laughs!

'Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
Was a domestic V8 and no cops in sight,

I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor,
To beat this darn Nova, even with its big blower,

As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The Nova erupts in clouds of tire smoke,

Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four VTEC pistons,

Racing ahead I'm the star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when that V8 gets traction,

Grabbing second, I hear the RPM sing,
My mirror is blocked by my shopping cart wing,

I now hear the roar, of that big monster gaining,
All I can do is keep that four banger straining,

In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying now, a thing of the past,

Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool, like you can relate,

Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver backs off just to give me a holler,

"You can't win them all," he says in a fling,
"You may not win any, in that silly thing."

I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow..... it will be a better night.


EMINEM's R!cer Joint

Hi! My name is (who?)... My name is (what)... My name is (sratches)... R!ce Burner!

Hi kids, do you like 5 inch tips?, Wanna see me stick chrome fender flares over each one of my Konigs?
Wanna follow me and do exactly as i did?,
Try NOS and get your motor #$%#ed up worse then my life is?
My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight,
but i can't figure out which sticker to put over my license plate.
And the mechanic says "R!ce Burner you's a crack head "Nu-uh" "Then why's
your car dead man its wasted " Well since age 9 I've wanted an SI so i could put chrome 18's on it and make it run 16.9's.
Got pissed off and ripped all my honda emblems off,
And replaced them with "R" badges so people know im not soft.
I smoke a big bowl of chron, and lay in my lawn, for longer then it took me to put my altezzas on.
"Come here bastard" "Dude , wait a minute thats a viper, dawg!!"
I don't give a #$%#, i'll just fly by and put my hazards on!!!!!

[Jonno]

umm, there is a car jokes forum for this stuff....

[Purpura Delujo]

Oh well sorry if I was trying to share a laugh with you all, i'll get rid of it then? I knew someone would say some shit about it.

[Jonno]

Originally posted by Lowriders4Life
Oh well sorry if I was trying to share a laugh with you all, i'll get rid of it then? I knew someone would say some shit about it.

No,

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if you post jokes in here, but you should also put the jokes in the car jokes or the completely off topic forums.

[flyonthewall]

I just hate the term 'Rice' Where doe this come from anyway? Surely its just a stereotypical pop at the Japanese race - or asians in general for that matter! Personally i'd like to see no further reference made to this term at all in this forum!

[turmio]

Amen.

[935k3]

I do not think it's funny nor do I want to see it here. As an American I have met and worked with Asian people and I have found them to be a wonderful people and I am thankful for the contribution they make to this country and to the world for that matter.

[djAkira36]

Originally posted by flyonthewall
I just hate the term 'Rice' Where doe this come from anyway? Surely its just a stereotypical pop at the Japanese race - or asians in general for that matter! Personally i'd like to see no further reference made to this term at all in this forum!

Rice: see also Riceboy/Ricer/Domestic Rice- Generally referring to the drivers, or style of their sport compact cars that are... powered by stickers, oversized knock-off brand wheels, APC products and accessories(tail lights), the color yellow, outrageous bodykits and graphics boasting parts that are not on the car, bi-plane wings, cut springs, Carbonfiber interior parts, and basically anything that DOES NOT improve performance.
Ricers can be identified by their loud no-name coffe can exhausts and overly negative camber coupled with blatant emblem displacement. ie Type R or GTR emblems on a Civic DX/Chevy Cavalier/ V6 Mustang/etc.
Behavior: Can be found alone or in packs. They like to rev on other cars(even other Imports) while traveling in the opposite direction, or if the other car is at a left turn signal.... Most have seen the movie "The Fast and the Furious" one too many times. They also have a tendency of using the term "JDM" without even knowing what it means.
Generally, the popular cars of choice are bottom line Honda Civics, Chevy Cavaliers, Pontiac Sunfires, V6 Mustangs, and 4 cylinder automatic Honda Accords. But no make or model is discriminated upon.

Evasion and avoidance of riceboys: either step on the gas and pull away, or challenge for pink slips for Riceboys are all talk...

Be sure not to confuse the Riceboy with the elusive Import Enthusiasts who tend to travel as sleepers and spend more money on actual performance products rather than accessories.

:hehehe:

In other words...

