Why, Why, Why ?

[dugie6551]

Why, Why, Why ?


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why did they put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, and put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Why don’t you ever hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

[2.2 Straight six]

why? because god hates you.

[eversio11]

Pretty good read, I think I saw it on here before

[sv650s]

Originally Posted by dugie6551

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

i need someone to answer that cos i do it all the time, i mean i just did it 2 minutes ago.

[2.2 Straight six]

yea, im constantly fridge-gazing, my mum complains about it all the time.

"why do you always look in there, are you expecting it to have changed?"

"i was hoping you'd been food shopping."

[G-man422]

^^ I hear ya.

[sivic02]

Why? Because stone cold said so!

Nice list.

[Damien]

i just continously look to see if i missed something...

sometimes you just overlook the good food!

[Toksin]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Fuckin works, doesn't it?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

They're punishing you for not managing your money correctly.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

You gonna count the fuckin stars?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

It only sticks when it sets. The bottle doesn't let it get air so it doesn't set. Sheeeit.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

In case the attendant blunders and jabs himself, shit man!

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the stubble off his face every morning.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why get hit with something when you can avoid it?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Radio. And to stop the aliens reading their minds.

Why did they put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Because because otherwise it would be lip.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

They're really, really, really fucking old.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Not anymore!

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Probably. It's mattresses. Who the fuck cares?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Inspiration, but sometimes you hope the lunchmeat has evolved into a life form you can kill and eat.

Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, and put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Loosen it from the carpet. Geeeeeeeeeeeze.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end your first try?

What freaky ass plastic bags do you use?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

The magnetic field created around a lightbulb when in the vicinity of an insects flapping wings creates a temporal vortex which teleports the bugs into the light.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Maybe because you're just a clumsy fuck.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

You're just a wet blanket.

Why don’t you ever hear father-in-law jokes?

They tend to keep a low profile and kill when annoyed.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

75% of statistics are made up on the spot.

[Damien]

Dave just stole and owned this thread!!!

[vinnym86]

Toksin, the all-knowing, all-mighty mod. he'll take a piss on your head