Cyber-sex for idiots

[taranaki]

WELLHUNG: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
SWEETHEART: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

WELLHUNG: I'm 6'3'' and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

SWEETHEART: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

WELLHUNG: OK

SWEETHEART: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

WELLHUNG: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

SWEETHEART: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing you're bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

WELLHUNG: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

SWEETHEART: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breast. My nipples are erect for you.

WELLHUNG: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

SWEETHEART: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

WELLHUNG: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

SWEETHEART: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

WELLHUNG: I suddenly sneeze. Your breast are covered with spit and phlegm.

SWEETHEART: What?

WELLHUNG: I'm so sorry; Really.

SWEETHEART: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

WELLHUNG: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

SWEETHEART: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

WELLHUNG: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

SWEETHEART: Why don't you take off your glasses?

WELLHUNG: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

SWEETHEART: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

WELLHUNG: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

SWEETHEART: Hurry back, lover.

WELLHUNG: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

SWEETHEART: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

WELLHUNG: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

SWEETHEART: What's the matter now?

WELLHUNG: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

SWEETHEART: Mmm, yes. Come on.

WELLHUNG: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

SWEETHEART: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

WELLHUNG: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

SWEETHEART: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

WELLHUNG: I'm flaccid.

SWEETHEART: What?

WELLHUNG: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

SWEETHEART: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

SWEETHEART: [logged off]

[DVSNCYNIKL]

Failing on the internet are we Taranaki?

[Rich]

Originally posted by taranaki

WELLHUNG: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

ROTFLMFAO!

Truely a classic there!

[Gonthrax]

Originally posted by HuMMerMan




ROTFLMFAO!

Truely a classic there!

ROFL!!! :hehehe: I love that one too Hummerman It had me laughing my ass off in the middle of work when it's way to early for any one to be laughing that hard so I got funny looks

[L8dy_Integra]

hahha that was cute! hahaha i like the guys attitude...hes so dorky!

[Gonthrax]

Originally posted by L8dy_Integra
hahha that was cute! hahaha i like the guys attitude...hes so dorky!

Woohoo, I'm not alone any more

[Spec2 Girl]

Mr T you promised that you wouldn’t post our conversations on here??!!!!





j/k

[Gonthrax]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Mr T you promised that you wouldn’t post our conversations on here??!!!!





j/k

You silver tongued devil you

[taranaki]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Mr T you promised that you wouldn’t post our conversations on here??!!!!





j/k

:cry: :cry: :cry: Not fair!!!!!:cry: :cry: :cry:

Anyway.....there's a little PM file called 'sent items'......I'm sure that I could find something MUCH better to post if I wanted to!

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by taranaki
:cry: :cry: :cry: Not fair!!!!!:cry: :cry: :cry:

I sorry. It was my evil twin!

[taranaki]

Your evil twin will get a good spanking on her sensible navy blue undies when I see her!

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by taranaki
Your evil twin will get a good spanking on her sensible navy blue undies when I see her!

Bring it on! Evil twins don’t own sensible navy blue undies though.

[taranaki]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Bring it on! Evil twins don’t own sensible navy blue undies though.

Lies ! I know for a fact that 'evil twin has the full school uniform:licker:

And the nurse outfit...


Anr the sheep costume!

[Spec2 Girl]

Originally posted by taranaki


Lies ! I know for a fact that 'evil twin has the full school uniform:licker:

And the nurse outfit...


Anr the sheep costume!

I wouldn't know, she doesn't tell me what she owns! :angel:

[taranaki]

Originally posted by Spec2 Girl
Evil twins don’t own sensible navy blue undies though.

your last post is contradicted by this one.

Bad Spec2 girl!

Taranaki can tell when you are telling fibs!

Now I will have to punish you...........................