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#1 | |
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AF Enthusiast
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Auckland
Posts: 482
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Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
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Sooooo sad its almost funny!!!
This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He
rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish. "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?" the man asks. The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it. "Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before." The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go. Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling. "What's your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch? The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all skin included The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million Trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark. "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still be alive after all that?" He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it?" he asked. "Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor." Curious made the Panda do it!!! :angel: :angel:
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Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... ----------------------------------------------- Life!!!! I've Seen It And Its Rubbish !!!!! ------------ "The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards."
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#2 | |
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AF Fanatic
![]() Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,430
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geez thats bad
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Darkness. ![]() The new official owner of www.darkness.co.nz (but theres nothing there yet.) ------------ "Have you seen Star Wars? The Darkness is the Force on crack" |
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#3 | |
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AF Enthusiast
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Groan
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#4 | |
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worlds tallest midget
![]() Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Spokane, Washington
Posts: 6,212
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I feel sick.
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#5 | |
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Funding the welfare state
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no no no no no no no no no no no no no
Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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#6 | |
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Banned
![]() Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Elsewhere
Posts: 16,048
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Damn........he disappears without a trace for days on end,then comes back with this????????
Good to see you again,panda. |
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#7 | |
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AF Enthusiast
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 1,027
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This is kinda morbid, but it's true. It is not that unusual for some one to survive an electric chair shock. In fact a lot of people take 2 shocks. I don't know the cut off but I think that if you survive 3 shocks they have to let you go otherwise it constitutes "cruel and unusual punishment." And that has happened once or twice.
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Initialize your Dreams! Master of the invisble post... |
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#8 | ||
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Funding the welfare state
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Quote:
![]() Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
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Resistance Is Futile (If < 1ohm) |
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#9 | ||
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AF Enthusiast
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 136
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Re: Sooooo sad its almost funny!!!
Quote:
Geeze - stop using my "good" name :angel: |
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#10 | |
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I'm still here
![]() Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Auckland
Posts: 5,630
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kind of corny but also vaguely humerous
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#11 | |
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R.I.P. DAD 3/25/11
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:cry: :cry: :cry:
I'm mad at myself for actually reading the whole thing.:finger:
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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
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#12 | |
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AF Fanatic
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I order you to give me back them 30 seconds of my life
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#13 | |
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AF Newbie
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 27
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BORING
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#14 | |
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AF Fanatic
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that was WRONG in so many ways.
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Like a boy - but BETTER! 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5X 1997 Honda Civic EX Coupe Inform yourself: AF User Guidelines |
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