Import enthusiast= good
Riceboy= gives import enthusiast bad name

[flyonthewall]

Originally posted by djAkira36


Rice: see also Riceboy/Ricer/Domestic Rice- Generally referring to the drivers, or style of their sport compact cars that are... powered by stickers, oversized knock-off brand wheels, APC products and accessories(tail lights), the color yellow, outrageous bodykits and graphics boasting parts that are not on the car, bi-plane wings, cut springs, Carbonfiber interior parts, and basically anything that DOES NOT improve performance.
Ricers can be identified by their loud no-name coffe can exhausts and overly negative camber coupled with blatant emblem displacement. ie Type R or GTR emblems on a Civic DX/Chevy Cavalier/ V6 Mustang/etc.
Behavior: Can be found alone or in packs. They like to rev on other cars(even other Imports) while traveling in the opposite direction, or if the other car is at a left turn signal.... Most have seen the movie "The Fast and the Furious" one too many times. They also have a tendency of using the term "JDM" without even knowing what it means.
Generally, the popular cars of choice are bottom line Honda Civics, Chevy Cavaliers, Pontiac Sunfires, V6 Mustangs, and 4 cylinder automatic Honda Accords. But no make or model is discriminated upon.

Evasion and avoidance of riceboys: either step on the gas and pull away, or challenge for pink slips for Riceboys are all talk...

Be sure not to confuse the Riceboy with the elusive Import Enthusiasts who tend to travel as sleepers and spend more money on actual performance products rather than accessories.

:hehehe:

In other words...

Import enthusiast= good
Riceboy= gives import enthusiast bad name

Sure, i have no trouble understanding all that, over here we just call em boy racer's. I still need someone to prove to me that 'Rice' is not a racist and derogatory term directed toward Asians.

[RyanGiorgio]

Excellent explanation. I agree with you 100%. Its those damn posers that follow the FNF that really do give TRUE import tuners a bad image.

[bigfrit]

RICE =

Come on ! It's just funny to see all those little rice boys thinking that they would go faster just adding bumpers, huge @zz -wings and buckets instead of exhausts!
But let's just say that these guys are exceptions to the other Japanese car lovers and that they are the fakes who give import tuning a bad name. But that doesn't mean we can't all have a laugh at them?

[Slippery]

Come on guys get a grip! Lowriders was just posting a few jokes......Maybe this wasnt the correct place to post them but there is nothing racial in any of them! Many people use the term "RICE" in this section and no-one has had a problem with it until this post.......do a search and see how many matches it come up with (25 pages of matches)
Does any English person that hears an Austrailian say the word "pom" get offended? I think not
If you are going to take offence to this post then you should be deleting many many posts and the word rice should never be used on AF
I found these jokes funny and as I was reading them I though of someone under 20, baseball cap on backwards with baggy jeans not an Asian person
My 2 cents

[freakray]

I have to agree with Chris on the side of the term of rice being derogatory in many senses.
Don't get me wrong, I laughed at the Nova joke, thought it was funny.
I can confirm what Chris says about the term boy-racer too....
I have heard many Harley riders refer to my fave bikes as rice-burners, but they sure don't like it when I call their bikes 'coffee grinders'.

Education breeds tolerance, and since we have such a diverse forum here regarding nationalities, I think there needs to be a greater level of understanding so that we don't offend people, or for that matter people get offended over terms they don't even understand.

Ray

[MikeDeuce]

The origin may involve asian culture, but I don't really think it can be considered a racially-derogatory comment anymore. I've seen white boys, hispanic, black, hell -- I've seen examples from every race of people that I would consider ricers.

It's like saying if you see a young black guy in a souped up honda, is he a "Boy Racer"? That sure sounds offensive to me given the situation!

Look at it this way, if someone calls your car a "Rice Rocket", that's not too bad! Part of it is still a rocket

btw, not that it means much, but I'm half Korean and that half of me certainly isn't offended by the term.

[Purpura Delujo]

"Ricer" couldn't be only refered to an Asian car driven by an Asian person you know. You see in Super Street Magazine, the bodykit advertisers actually have alot of rice looking bodykits for Dodge neons, Chevy Cavaliers etc, they are American cars so the term ricer obviously doesn't concern only Asian cars. I certainly am not racist and havn't even thought of "ricer" being a racist word. Calling them a boy racer sounds like in some way you think a young person can't drive, let me tell you you are wrong. I'm sure you were not that great at driving when you were young and just getting to know how to come to terms with a real cars handling etc, and i'm sure there are alot of oung drivers who are maniacs. But not all of them, my friends brother is 19 and he can drive like a frantic racer and be in complete control all the time. Just because some of you are old now ( :finger: ) doesn't mean you should call "ricers" boy racers, and start becoming a bunch of tightarses (j/k).

Thankyou to the people who saw the funny parts in those jokes and understood them, thought there would be more then that. Another thank you to the people who thought of what I was saying before posting. Anyone got any good jokes to look at?